


The Grounder Four

by Rainezeik



Series: Lexa and Alicia Twin Series (Clexa) [1]
Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Alicia Clark - Freeform, Alicia and Lexa are twins, Angst, Clarke Griffin - Freeform, Clexa, Commander Lexa, F/F, F4 - Freeform, Love/Hate, Modern AU, Slow Burn, clexa fandom - Freeform, clexakru - Freeform, feisty clarke, heartaches, love hate relationship, popular lexa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2018-09-12 14:20:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 72,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9076174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainezeik/pseuds/Rainezeik
Summary: "Those two are Lexa and Alicia Woods. The two gorgeous twins. They're family is one of the richest families in the whole world not only here in the US. The one with the straight hair is Alicia. She's the quiet in the group, while the other is Lexa Woods. The leader of the Grounders. Commander, that’s what we call her. Four words that you have to remember when it comes to her, 'don’t mess with her'."I watched as the whole incident happened right before my eyes. One thing for sure though, I'm not going to involve myself with 'The Grounders'. THIS IS CLEXA ENDGAME WITH A HAPPY ENDING!BUT WILL BE FILLED WITH ANGST...





	1. Meeting The Grounders

**Author's Note:**

> Because of the increasing popularity of one of my first fics in the Brittana Fandom, I decided to rewrite it again for the Clexa Fandom. 
> 
> So yeah, here it is... 
> 
> This story is based on the popular asian anime and series (Meteor Garden, Boys Over Flowers, Hana Yori Dango) 
> 
> and also based on my previous Brittana fic (The Flower Four)
> 
> With that said, I will give this story a touch of Clexa so I might be changing some scenes, but for now, enjoy and meet my new F4 or now I call them, "The Grounders" or "The Grounder Four"

I don't want to be here, I don't want to be in this goddamn school for rich kids. First, I'm not rich. I just got in here because my father borrowed a large sum of money from his boss just to finance my tuition in this school. I know the fucking reason why he did that. He wants me to be involved with the rich kids, no erase that, he wants me to MARRY an heiress. Yes, that's right. An heiress.

Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Clarke Griffin, and I'm gay. I'm attracted to girls, but honestly, I never had a girlfriend. I just know that I'm attracted to them. Anyway, I'm just so glad that my parents are supportive of me. But they have rules though, and sometimes I hate them for setting those rules.

_"Mom, I'm gay. I'm not attracted with your boss' son so stop pushing me to like him coz I'm just NOT interested." I told them once, eventually outing myself to them._

_Their response shocked me a bit because they weren’t even shocked. At all._

_My father said, "Oh. I'm sorry Clarke, why you didn't say so? Well, we can change our plans right honey?" he glanced to my mom and I freaked out a little._

_My mom looked at me with that smile on her face, "We have plan B."_

_"What is plan B?" I glared at them._

_"Well, your father borrowed a large sum of money from his boss to enroll you in a perfect school." she said._

_I widen my eyes in shock. "What? Why will I transfer school? I'm graduating next school year mom! I don't need to transfer school! That's crazy!"_

_"Don't be hard-headed Clarkey… We want you to transfer in Polis Academy. An exclusive school for rich, gorgeous, and multi-millionaire girls." my mom jumped in excitement._

I know right, my parents are a bit crazy sometimes, well actually they are crazy. They want me to find myself a girlfriend, a rich girlfriend, that's why they decided to switch my school from public to private.

As I was making my way to my locker, a girl bumped me right into my shoulder.

"Oh sorry" she said, adjusting her eyeglasses.

I smiled. "It's okay."

"Your new here? Because I think this is the first time I saw your face." she said.

"Yeah. The newcomer. That's me." I laughed bitterly.

She extended her hand. "Oh, I'm Echo. You are?"

"Clarke.”

"Nice to meet you, Clarke." she said.

"Nice to meet…" but then I was interrupted by the sound of students running at the corridor. "What was that?"

I noticed Echo smiled shyly. "The Grounders are coming."

"Grounders?" I asked, clearly curious.

"Grounders. It's forgivable that you don't know them because you're a new student. But the rules in this school are: one, get to know them. Second, stay out of their way. They rule the school, and if they don't like you, they can kicked you out." Echo explained.

"How?" I asked.

She didn't answer me; she tugged my hand and pulled me to join the crowd.

 

That was the moment when I saw them. The Grounders. Three sports cars parked in the middle of the school premises. Tires screeching very loudly and it looks like they were racing with each other.

As the first car door opened, a pretty girl comes out with long dark hair. She smiled widely into the crowd, waving her hand to the students watching including us.

Echo whispered next to me, "That's Octavia Blake. Her family is one of the richest families here in the States. She's the nicest of the Grounders but she likes college women more. Older, hot women to be exact."

I snorted. She's pretty but definitely not my type.

Then the second car, the black one, opens and a tall blonde girl comes out. The corner of her lips smiled as she looked at the screaming crowd.

Echo whispered again to me, "That's Anya Forrest. She's definitely the biggest player in the group. There's this saying that if Anya looks at you directly into your eyes, you can get pregnant." My eyes wide in shock as I turned to Echo, she giggled. "Not literally, silly. I mean she can get your virginity in an instant. So don't lock eyes with her." I snorted. Definitely not my type either.

Lastly, the red Ferrari car in the middle, both driver's seat and passenger's seat door opened. I thought I was seeing double as I saw two pretty gorgeous women stepped out of the car. The one in the passenger side, have this straight blonde hair, she looks bored though. She glanced at the crowd and she didn't even look interested unlike the first two. She didn't even smile. She looked very bored.

And then my eyes flew to the other side, they looked exactly alike, but there's still something different. Her brunette hair has these large wavy curls and part of it is braided. She removed her aviator shades and put it on top of her head, she glanced at the crowd wearing an arrogant face. She smirked a little that made the girls at my back swoon.

"Those two are Lexa and Alicia Woods. The two gorgeous twins. They're family is one of the richest families in the whole world not only here in the US. The one with the straight hair is Alicia. She's the quiet in the group, while the other is Lexa Woods. The leader of the Grounders. Commander, that’s what we call her. Four words that you have to remember when it comes to her, 'don’t mess with her'."

"Why?"

"See for yourself." Tina said.

I watched as the Grounders walked towards us, and the crowd split into half making way for them. One student at my side pushed another student directly just in front of Lexa Woods. The girl bumped into Lexa's shoulder.

"Sorry. I'm very sorry." she said, begging on her knees as Lexa touched her shoulder. The crowd went quiet. Everybody waits for Lexa to speak to the girl.

"Sorry? If Saying Sorry is legal, then why do we need cops for?" she said with that arrogant tone of hers.

"I'm so sorry…" the girl continued to begged.

"Stop saying sorry!" Lexa hissed. But the girl continued to apologize. "I said, shut the fuck up!" she screamed as she kicked the trash bin at the girl's side. The girl shivered at Lexa's wrath.

I want to go near the girl to stop her from crying, but then Echo held me in place. She whispered. "Don't mess with her."

So I just watched as the poor girl cry in front of this arrogant Lexa.

"I don't want to see girls crying. So stop it!" the girl stopped, still eyes on the floor. "Now get the hell out of my sight!" she said and the girl immediately stands up and ran towards the bathroom.

 

"Easy Lex." Anya said as she touched Lexa's shoulder.

"Do you know how expensive this dress is? And that girl just ruined it by leaning into me." Lexa countered.

"I know. I know. Just ignore her. Anyway, It's the first day of school, don't let her ruined your good mood." Anya said in a soothing voice.

"Yeah. Just ignore that girl. You probably scared the poor girl. I might as well comfort her later." Octavia said and gave Lexa a devious smile.

"Don't you have taste?" Lexa asked.

"Hmmm… I have. But…" Octavia smiled again.

"Stop it. Perv." Lexa smirked.

The three started to walk upstairs when the quiet one, Alicia Woods stopped and fixed the trash bin in place.

"Alicia! Come on!" Lexa called at her twin sister.

 

I watched as the whole incident happened right before my eyes. One thing for sure though, I'm not going to involve myself with 'THE Grounders'.

 

* * *

 

 

"Why are they doing that? It's like they own the school?" I hissed at Echo and she stared at me wide-eyed. I can tell that she was afraid that somebody would hear me.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the crowd. "Don't ever say that. If somebody heard you, you will be in big trouble."

"Why?"

"You see. If you offended one of the Grounders, especially the Commander. Next thing you knew, you will receive a Grounder Red Tag."

"Red Tag?" I asked.

Echo was about to say anything when a girl started crying on the far end side of the locker. We both looked at her. Then somebody shouted, "She got a Red Tag!"

I looked at the girl who was staring at her locker, and then I saw the Grounder Red Tag Echo referred to. It says 'You are Dead. -Grounders'.

Next thing I knew, everyone slushed the girl. And someone dragged her hand away from her locker. I heard them saying, "This is for offending our goddesses."

"What was that?" I asked Echo.

"That's the one I've been explaining you right from the very beginning. If you received a Grounder red tag. You're doomed. Everybody will bully you, physically and emotionally. Until you can't take it anymore that it's better to have you drop out of school." Echo explained.

That can't happen to me. My father borrowed a large sum of money just to get me to enter in this hell of a school. I can't waste that. And the tuition in this school is very much expensive especially this school uniform. I can't waste it either.

Which got me thinking, "Why are they not wearing uniform? The Grounders?" I asked.

Echo laughed at me. "As I've said, they rule the school. The Woods own the school. And they can dress whatever they want. It's their call. And it's better to see them like that. I loved their choice of clothes." Echo tried to hide her blush but I already noticed.

"You have a thing on them too? Ugh." I snorted. How can everybody like them if they're practically doing shit with other student?

Echo blushed profusely. "No. I don't."

"Come on. You can tell me." I encouraged her.

But then the bell rang. And I'm really thankful for it. All I'm going to do is stay out of The Grounder’s way and graduate. That would be easy.

* * *

 

I have to say, the education in this school is excellent. No wonder the tuition was so expensive. And the school's cafeteria looked like a mall with different booths: Chinese foods, Japanese foods, Italian, Spanish, and lots of different choices that made my mouth watered just by looking at it.

But the sad thing was, I don't have money to buy all of my favorites so I settled for the cheaper one.

"You're only having that for lunch?" Echo asked beside me.

"I'm not that hungry at all. And these are so expensive." I whispered at her. I can't pretend to her that I'm rich because I'm really not.

"Why didn't you say so? I'm going to buy your lunch right now." Echo said to me.

"No, you don't have to." I said shyly.

"No buts." she countered and she chose different kind of cuisine that made my mouth watered again. I can't wait to eat all of it.

* * *

We chose to sit near the entrance door of the cafeteria because that's the only one vacant at this time. I wanted to go on the second floor part but Echo said that place is for the Grounders exclusively. And as I've said, I don't want to be involved with them.

I enjoyed talking with Echo, she's so nice. Well, at least I have one friend here in this school. But still, I miss my best friend Raven. I wonder what she's doing right now. I have to meet her after class.

We were talking endlessly when Echo stands up, cup on her hand, "I'm going to get a refill." she said, I nodded.

But then the unexpected happened, as she stands up, the entrance door of the cafeteria opened and it bumped into Echo. The remaining juice in her cup spilled on her uniform, and she fell down on the floor in front of the Grounders, who just arrived at the scene. The room felt silent as the spilled juice on Echo’s cup touched Lexa's high-heeled boots.

Oh my god! Fucking trouble. I immediately rushed at Echo's side, trying to stand her up but she just knelt down on her knees, eyes lowered down.

"I'm so sorry." she whispered.

I stared at her in wide shock. She doesn’t have to say sorry to them. She was the one who fell down because Lexa opened the door ruthlessly.

"It's my fault. I'm so clumsy." she said again. I patted her shoulder, soothing her back as she began to cry.

"Stop saying sorry!" Lexa hissed. "I hate clumsy people!" she said in a loud voice making students shivered at the intensity of her voice. Ugh. I hate this she-devil right now! "Now, now. Do you know how expensive this boots are?"

"I know, Commander. I'll buy you a new one." Echo said that made Lexa laugh.

"I bought these in Paris. And they're one of a kind. They are the only ones in this world. How can you buy me a new one?" she asked again.

Echo didn't answer, and I took a glance at her so-called on of a kind boots. And I didn't notice any major spill. Only a tiny bit, and that made my blood boil. This Lexa is so fucking exaggerating!

"Lick it." she said to Echo. "Lick it and I'll forget this ever happened."

I stared at her in wide shock, which was the time Lexa's eyes met mine. I furrowed my eyebrows at her. She was staring back at me. I didn't felt scared. She was not that terrifying.

At the corner of my eye, I saw Echo bent down to lick Lexa's boots. I stopped her. "Don't do that, Echo!" I said in a higher tone that matched Lexa's. I can feel students staring at my back. I don't fucking care anymore. I stand up, facing directly to Lexa. She was way taller than me, and her eyes are piercing to my soul but I didn’t care. So I leaned closer to her, but not too close. "Listen, you she-devil!" I heard Octavia and Anya at the back started to chuckle as I purposely called Lexa in a different name. "Don't be such a baby exaggerating things. That was just a tiny little spill compared to what happened with Echo here. And it's all because of you, you pushed the door not minding everyone that you might bump someone upon entering!"

"Who the fuck is this girl?" she shouted then she turned to me, "Who do you think you are? Don't you know me? Don't you know my name?"  
I laughed at her face, "Oh I know exactly your name is! You're Commander Lexa Woods. The Grounders leader! So what?" I spitted out.

She gave me that devilishly smirk as she touched my cheek, caressing it at first that I shivered at her smooth touch, then her hands went down on my neck, she roughly held my neck forcing me to face her. We were literally staring at each other, and she whispered, "You just saved your friend.” Her green eyes pierced against mine that I fought the urge not to shiver at her voice. “Congratulations. Hope you won't regret it." With that she let go of me making me stumble, and then she went straight to the second floor lounge together with the other three.

"Why did you do that?" Echo hissed behind me.

"What? I did that for you." I said, furrowing my eyebrows.

"You should have let me lick her boots!" she said, upset.

"There's no way I'm letting you do that!"

"You offended Lexa Woods!”

"So what?" I said, unafraid. Actually come to think of it, I just made myself involved with The Grounders. I'm doomed.

"We can't hang out anymore. I'm sorry." she ran away from me. I also noticed that the students were looking at me, shaking their head.

Oh god! Am I really in fucking trouble?

* * *

 

When I went back to my classroom. I noticed that my classmates weren't talking to me, even Echo and even my teacher. When I talked to them, they were just looking at me, not speaking a word. So, I felt like an outsider.

After class, I went straight to my locker and as I opened it, I saw the Grounders Red Tag hanging inside my locker. I'm literally doomed. I felt students crowding my back so I prepared myself. I know what they're planning to do. And so, I closed my locker very slowly and then without turning at my back, I ran as fast as I can.

 

I'm so exhausted when I arrived at my house. I was running endlessly. I can't believe the students were very serious to get me slushed. My mom and dad were in the kitchen discussing financial matters. And so I tiptoed so they can't hear me.

"Oh Clarke, you're here. How's school? Did you met someone rich and beautiful?" my mom asked.

"Seriously mom? That's the first thing you're going to ask me?" I said, irritated.

"Of course honey. That is the reason why we enrolled you in that expensive private school." my dad said.

Oh god, why do I have these kind of parents. I went straight to my room and shut the door.

* * *

 

Next morning, I ate full breakfast to prepare my body for this day. I'm not going to let the Commander wins. I'm going to survive the day and I'm not going to drop out of school just because of them.

When I opened my locker, I saw the Grounder red tag still hanging there. I ignored it. I went straight to my classroom, and just like yesterday, they practically ignored me like I didn't even exist. Even in the cafeteria, they refused to give me food. Good thing, I'm really not that hungry.

As I went out of the cafeteria, three girls slushed me and they laughed at my face. "That's for offending the Commander." they said and I ran straight into the restroom but it was locked. I cursed under my breath. So, with my face and hair covered with slushy, I ran into the fire exit door, and went straight into the rooftop.

I screamed at the top of my voice. "Grounders! You fucking idiots! I'm not going to let you win! I'm Clarke Griffin and I'm going to survive every single day of it! I'm not going to back down at all of you! You started war and I'm going to end it!! THIS IS WAR!!!!"

I panted heavily after I screamed. Well, that made me relaxed a little bit.

"You just disturbed my sleep."

I turned to see Alicia sitting on the floor staring at me. I just know that it's Alicia and not Lexa because even though they looked exactly alike, Alicia looked calm than Lexa's arrogant expression.

"I'm sorry." I said. "For disturbing your sleep."

"It's okay." she stands up and walked closer to me, "Don't worry I'm not going to tell my sister what you screamed just now." she smiled at me, and I have to admit, she's really pretty.

She took out her handkerchief. "You're cute. You shouldn't let yourself be slushed next time." she said and my heart skipped a beat. She is so nice. She is different from her evil twin sister.

"Err. Thanks." I said as I took her handkerchief from her.

"Wait." She didn't give it to me at first, "Let me."

So while she wiped my face, I had the chance to study her face, she's really pretty and her face looks innocent unlike her sister. They have the same plump lips, and gorgeous green eyes but there's something about her that made my heart beats faster.

"It's rude to stare, you know." she whispered that made me blushed.

"Oh… Uhm… I'm not…"

She handed me her handkerchief, "Here, wipe the remaining off your cute face. I have to go now." she said as she walked away.

I watched her and then I said in a higher tone for her to hear me, "Thanks. I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep."

She didn't say anything as she opened the exit door.

I have to calm my beating heart after that encounter.

* * *

 

At the end of the day, I was already fed up with the bullying I received. I can't concentrate with my studies anymore and so I made up my mind. I'm going to get this over with. So I went straight to the Grounders classroom. They have an exclusive classroom, and the room is extraordinary. It looks like a hotel room than a classroom to be exact.

I didn't knock as I opened the room, I saw Octavia sitting at the far end of the room, talking dirty to someone, as I've heard.

She said something like, "Yeah baby. I'm going to make you come at my mouth and we can…"

I snorted in disgust.

Anya takes a picture at herself, making different seductive poses on her iPhone.

Alicia is sleeping on the couch, with her right hand above her head.

And Lexa, the one I was looking for, is sitting beside her sister with a magazine in her hand.

"Hey Lexa!"

I know my voice went louder than it should because Alicia lazily sits up while she rubbed her eyes. For the second time around, I disturbed again her sleep.

I noticed that Octavia stopped talking on her phone, and Anya stopped taking pictures of herself.

"What are you doing here?" Lexa glared at me, she stands up. "Don't you know that you're not allowed to enter here? Who do you think you are?!" she snapped at me.

"Stop your childishness She-Devil! And fight me face to face!" I hissed.

I can see that she is fuming in anger. Well I don't care!

She grabbed my arm so tightly that I winced in pain. But I'm a flexible person and I'm also a badass in my previous school. I knew how to fight. So I grabbed her arm that held mine, twisted it, to make her let go of me. I stepped back, position myself at her, I jumped a little, spin and kick her right in the side of her neck. She fell down. I laughed at her. She stared at me with wide eyes. She didn't stand up. She just stared at me with wide eyes that I laughed at her. "Oh don't be such a baby, Commander. Don't cry." I mocked at her. I noticed Octavia and Anya widened their eyes in shock. They were speechless too, I can tell. Alicia smiled at me and I felt my heart sank. "If you ever stand up there and fight me face to face, I'm just waiting for you outside!"

Then I left the room with a victory smile on my face.

* * *

 

The fourth day of school, nothing's changed but no one dared to bully or slushed me again. I went straight to my locker room, ready to see again the red tag, but when I opened it, the tag was gone. I furrowed my eyebrows. And then Echo approached me and started talking to me again. "Hey. Your Grounder tag was gone. Congratulations. You're the first girl who survived."

"I don't understand."

"The Grounders removed your tag, so it just means, you can live a normal life again in this school. I'm so sorry for not talking to you. I really felt bad but I can't…" she said, lowering her head.

"Don't worry Echo. I'm not mad at you." I said and patted her shoulder.

* * *

 

Echo and I were together again in the cafeteria, when the Grounders arrived again in the scene. To my surprised, Octavia wrapped her arm on my shoulders and pulled me with her. "What the hell?" I hissed at her. I know I shouldn't be disrespectful to any member of the Grounders but I just can't help myself. I looked at Lexa, and she wasn’t looking at me, she was staring at her well-manicured fingernails like they were the most important thing in the world.

"Hey miss feisty! I want you to come have lunch with us. And I don't take no for an answer." Octavia said to me behind my ear.

"Why?" I hissed. Am I in trouble again? I asked myself.

"If she doesn't want to, let her." Lexa said in a bored tone. "She's not that special."

Anya laughed and leaned into me closer, then whispered in my other ear, "That's her way of convincing you to come with us." She said that I gave her an unbelieving look.

They didn't give me time to answer as Anya and Octavia dragged me with them with Alicia following behind us.

 

When we were upstairs, I can't help but be amazed at the place there, it looks like an expensive coffee shop. Octavia motioned me to sit down on the comfortable couch but I insisted to stand up. "What do you want from me?" I said directly at Lexa. "You want to fight me here? Come on! Take a shot!" I gave her my right cheek, motioning her to punch me in my face. Well, I'm not going to let her win, actually I know how to counter that attack.

Lexa just looked at me and said nothing. She sits on the other couch, in front of me, cross-legged, and I can't help but notice her exposed long legs right in front of me that I literally swallowed. Well, I can't let her know that the sight of her affected me.

Thankfully, no one noticed my leering as Octavia pushed me gently on the couch and then sat beside me, "What's your name? I'm Octavia Blake. I'm usually attracted to older women, but I still find you very pretty."

Did she just compliment me? Hmmm. Maybe The Grounders aren't that bad after all, well except for one. And her name is Lexa Woods

"I'm Clarke Griffin." I answered, well if they're getting friendly at me, then I can be nice too. Except for one. As I have previously mentioned.

"Nice name." Anya sat beside me too. "I'm Anya Forrest."

I was about to turned to face Anya when Octavia stopped me, "Don't locked eyes with her. She might get you pregnant." she said and Anya laughed.

"Oh please. She's not even my type. She's blonde like me." Anya said smiling, "And besides she's not here for us. She's here for Lexa."

"Wait, what?" I said, my eyes widen in shock as I stared at Lexa who refused to look at me. They my eyes found Alicia who was now sitting on the couch beside the window. She looks so lonely though. I want to ask her why is she always lonely? But then I have matters to focus on to. "Why am I here for Lexa?"

Lexa stands up, "Oh please. Don't ever think that I like you." she said as she walked towards the window behind Alicia.

"I'm not thinking about that! And I don't even like you too!" I said in a higher tone that she stared back at me.

"How dare you to tell me that you don't like me? You're even lucky that I'm talking to you right now, right this moment!" she walked towards me and leaned closer to me, and I have to admit that her scent is intoxicating. "Do you know how many girls are practically begging for my attention? So, don't expect me to give you my attention!"

I laughed at her. "Oh! That's good! Because I'm not expecting anything!" I growled at her. "I don't even like your hair. I don't like your eyes. I don't like your dress. I don't like your long manicured fingernails. I don't like the WHOLE you!" I said screaming at her. How dare her? She's so fucking arrogant!

Lexa is about to say something when Anya interrupted her. "Oh please. Both of you. Can you just stop making out right now?"

I blushed at what Anya said, I noticed Lexa blushed too. I backed away from her, I didn't notice that we're standing so close with each other. We avoided each other's gaze afterwards.

"Eat." Alicia said behind me as she gave me the food tray in front of my face.

I turned to face her. "Thanks." I fought hard not to blush in front of her when she gave me the sweetest smile.

I heard Lexa mumbled something but I didn't understand any of it. I took a deep breath and start to eat the food Alicia gave to me.

My heart was beating erratically inside my chest as I watched Alicia at the corner of my eye.

* * *

 


	2. Fighting the Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke likes Alicia. 
> 
> Lexa shows 'affection' to Clarke.

Yesterday was weird. Being with the Grounders was weird. And I don’t plan to get involved again with them.

Well… Except for one.

Alicia Woods.

Damn, she is so gorgeous.

I was hoping and praying that I would see her again while I was on my way to the rooftop. My heart was pounding violently inside my chest as I open the door leading to the rooftop.

I felt overjoyed as soon as I saw her on the floor, her forearms covering her eyes. She was probably sleeping again.

As much as I want to talk to her, I don’t want her to get pissed off at me by disturbing her sleep again. With heavy heart, I turned around but then I stopped when I heard her voice.

“You’re here again.”

I turned around and smiled sheepishly. “Hi Alicia. Did I disturb your sleep again? I’m sorry.”

She stood up and walked towards me. She smiled at me. “Don’t worry. I need company anyway. It’s nice to see you again.”

I bit my lip as I tried to calm my heart. I looked away instantly to hide my blush. “Hmmm… you do like hanging out here often?” I asked.

“As a matter of fact, yes. This is my hiding place when I want to spend some time alone.” She replied.

I walked towards the railings with Alicia following behind. “You’re very different with your sister, huh.”

She laughed. “Yes I am.”

I looked at her, furrowing my eyebrows. “She’s so controlling and arrogant and---“

She touched my head making me stop and smiled at me. “Lexa is a kind person too, if you get to know her.” She said softly.

I rolled my eyes that made her chuckle again. “I don’t actually believe you.” I said.

“My sister is fond of you.” She added that made me widen my eyes in disbelief.

“No fucking way!” I crossed my arms. “That’s impossible. She hates me.”

“That is not impossible. You’re very pretty.” She said that made me blush hard.

Oh my god! Alicia Woods just called me pretty!

I was speechless and I could feel my cheeks burning. This is so embarrassing.

I was about to look away when she pulled me towards her and kiss my forehead. I almost passed out when I felt her plump lips against my skin.

“See you next time, Clarke.” She said softly before leaving.

_Did that just happen? Oh my god!_

* * *

 

“Hey Griffin!” Someone called me from behind and I knew exactly whom it belongs to. I was about to literally run away from them but then someone put her arm on my shoulders.

“You’re not running away from us, are you?” Octavia asked, her voice teasing.

“What do you want from me?” I asked defeatedly.

Anya, the owner of the voice who called my name earlier, went beside me and said. “Have lunch with us.” She said.

“No, I’m good.” I answered immediately. Oh boy. Not again.

“Come on. Lexa here wants you to sit with us. Isn’t it Lexa?” Anya asked, her voice teasing.

I was expecting a retort from Lexa but nothing came.

She just walked passed us and headed towards the stairs leading to the second floor of the cafeteria.

“See? She wants you with us. So come on!” It was Octavia’s turn to pull me with her.

I didn’t have any choice and to my disappointment, Alicia wasn’t with them.

When we were upstairs, Octavia forced me to sit beside Lexa on the couch. The she-devil was silent.

She and Anya went to the other side and I was forced to stay with Lexa while the waitress (Yes! They have their own private servers!) served us food.

My stomach grumbled as soon as I saw the variety of mouthwatering foods in front of me. But I didn’t touch any of them because of my pride. I didn’t even want to be here.

“You should eat. Your grumbling stomach is bothering me.” She said that made me glared at her.

“If it bothers you that much, then I should leave.” I was about to stand when she grabbed my wrist.

“Y-you’re not bothering me. Just eat… w-with me.” She said then looked away.

My eyebrows furrowed at her sudden display of…. Kindness?

Well, that’s weird.

I pulled my hand away from her. “Okay.” I sat down again.

Taking a deep sigh, I started to eat.

“Oh my god! This is so delicious! This steak is one of a kind!”

“Don’t you have manners? Don’t talk when your mouth is full.” She reprimanded me but I just ignored her. I don’t care about manners when I’m around her. I don’t even want to impress her. I glared at her and continued to eat.

From the corner of my eye, I knew she was watching me but as I’ve said, I don’t even care.

* * *

 

"The Grounders? Are they really gorgeous and hot?" Raven asked me after I finished my rant about them. I went to the coffee shop she worked part-time just to release my anger towards Lexa Woods. I was really so irritated at her. No, not irritated, I was really mad and pissed at her. She is so arrogant. I don't even like her. Just seeing her, made my blood boils.

After having lunch with the Grounders for a few days now, I had noticed that almost everyone suddenly became nice towards me. The 3 girls who slushed me asked for my forgiveness. My teacher didn't even get angry when I answered her question incorrectly. Everybody wants to be my friends. And it was totally weird.

Lexa always managed to piss me off almost everyday that I wondered why they were still inviting me to have lunch with them. She always comments how I eat, look and dress. I could feel that she loves to humiliate me.

"Hey. I'm asking you. Are the Grounder girls real Hot in person?" she asked me again.

I growled at her. "Are you even paying attention to what I just said?"

"Yeah. I know. You're pissed at Lexa Woods. But I'm asking you, are they really pretty and hot?"

I stopped for a second, and then answered, "Well, I have to admit, they're gorgeous and hot." I said defeatedly.

"Are they single? Who is your type?" Raven asked me.

I blushed at her question as I remembered Alicia Woods. I smiled just by thinking about her. "Well, there's this girl. She was so nice. She is, in fact, the twin sister of the evil Lexa Woods actually. But she's different. I think I have a crush on her." I giggled as I felt butterflies in my stomach as I remembered her wiping my slushed face in the rooftop.

"Lexa's twin sister? Hmmm. So you're admitting to yourself that Lexa Woods is very much gorgeous herself then?"

I hate to admit it but it's true. They are identical twins after all. "Well, yeah. But Alicia is different. She's sweet, soft-spoken and nice unlike Lexa. She kissed me in the forehead once." I said dreamily.

"Oh my god! So you think that this Alicia might like you?" Raven asked and I blushed.

"That's not even possible. I'm way out of her league." I said as I avoided Raven's eyes. I just don't want her to see the small hope in my eyes.

* * *

 

It was getting late and I have to go home, I waved goodbye to my best friend Raven promising her that I will come back tomorrow to visit her again.

As I was on my way home, the coffee shop where Raven works was just a few blocks from my house; someone grabbed me by my waist and covered my mouth that I passed out.

 

* * *

_Where am I?_

I woke up at an unfamiliar place. I felt the pounding of my head as I blinked at the people around me, discussing something about my… my hair? and my dress? What the hell am I doing in this huge place with lots of closets and mirrors? What are they doing to me? They're fixing my hair that I don't even know why. "What am I doing here? What are you doing?" I asked.

"Our Heda wants to see you." she answered.

"Who?" I asked, confused. “Heda? Who is Heda?”

"Just don't ask questions please. Just let us do our thing" she said again.

* * *

 

 

When the makeover was finished, I stared at myself in the full-sized mirror. I looked like a fucking Disney princess and I'm not even exaggerating.

"Miss Griffin, our Heda wants to see you now." An old bald man said. He must be the butler.

I asked again, "Who is Heda?"

But then he didn't answer me; he just motioned me to follow him. He opened the door, and the room itself amazed me, it was so elegant. I stepped inside and the door closed behind me.

"Did you like it?"

I knew that voice. I knew that full-of-confidence voice. I turned around to see her sitting like a Commander in her throne.

"Lexa." I gritted.

She stands up though, and walked towards me, "I have to say, you amazed me. You never mistaken me for my twin sister."

"Oh, I will never have mistaken you for your sister, Lexa." I countered.

"Is that a compliment for me or what?"

"Too bad, it's not!" I hissed.

She just ignored my comment; she walked around me, studying me. "Money really makes a woman beautiful. I'm impressed."

"I don't need this!" I shouted at her.

She stopped in front of me, and pulled me against her, my lips inches away from her face. "Don't you ever talk to me like that! Do you know how many women would die to be in your place?"

I pushed her, "I don’t even want to know! And stop being an arrogant spoiled….”

She walked towards me as I backed away. The next thing I knew, my back was against the wall, her body pressed against mine. "Stop with this nonsense, Clarke. Let’s not go around in circles anymore.” She leaned closer to me and whispered against my ear and it made me shiver at the way she pronounced my name. "I know you want me.”

My eyes widen in shocked. I gasped. "What are you talking about?"

“You want me, Clarke. Say it.” She said, her forest green eyes were full of intensity as she stared back at me.

“What?” I asked again. What the hell!

“You win. I want you too, Clarke.” She said as she leaned closer to me. I can feel her breath against my face that I shivered. She continued, "I'll give you everything you want. Everything. Money, Fame, name it! Just for one night with me."

What? One night with her? Have sex with her? I was speechless. I'm so mad that I can't even speak.

She started to kiss my neck, her tongue licking my bare skin; my mind went blank as I felt her body leaning against mine. Oh no! This is not happening!

Her lips were already on my chin, probably aiming for my lips, but I pushed her so hard. I slapped her right cheek so hard that I swear that it would leave a mark. "I am not a fucking toy, Lexa! You can't buy me!" After I've said that, I ran out of the door but then I stopped. I turned around towards her. "Give me back my clothes! I don't need your money, your gifts and lastly I don't need you!"

I could tell in her eyes that she was completely shocked.

With her hand on her cheek that I previously slapped, she reached out on her phone and said in a very calm manner, "Give the girl her clothes now." she said while staring at me.

With that, I opened the door and get out of her room, hoping I could meet the person that could give back my clothes. The Woods Mansion was so big that if I didn't stay in front of Lexa's room, I might get lost.

_I really fucking hate you, Lexa Woods!_

 

* * *

 

The next day, I opened my locker and prepared myself on what to come. I already knew that I would receive another Grounders red tag because of what I did to Lexa yesterday. But when I opened my locker, there's no red tag present. I took a deep breath. Thank God!

As I entered the classroom, my classmates were busy reading magazines. Echo called me and I walked towards her. "What are you all reading?" I asked.

"Look. Ofelia Salazar, the famous model will come back from Paris after 2 years, she graduated here and we were expecting to see her. I can't wait to see her in person. She's 4 years older than us. I can't wait to meet her. She's so pretty!" Echo said as I looked at the picture. "She continued her studies there even though she's famous here in the States."

I read the article. And I have to admit, she's really very pretty. I admired her instantly.

But then I heard someone at the back, "I heard Alicia and Ofelia have a thing before. I wonder if she came back for our goddess Alicia. They looked perfectly together."

I felt my heart skip a beat. Alicia and this gorgeous girl? I felt my heart ache. So, this is Alicia's type. Very different from me. She has raven, black hair and I'm blonde. I'm white and she has this amazing tan skin. And to top it all, she is famous and rich. I can never be Alicia's type, I thought sadly.

It’s a good thing that the teacher arrived because I need to distract myself. But still, before Echo closed the magazine, I glanced sadly at the picture of the beautiful girl who captured Alicia's heart.

* * *

 

I went to the rooftop hoping to find Alicia there, and I wasn't disappointed. Looking beautiful as ever, Alicia smiled at me when I walked towards her.

"Hi." I greeted her.

"Hi Clarke. Come here."

I walked towards her. I can't help but smile at her serene face. She looks so happy. And I know the reason why.

"You seem happy?" I asked her.

"Yes. I am." she said, then she looked above the sky. "She is coming. I can't wait to see her."

"Who?" I asked, as I acted innocently.

"Ofelia." she leaned towards me and she gave me quick kiss on my forehead. "Wish me luck." she whispered and then walked away.

I smiled even though I was hurting inside. "Good luck." I said softly.

* * *

At lunchtime, I avoided the Grounders like a plague. I don’t want to see Lexa anymore. I was so mad at her that she thought so little of me.

I can’t believe she had the nerve to offer me something like that so she could have her way with me. I hated her so fucking much!

“Hey blondie.” Octavia called out.

I tried to walk away fast and pretend I didn’t hear her. But she caught me anyway. “Why are you running away?” She asked again.

“I don’t want to be involved. Just please leave me alone.” I sighed.

“Look, I’m sorry about yesterday. I didn’t even think that Lexa would take me seriously.” She said, her eyes filled with remorse.

“What?”

She sighed deeply, “I told Lexa yesterday that women wants to be wooed. I just made a joke on how she could make a grand gesture and woo you, sort of. But… you know… things didn’t go as planned.” She scratched her neck, looking guilty.

I furrowed my eyebrows at her. “So you basically told her to kidnap me, take me to her room and offer money so she could get me to bed?” I gritted my teeth.

“Well… sort of… It kinda works with me before so I just made a passing comment. I didn’t even know she would take it. I’m so sorry. This is my entire fault.” Octavia pouted that I almost gave in.

I crossed my arms, “I still hate her.” I said. “And besides, why wasn’t she here and ask for my forgiveness?”

“Well, Lexa is a woman of pride. She won’t admit it but she felt lonely that you didn’t have lunch with us. Besides, you did get your revenge on her right? You gave her an awful mark on her right cheek.” She said, chuckling.

“I won’t apologize for that. She deserved it!” I said.

“Okay. Just… think about it. Lexa likes you. A lot.” She said, her voice teasing.

“I don’t believe that.” I said.

“Lexa is just like that. She is not used in showing her affections to anyone. But she does care for you. You capture her attention.” She said.

“Why me?” I asked begrudgingly.

“Because you were the only one who stood up against her.”

* * *

 


	3. The Other Side Of The Commander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know Lexa and her emotional turmoil when it comes to a certain blonde.

 

 

“Lexa? What happened to your face?” Anya asked me and I looked away.

“It’s nothing.” I said calmly as I stepped out of my car.

“Who did this to you?” She asked again.

I clenched my jaw.

“Who did it? I will personally put the Red Tag in their locker.” Anya said that made me turned towards her.

“NO! Don’t!” I replied almost instantly. Looking away, felt my cheeks burned.

Anya was shocked at first then realization dawned on her face. “Is it the feisty blonde again? Clarke?” I could tell that she was fighting the urge to smile.

My cheeks reddened further in embarrassment. How could I let myself be vulnerable like this over a girl?

“Oh Lexa! What did you do again?” She was laughing now.

I glared at her.

At that moment, Octavia’s car arrived and she stepped out of her car. “What’s funny, Anya?” she asked immediately then she turned her eyes towards me. “What happened to your face?” she asked, bewildered.

I clenched my jaw. “This is all your fault!” I gritted my teeth.

“What?”

“Clarke slapped her. Oh man, that girl is feisty as hell.” Anya said between laughs.

“Why did Clarke slap you that hard leaving a terrible mark?” Octavia asked curiously.

I took a deep breath, looking anywhere but her. “I followed your advice. I made the grand gesture you were talking about with Clarke yesterday and she slapped me right into my face.” I said unemotionally.

“You what? Oh my god! Lexa! That was just a joke! I didn’t know that you will take it seriously, oh god!” Octavia said, laughing.

I glared at the both of them. “You told me to take her, give her nice clothes and then take her to my room. Apparently she was humiliated.”

“Clarke is different, Lexa. Of course she would feel humiliated. I didn’t know that you would actually do that.” Octavia cooed but I rolled my eyes at her.

“Oh my god! This is so funny!” Anya said as she slapped my shoulder. “First, we advised you to compliment Clarke but you couldn’t even do it without humiliating her and now? You seriously took her to your bed?”

I exhaled a deep breath as I remembered how I followed their advices to woo Clarke. They weren’t effective.

“What did you tell her one time?” Octavia laughed and then she mimicked my voice. “Clarke, your hair is nice but you should try to comb your hair once in a while.”

Anya laughed so hard as she clutched her stomach.

“It’s true. Her hair is nice but she should comb it once in a while. I told her the truth. What is wrong with that? I don’t like lying.”

“You can’t say that to a girl, Lexa.”

“So you want me to lie?” I countered.

“Oh god. Just compliment her. Period. Girls want to be complimented every day of their lives.”

“I did!” I said, blushing deeply.

“Oh wow!” Octavia and Anya said in unison. “This is gold.”

“Shut up!” I said and walked away.

Octavia ran behind me. “Just apologized to her, Lex.”

I sighed. “It doesn’t matter. She’s not that special.” I said as I lied between my teeth.

Who am I kidding? Clarke Griffin already grew on me.

* * *

 

"What is taking her so long?" I asked them impatiently.

We were waiting for Ofelia’s arrival at the airport and I was so excited to see her. But my excitement doesn't even match my twin sister's excitement on seeing her first love. Alicia is in love with Ofelia since we were kids. Ofelia is four years older than us but that didn't stop my sister in developing feelings towards her.

I glanced at my sister whom I noticed was fidgeting with her nails. I sat beside her and grabbed her shoulder, "It's okay, Alicia, Don't be nervous. She loves you. She's just waiting for you to say it. So you don't have to be afraid. This is your only chance."

Alicia smiled. "Wish me luck."

I nodded.

But then Octavia walked towards us with an older woman beside her, "Hey sorry I’m late.”

I growled at her, "Octavia, I thought I told you, no girls right of this moment.”

Octavia giggled, "Oh sorry. I just can't help myself; I just met her in the restroom. And she's so fucking hot." I rolled my eyes at her, and then she turned to face the woman, "Sorry honey. I have to be with my friends right now. I'll just call you."

"But you don't even know my number." The older woman pouted.

"I have my ways sweetie. I'll call you okay?" she gave her a full-mouthed kiss then she smacked the woman’s ass before she walked away.

"What was that?" I asked her. "Don't tell me you made out in the restroom?"

Octavia chuckled, "Of course we were, silly. What else would I do inside the restroom with that hot woman?"

"God, you're unbelievable!" I exclaimed.

"Well, at least I'm not a fucking virgin just like you!" she countered.

I glared at her. Anya laughed. They were always like that, making fun of me because I'm still inexperience. It wasn’t my fault that I haven't met the right girl for me. Well actually I met her already but she's…

Anya interrupted my thoughts. "How about Clarke? I bet Lexa's going to lose her virginity with that girl."

“Let’s not talk about her.” I said coldly.

“Oh come on, Lexa. If you could swallow your pride and just apologized to her then…”  
“Ofelia is here!” Alicia stands up and ran gracefully.

We watched her as Ofelia dropped her luggage and wrapped Alicia in her arms. They stood like that for a moment and we decided not to interrupt them for a while.

* * *

 

"Hey!" I called as I approached the two lovebirds in the middle of the airport, "Alicia is not the only one who missed you." They parted apart but Alicia's hand remained on Ofelia’s waist possessively.

"Can I get a hug too?" I grinned. "I looked exactly like Alicia. You could imagine me as her just for a second." I teased and Ofelia smiled widely. She ran into my open arms.

I wrapped her in my arms and heard her chuckling. Then she pulled away, a smile on her face. "Definitely not her.”

"Hey hey! How about us? Didn't you miss us too?" Anya interrupted, pouting her lips.

Ofelia walked towards her and gave her a tight hug. "Are you still the playgirl who doesn't like to be in a relationship?" she asked.

"I have girlfriends, okay?" she rolled her eyes at Ofelia.

"Yeah. One-day girlfriend. Right Lexa?" she glanced at me and I nod my head exaggeratedly.

"Yeah. That's right. She's still a player." I commented.

"I'm not the only one. Octavia is much worst than me." Anya said defensively.

"I guess it's my turn. You know how I like older women." Octavia winked at her that Ofelia punched her in her arm before hugging her tightly.

"I'm not old!" Ofelia said.

"Well, you’re older than me." Octavia replied with a chuckle.

Ofelia quickly ran on Alicia's side and said softly, her eyes teasing. "Look Alicia, Octavia is teasing me." she said as she winked at Octavia.

My sister, being so crazily in love with Ofelia, glared at Octavia, "Stop it. You can't tease Ofelia in front of me."

Octavia laughed as Ofelia stuck her tongue out directly at her. Then Octavia mumbled and smiled. "Totally whipped."

* * *

 

We decided to celebrate Ofelia's comeback in THE ARK. It is one of the famous and expensive restaurants here in LA.

The five of us entered the VIP room. We were on our seat when the owner of the restaurant personally came to greet us. 

“It is our pleasure to have all of you here once again.” Chef Thelonius Jaha greeted us.

“It is nice to see you again, Thelonius.” Ofelia greeted.

“Thank you, Ms. Salazar. We would be happy to serve you. Your private waitress will be here shortly. Just let me know if you need anything.”

I nodded.

Jaha made his exit.

“I hope the waitress is hot.” Octavia commented.

I rolled my eyes. "Haven't you had enough at the airport already? You're like a 'walking sex object'!" I exclaimed at her. Sometimes I'm kind of fed up with her sexcapades. Because to be honest, Octavia couldn't keep her mouth shut when it comes to sex. She absolutely loves teasing me because of my lack of experience.

"Well, at least I'm not a virgin." she countered at me. As I’ve said, the topic still ends with my virginity.

I scoffed at her in response.

Ofelia laughed. "You're still a virgin Lexa? Oh my god!" she said and I blushed in embarrassment.

I rolled my eyes. Yes, I am the only one virgin in the group because Alicia loss her v-card to Ofelia two years ago when they were both drunk. It was a good thing that it didn’t change their friendship. Personally, I think they both are in love with each other but none of them are admitting it with the other. And then Ofelia left and that broke Alicia’s heart.

“Hey. You haven’t met anyone yet?” Ofelia nudged me.

I looked away, “Not yet.”

Ofelia laughed. “Seriously?”

"I can't believe it!" Ofelia chuckled. "So, until now? You haven't had any girlfriend yet.”

Anya answered, "Yeah. No girlfriend since birth. That is our Commander. Hell, she hasn’t experienced her first kiss yet.” She snickered.

I glared at Anya but that had no effect on her as she just laughed continuously.

They were all teasing me when the waitress entered our room. My eyes widened when I saw that it’s Clarke.

I could tell that she was shocked too when she realize that she would be serving us for the night. “Uhmm… Hi! My name is Clarke and I will be your personal waitress for the night.”

“Oh Hi Clarke!” Octavia greeted as she stood up. “What a coincidence. You worked here?”

“Uhmmm. Yes. I worked here part time.” She said as she avoided my eyes.

“Great! Anyway, I want you to meet Ofelia Salazar. Ofelia, this is Clarke Griffin. She is a newcomer in Polis Academy.”

Ofelia stood up and extended her hand, “Hi! Nice to meet you Clarke.”

She took Ofelia’s hand and smiled at her. “It’s nice to meet you, Ofelia.”

“So, you’re friends with The Grounders? That’s new.” Ofelia said. Anya snickered that I looked at her and gave her a warning before she could say something stupid.

Apparently, I failed because that didn’t stop her from commenting. “Well, you could say that. She made an impression on us. Especially here with Lexa.”

I cleared my throat and looked away.

“Can we order now? I’m really famished.” I said in cold voice.

* * *

 

"What was that?" Ofelia teased me as soon as I sat down, "You like that girl!" she exclaimed.

"What? No!" I denied immediately.

"You obviously like her." she said accusingly to me, “I could see it in your eyes whenever you look at her.” She chuckled.

Anya chuckled, "She's totally hooked. We can tell."

"No. I'm not!" I repeated. My cheeks burned.

“Clarke rejected her.” Anya commented and that made me looked dangerously at her.

“Huh? Why?” Ofelia asked, her brows furrowed. “No one rejects the Grounders, from what I’ve heard. Especially the Commander. Everyone loves the Hot Commander.”

“Well apparently, there’s this one feisty girl who isn’t attracted to our very own Commander.” Anya said, smirking at me.

"Oh wow. That’s different. Tell me things about her then. What did she do to capture the attention of Lexa Woods?” Ofelia teasingly asked. I rolled my eyes at them. I refused to answer that question.

"Oh. That's an easy question, Ofelia. That girl, Clarke gave her a spin kick directly into her neck. Similar to her mentor's super kick that she give to her whenever they fight."

I sighed deeply. There it is. The truth slipped. Clarke made an impression on me. No one could do that to me except for Indra, my mentor. The woman who took care of me and my sister more than our own mother.

Ofelia laughed, "Really? Woah! That girl must be feisty as hell then.” she said, applauding.

“You have no idea.” Octavia laughed.

“She’s nice.” Alicia said simply and we all looked at her.

Ofelia turned towards her. “You think so?”

Alicia nodded. “I met her at the rooftop when she was yelling her hate on the Grounders.”

“She talks to you?” I asked, curious.

“Yeah. I consider her as a friend.”

“Then we should invite her to spend time with us then. Or maybe invite her to my party, Alicia.” Ofelia smiled excitedly. “You’re not opposed to that, Lexa, are you?”

I tried to contain my smile. “It’s your party.” I said unemotionally.

“I’ll try.” Alicia nodded.

* * *

 

I stared blankly at the window in my room, my chin rested on my palm; my mind drifted on a certain blonde that really got me interested. There's nothing extraordinary about her looks, I've met hundreds of beautiful woman all over the world ever since I grew up, I even met princesses of different countries but I never find myself getting interested with any of them. Usually, I find them boring as they consistently tried to get my attention. There's nothing interesting about them. I know they just wanted to get me in bed. And that turned me off.

The other girls I met, tried a different tactics with me, they pretended to be shy at first but when Anya forced me to talk to them, or even smiled at them, their shyness disappeared in an instant as they started to touched me in different places I refused to be touched, like my hand, I don't want them to touch my hand. Touching hands is very intimate for me. I know I sound weird but it's just me. It’s the way that I was brought into this world. I only let my friends touched me, like what Octavia did yesterday as she touched the corner of my mouth to remove the smudge of Clarke's pink lip gloss on me.

Which reminds me again to the blonde that kissed me accidentally. Well, it was an accident, I know, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. Her lips were so soft against mine, her breath was minty fresh, her body was so perfect against my own body too as we lay there on the floor. I couldn't help it as I moved my lips against her and nipped on her bottom lip. But then she probably realized what position we were in; she pulled away from me immediately. I certainly want to kiss her again right there.

She was different from the others. I thought she was just putting another tactics at me. She certainly made a lasting impression on me.

Not to mention, she was now my very first kiss.

My fingers automatically touched my lips.

"Penny for your thoughts, Heda?" Titus asked me.

I looked at him and smiled. Titus is one of the few people I smiled at. "I'm thinking about this certain girl…" I started.

"Hmmm. The blonde girl named Clarke?" he asked.

"Yes." I smiled shyly, "But she said she didn't like me, she said I'm evil." I remembered the things she said yesterday towards me. "She said she is in love with someone else." I felt my chest tighten. This is very new to me.

"Heda. She just doesn't even know your good side. You just have to show her that." Titus said.

"I think she is just not into me." I mumbled.

"I bet she likes you too. She doesn't even know that yet. Who wouldn’t like you? You’re rich, beautiful and powerful. Girls from all over the world will be all over you, if given a chance.”

I smiled sadly. "Well apparently, Clarke doesn’t. I wonder who is the person she was in love with…"

Titus exhaled a deep breath. “I know she doesn’t have any girlfriend. I’ve done my own investigation, Heda.”

I looked at her. “You did?”

“She was from a poor family. Her father borrowed a huge amount of loan for her to study in Polis Academy. She is intelligent. She works hard. She doesn’t have any girlfriend, Heda. That, I’m positively sure.”

I was silent for a while.

“Do you like her?”

“I think so. Have you seen her? She’s beautiful.”

“Yes, Heda. Clarke Griffin is certainly beautiful.”

* * *

 


	4. First of Everything

**12 hours ago…**

I couldn't concentrate on my work anymore. My mind and heart was with someone else. That someone else is happily sitting with Ofelia Salazar in her arms. I couldn’t help but be jealous.

Why did she have to be so nice to me? This wouldn’t be so hard if she hadn’t been so nice. And god, she is so gorgeous. As much as I hate to admit, Ofelia and Alicia make so much sense. They look perfect together.

And I just feel… dull… I look ordinary compared to supermodel Ofelia Salazar.

My mind was obviously drifting somewhere that I wasn’t paying attention as I was walking down all the way to the VIP room.

And like the clumsy fool I always am, eventually I crashed into someone. The impact was so huge that we both fell on the floor, with me on top of her.

The person’s arms were on my waist. And to my surprise, my lips were pressed right into the stranger's lips. I was in shocked as I felt soft lips moving against mine. My eyes wide open as I pulled away ready to apologize.

“Oh my god, I’m so sor---- Lexa!”

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

We stared at each other with wide eyes, unable to speak. I was blushing heavily. My arms, on either side of her head, supported my weight. I can feel her arms on my waist pressing me closer to the lower part of her body.

Oh my god!

I can feel my heat against my cheeks. I tried to stifle a moan as my breasts are pressed against hers.

And then someone grabbed me by my shoulders and forced me to stand up, away from Lexa.

The guy in a formal black suit approached Lexa and helped her to stand up, "Are you okay, Heda?" his arms on Lexa's shoulders.

"I'm okay Lincoln.” she said. "And what are you doing here with Nyko?" she said, obviously irritated as she pointed at the guy behind me.

"We are your bodyguards, Heda. Its our duty to follow you wherever you go." the guy Lincoln reasoned out.

She was throwing death glares at them. "What did I tell you before? I don't need bodyguards. I am perfectly capable of protecting myself!"

"It's your mother’s orders." Lincoln replied and bowed his head.

"Fine!" she said then she looked at me. The other bodyguard, Nyko still holding me like a prisoner in both arms. I wriggled with difficulty. "Nyko! Get your hands off her!"

"She attacked you. She might do it again." Nyko said that I rolled my eyes. Why would I do that? He still didn't release me though.

I tried to reason out, "That was an accident! I didn't attack her nor intentionally k-ki…." I trailed off because I felt my cheeks reddened as I recalled what happen seconds ago. That was my first kiss! And it wasn’t even special because I accidentally kissed the person I hated most in this world.

"Nyko. I ordered you to let go of her." she said calmly but still with authority in her voice. Nyko finally followed her orders and released me. Thank god! "Now get the hell out of here. If you insist on following me, make sure I won't see your face." She said again, giving the both of them death glares.

"Of course, Heda." the two bodyguards replied in unison, bowed their head and immediately left.

I let out an exasperating breath.

I looked at Lexa and her green eyes were pinned at me that again, I felt guilty of knocking her on the ground. I couldn't help myself as my eyes went on her plump lips and it only made me blushed profusely as I saw the smudge of my pink lip-gloss on the corner of her mouth.

Neither of us said a word as we just stared at each other for god knows how long when someone cleared her throat behind me. I saw Lexa's gaze shifted from me to that person.

"Lexa, what are you doing here with Clarke? Are you guys making out?" Octavia said that made me turned around to face her.

"No, we're not!" Lexa and I both said that made Octavia burst in laughter.

She walked towards Lexa and pressed her right thumb on the corner of Lexa's mouth wiping the smudge. Fuck!

Without words, she walked towards me and pressed her left thumb on my bottom lip. Then she licked her right thumb first, tasting it, then her left thumb. "The lip-gloss on the corner of your mouth, Lexa, is the same lip-gloss on Clarke's lips. Yeah, of course, you guys weren’t making out." And then she walked away, laughing as the realization of what had happened crashed on both of our faces.

"Shit!" I cursed loudly as I felt my cheeks reddened again. I think my whole face is red now.

Lexa wiped her lips with her pointing finger and… (fuck!), well, I have to admit, it kind of look sexy when she did that.

What was I thinking? Lexa? Hot? NO FUCKING WAY! I hate her.

Lexa’s expression changed, and I couldn’t point out if she was embarrassed or angry, "You just stole my first kiss!" she said accusingly.

"What? Are you serious?" I was Lexa’s first kiss? That is unbelievable! Oh wait! Did she accuse me of doing it on purpose?

"Yeah. You just did! And you have to pay for it!" she said grudgingly.

"That was just an accident! I didn't mean to kiss you!" I screamed at her. Why the fuck would I want to kiss her?!

"Oh come on! You've been wanting to kiss me from the first time we met!" she said, walking towards me and I stepped back, she continued walking towards me that I felt my back against the wall.

"You are crazy! I don't even like you!" I shouted back again. God, I can't believe this woman.

"Oh really? You've been playing hard-to-get ever since. Is this your tactic to get me to become interested towards you?" she pushed again that I rolled my eyes at her. The nerve!

That was it! She already pushed my buttons. I pushed her away and pointed at her chest with my index finger. I continued moving forward while she backed away, her back was pressed against the other side of the wall.

"I don't need your fucking attention, you…" I gritted my teeth and was trying to figure out words from my head, "You arrogant, spoiled brat, unbearable, evil, daughter of Satan! I hate you with all my heart and soul that I can't bear to see your face like everyday! I wouldn’t want to kiss you. I don’t even want you!" I said angrily.

She just stood staring at me, speechless, as I continued pointing at her chest and I swear it hurts because I was using force on it. "If you're the only girl in this planet, I would rather marry a fat, old man with lots of pimples on his face than to be with you! And I’m not even straight!" then I stopped myself from pointing at her and think of her lovely twin sister, Alicia. "Besides, I'm in love with someone else. And that someone is hundred times much nicer than you!" I said and walked away from her.

I hope she got my message. I hope she would stop pestering me.

For the rest of the night, I avoided looking at Lexa with all my strength. I didn’t even accept the huge tip they gave me because I was so pissed off.

I. Hate. Her.

 

* * *

 

The next day, I decided to eat my packed lunch at the rooftop just to avoid Lexa. I don’t want to be involved with them anymore. And I lost my chance with Alicia anyway.

"Can I have some?" It was Alicia's calm voice that made me turned my head. I didn't expect to see her at this time of the day.

I smiled at her and she gave me her sweetest smile. "Don't you have money to spend food in the cafeteria?" I joked.

She ignored my question as she took a glanced at my lunch box. "Home-made food. Nice. I miss this."

"Your mom doesn't cook food for you?" I asked as I gave her my fork and stared at her while she eats. She is so cute.

"She’s usually not home. She travels a lot." then she took a bite again, "This is nice. Your mom made it for you?"

"Yes." I answered and I felt my cheeks blushed as she stared at me. I sighed dreamily. "I'm full. You can have it all." I said, offering my lunch box to her. She took it and ate my remaining food as she smiled.

After she finished eating, she took a gulp at my bottle of water that I felt butterflies in my stomach as we just shared an 'indirect kiss'. "Thanks." she mumbled.

I nod my head and smiled at her.

Alicia is just so breathtakingly gorgeous. She is so not arrogant unlike her evil twin sister.

She stared at the sky that I had the chance to look at her sexy jawline.

After a long pause, she began talking again, "When I was a child, I was always being bullied by my playmates. I was always a loner" She sighed and I listened attentively, "Lexa and I were different in so many ways. She always fights for me, never letting me cry. She studied different fighting techniques, as we grew up so she could protect me. One day, Lexa got sick and I really want to play outside, so I went outside without her, Anya and Octavia were out of the country at that time with their parents. And so I was alone. The kids who bullied me that Lexa fought back took the chance to get even with me. I was bruised and wounded when Ofelia came to my rescue."

I sighed, so this is all about Ofelia. My heart broke again.

Alicia continued, “Ofelia hugged me and let me cry on her shoulders. I felt weak at that time, body and soul. I could never be strong like my twin sister. I could never be friendly like Octavia. I could never have Anya's charisma. But Ofelia told me that I am different than them. And one day, she is going to help me discover it." Alicia turned to face me and smiled. "I grew up falling in love with her, but I was afraid that if I tell her that, she'd ran away from me."

I shook my head, "She would never ran away from you, Alicia."

"I hope you're right. Because I'm planning to tell her my true feelings in her party the day after tomorrow." she patted me in my head, "Come to the party. Ofelia is inviting you." She gave me an invitation card. "Please be there. I would really appreciate it."

She gave me a kiss on my cheek before she stands up and then she walked away.

I couldn’t even say No. Guess I have to watch her proposed to the love of her life then. I sighed.

* * *

 

Glancing up at the clock, I grabbed my backpack and hurriedly ran outside the classroom. I need to meet Raven in 10 minutes.

I was running fast when someone called my name. I turned around just to see the Grounders walking towards me minus Alicia.

"Hey! Why are you running so fast?" Octavia asked. Lexa was behind them, her hands on her pocket as she looked anywhere but me.

I frowned. "I need to go. What do you want?"

"Come with us." Anya said.

Not again! "I can't. I have to go somewhere.”

"At the Ark?" Lexa asked, still avoiding my gaze. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Us, poor people needs job for our daily living. I need to help my friend sell some pastries. So if you'll excuse me, I really have to go." I said.

"Oh come on. We can, in fact, help you with it." Octavia offered, then she looked at Lexa.

"Why do I need your help for?" I asked.

"Well, we're the best when it comes to selling, so… We'll help you if you agree to come with us after you sell all of your pastries." Anya said that got me thinking. I really need to sell all of the pastries Raven and I did. We need money. But I told myself not to be involved with them anymore.

But I will still see them at Ofelia’s party. So there’s no way that I could really avoid them, huh.

"Okay. Deal." I finally said, but then I asked Anya, "Is she coming?" pointing my finger to Lexa.

"Of course she is." Anya chuckled. "So let's go." She grabbed my arm and guided me to the parking lot.

* * *

 

"Oh my god! The Grounders are here?" Raven whispered at me as we went inside the coffee shop. Lexa was looking around her with a frown on her face. Anya was interacting with the other customers. And Octavia was hitting on Raven’s boss.

"Yup. That's Anya," I said, pointing at Anya, "That's Octavia hitting on your boss. And that's… that's Lexa, the evil twin sister of my crush Alicia.”

Raven giggled, "They're HOT!"

I rolled my eyes. "Come on. Let's start working."

Anya walked towards us, "Where are the pastries you baked?"

I handed them the first batch of pastries and smiled. There's no way they're going to sell all of these in one day. But it’s worth a try. "That's just the first batch, you know."

Anya smiled and pinched Raven's cheeks. "You're Raven, right? You're cute."

Oh my god! NO! I grabbed Raven's arm and forced her to face me. "Don't! Don't interlocked eyes with her! She can get you pregnant!"

Anya laughed hard. “You’re funny, Griffin.”

I crossed my arms. “I’m serious. Not her.”

Anya chuckled and then she spoke loudly for everyone to hear. "Hey ladies. If you buy one of these, you can have one kiss from me, Anya Forrest. And one from Octavia Blake." Octavia joined in with her with a smile on her face. "So, are you interested? One pastry, one kiss. You can choose where you want to be kissed ladies." Anya winked to the group of girls at the center.

My eyes widen in shock as the customers ran to buy pastry from us. Unbelievable!

* * *

Anya and Octavia really knew how to sell things because right now, they had nearly sold the whole pastries and it surprised me that the customers asked for more. Also, I knew that they were just using this tactic to kiss lots of girls. And it was so effective. The girls swoon endlessly when their chance of kissing the two gorgeous Grounders are getting near.

They've sold the pastries and we gain a lot of profit. That is the most important thing. Thanks to them.

"That was amazing." Raven said dreamily, her eyes staring at Anya and Octavia.

"Stop staring at them." I slapped her in her arm to distract her. But then as I turned to Raven, I took a glance at Lexa sitting quietly at the corner of the coffee shop with her iced coffee. She immediately avoided my gaze when she noticed that I was looking at her. I have to admit, she is also gorgeous especially with those long eyelashes of hers. And those lips, they were soft and----

"You're staring at Lexa." Raven teased.

I rolled my eyes.. "No, I'm not." I denied.

"Why isn't she joining her fellow Grounders?" Raven asked.

"She is too snob and arrogant for this." I replied as I turned to look at Anya and Octavia again, both are still enjoying flirting with different girls.

Raven handed me one box of pastry, "Here. Give it to her."

I shook my head, "No way! I don't want to." Raven insisted on giving me the box, she forced me to take it.

"Don't be rude, Clarke. Even though she didn’t join her two friends, she participated just by being here. Look at the group of girls who sits next to her. They were secretly taking pictures of her already without her knowing it."

I saw the group of girls Raven was referring to, they were giggling and staring at Lexa. One girl stood up and walked towards Lexa and I saw how Lexa’s left eyebrow raised up at the sight of the girl. She is so intimidating.

I walked towards them knowing that she might scare the girl off.

"Hi, Miss Woods. Can I take a picture of you?" the girl said.

"No." Lexa responded, taking her eyes away from the girl.

I frowned. Why does she have to be like this?

"Come on, Commander. It's just a picture." I said.

She turned to look at me, surprise written all over her face.

"No." she said firmly.

I turned to the girl beside me, "Look, I'm sorry. She is always grumpy. Too bad that her twin sister is not here, she might grant your request, she's much nicer than her, believe me."

The girl just nods her head sadly and I felt bad for her. She walked away slowly.

"Fine! Just one picture!" Lexa said in a higher tone that made the girl turned to face her.

I tried to hide my smile, "Sit beside her. I'll take your picture. Give me your phone." the girl excitedly handed her phone to me and sits beside Lexa. "Move closer to each other." Lexa frowned. "Just a little, okay." The girl moved closer to Lexa. "Okay. 1… 2… Wait Commander, could you please smile a little bit?" Lexa gave me a death glare. "Come on. Smile for me." I urged. "Come on…" Lexa sighed. "Please." then at last, she smiled, CLICK! "Woah! you both look cute! Here." I gave the girl her phone.

"Thank you." she said and then she turned and smiled to Lexa. Lexa just nods her head.

As soon as the girl leaves, I sat at the chair across her table. "Here." I gave her the box of pastry. "This is for granting that girl's request." I said smiling.

"Yeah. By forcing me to grant it." she said giving me that annoying look.

I shrugged and lowered my head, "Thanks." I whispered. "Thanks for this. For you and your friends' help." I looked back at her, and she avoided my eyes.

"You don't have to work like this." Lexa said. "I can lend you money if you badly needed it." I looked at her; we stared at each other's eyes. Is this really Lexa? Of course she is, but I can feel she's different now. Does she have a soft side? She coughed and avoided my eyes, "Besides, my offer still stands." she smirked and I knew exactly what she's referring to.

I glared at her, and then stood up, "You're such a bitch. I would never sell myself to you, Lexa!" I walked away, hating myself in believing that Lexa could change.

* * *

 

 

"Is it gone already? Because there are still a lot of customers who wants more." Octavia said, smiling. "Who would have thought that kissing younger girls made my day? They're all cute."

I smiled, "Thanks for the help. Really."

Anya leaned closer to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, "That's it? You owe us, right? Now, you have to come with us."

Ugh. I forgot. I agreed to go out with them. "O-okay." I said.

Octavia leaned closer to my other side, "Let's go. We're going to the Woods manor."

* * *

 

The Woods Manor was really huge. When I came here first, I didn't notice how huge the place was because I was mad at Lexa. I didn't even notice that they have this huge garden with lots of flowers and an Olympic-sized swimming pool. They're really super rich. And I felt that I don’t belong here.

"Good afternoon, Heda.” the man greeted Lexa as we entered the mansion, "Good to see you again, Ms. Forrest, Ms. Blake." then he looked at me and smiled. He knew me already because he was the same man who gave me back my clothes before when I was sort of kidnapped.

I smiled at him awkwardly.

"Is Alicia here?" Lexa asked.

"No. I think she's still with Ms. Salazar." the man said which made my heart aches a little bit. Of course she's with Ofelia. They love each other. I don't have the right to be upset.

"They're probably preparing for the party. Anyway, Titus could you please prepare the ATVs? We're going to go target shooting." Lexa said.

"Target shooting?" I asked Anya.

"You're going to enjoy it, I promise." she said, grinning.

"I'm going to change." Lexa said as she looked at me then she immediately averted her gaze and went upstairs.

"We have our own rooms here, so is it okay if we changed too?" Anya asked.

"Yeah. No problem." I nod.

"Are you going to be okay here? Or you can come with us?" Octavia offered with that teasing smile of hers. Anya slapped her arm and glared at her. Octavia laughed.

I shook my head, "I'm okay. I'll be fine here."

* * *

 

 

Titus (I remembered his name now) told me to follow him outside. My eyes widen in surprise as soon as I saw the three ATVs Lexa was referring to. Woah! These are amazing! "What do we need these for?" I asked.

"You are all going to the shooting range located at the far end place of the Woods’ property. You need to ride these to get there.”

I nod my head.

"I missed my baby." Octavia came out of the door and hugged one of the ATV.

"Where is Lexa?" Anya asked.

"Heda is coming." Titus said then his eyes darted towards the door. I followed his gaze and there I saw Lexa and my jaw dropped.

She wears a white long sleeved polo with both sleeves folded in her arms, a very-fitted black leather pants and black 2 inches high-heeled boots.

She was beyond gorgeous. I hate that she was breathtakingly gorgeous. Damn her!

Her eyes were on me and I immediately looked away.

_I hate her. I’m not attracted to her. I hate her. She is annoying as hell. I hate her. She is not that gorgeous. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her._

I repeated that mantra inside my head over and over.

"You don't have to hide your leering." Anya whispered into my ear, "She already noticed you seconds ago." she chuckled.

"No, I didn't!" I denied immediately.

"Okay." she said, and then she jumped on her ride and started the engine. "See you there. Let's go Octavia!" she shouted and then Octavia laughed and started her own engine.

I just watched them go impressively and then I realized that they left me here with Lexa. Ugh.

Lexa jumped on her ATV and called my attention, "Let's go." she said to me.

I frowned. There is no way I want to ride with her.

Titus pulled me, "Come on. Heda is waiting for you." he pushed me at the back of Lexa's motorbike. "Ride on." he said. “Here is your helmet, Ms. Griffin.”

I didn’t have a choice but to ride with her. "Okay, okay. You don't have to push me." I told him annoyingly. He just smiled at me.

I hop on behind Lexa and I almost closed my eyes at her scent. Damn her! Why does she have to smell so fucking good?

"Hold me tight." Lexa said.

"I don't want to." I said stubbornly.

"You need to hold me tight because you might fall, Clarke." she said, turning her head to look at me.

"Okay. Okay. Just…" I put my arms around her loosely but then she held the back of my hand to motioned me to hold her tighter. I shivered a little when our hands touched. I ignored it because I think that's just nothing. "You can start the engine now." I said, trying to ignore her hand touching mine.

She let go of my hand as she started the engine and I have to hold onto her tighter to prevent myself from falling down.

_I hate her. I’m not attracted to her. I hate her. She is annoying as hell. I hate her. She is not that gorgeous. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her._

I tried to calm my beating heart for the rest of the ride.

 

* * *

 

 

"It's about time!" Octavia yelled at us, "I thought you're not going to finish making out."

Lexa glared at her. "Stop with the teasing, okay?" she said, "I'm not interested.”

“Oh sure you do.” Octavia countered.

I scowled at the both of them, "Like I'm interested in her? Because I'm not!" I countered back. Who does she think she is? I'm not interested in her either.

"Yeah. Sure." Anya gave a hearty laugh.

Lexa walked away and I walked at the opposite direction.

* * *

 

I was watching Anya and Octavia that I didn't notice that Lexa went to my side and gave me a pistol. "Here. Try shooting that one." She pointed at the target. "Shoot the center." Then she put the earmuffs on me to protect my ears. She placed her own earmuffs and motioned me to fire the gun.

I fired. But then I failed to shoot the target she was referring to.

"I don't know how." I frowned at my unsuccessful attempt.

"That's okay." Anya said, walking towards us. "Lexa will going to teach you. She is quite a champion when it comes to this."

"Turn around." she ordered me, "Look at the target." she said, then she touched my arm softly that I lost my senses, she put her hands on top of mine then I can feel her breathe against my ear, "You aim for the center. Then…" she put her other hand on top of my other hand, and she guided me in firing the gun.

I was surprised that we hit the center of the target. "That was amazing!" I exclaimed. "Thanks." I said and turned my head on the side that my lips brushed on her cheeks, I immediately pulled away as I felt my cheeks reddened. She was shocked too and speechless as she stared back at me.

"Can I join?" My eyes flew open at the sound of that cheerful voice.

"Alicia!” I smiled.

She smiled at me, "Hi Clarke.”

I blushed. She looks so pretty when she smiles. Even though I knew the reason why she smiles a lot recently. One person. Ofelia Salazar.

Lexa walked towards her and put her arms around her twin sister's shoulders. "How is Ofelia?" she asked.

"The usual. She's excited for her party." Alicia answered.

Anya and Octavia walked towards Alicia too.

"So, did you get laid?" Octavia asked boldly which made Alicia blushed. "Come on. You can tell us."

Alicia didn’t answer them. She just smiled and walked towards me. "So, my sister taught you well?"

"Yeah." I nod my head.

"You have the dress for the party?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"Good. Because I bought you one." she handed me the paper bag.

"You don't have to." I shook my head.

"I insist. Ofelia wants you to be there. She told me to give you this dress." Alicia smiled at me.

"Oh. Thanks. Tell her I said thanks." So, this is Ofelia's idea. Okay. It hurts but Ofelia is a pretty nice girl, and they're perfectly made for each other. And she makes Alicia happy. If she's happy then I can be happy too. I smiled at her.

We were distracted by gunshots. Lexa fired three bullets and they all landed bull's eye. I was amazed but I didn't show it to her.

* * *

 

"Clarke! Come here!"

"What?" I yelled in annoyance. I'm not yet finish preparing myself and my mother was already shouting at me. I looked at myself in the mirror. The long white silk dress that Alicia gave me fits perfectly. I looked elegant and pretty. I hoped that Alicia would looked at me differently if she sees me like this, but then I know I can never make her like me because she is so madly in love with Ofelia.

"Clarke! What is taking you so long? Come out of your room now!" my father yelled.

"Hold on for a second!” I shouted back. “Jeez!” I went out of my room and was surprised to see two men waiting for me in the living room. "Who are you?" I asked.

"We are here to pick you up for the party, as ordered by Ms. Woods.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Alicia ordered you to pick me up?"

"Heda Lexa gave us the order." the other guy said.

Lexa? Why would Lexa offered to pick me up?

Then my mother came at my side and whispered to me, "Woods? As in Woods Group of Companies? As in Lexa and Alicia Woods? The two heiress twins?"

"Yes mom." I said in a bored tone. See, that's why I don't want to tell them that I'm going to this special party.

My father yelled in excitement. "What are you still doing here? You have to go now! Miss Woods must be waiting for you!" he pushed me that I want to yell at him but decided not to because it will just ruin my mood, I'll deal with them later.

I gasped in surprise as I saw the shiny black limousine parked at the front of my house.

They opened the door. “Let’s go, Miss Griffin.”

* * *

 


	5. Party For The Rich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke attends Ofelia's birthday and she already feels she doesn't belong there.

 

“This is for you, Miss Clarke.”

“Huh?”

He handed me a mask. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

Of course! It’s a masquerade party.

Sighing deeply, I put on the mask as I walked towards the huge door at the center.

My nerves were already killing me and so the moment I entered the ballroom, I wanted to back out. I certainly do not belong here. I feel like an outsider.

I was about to turn around when someone grabbed my wrist.

“Hey gorgeous.”

It was Octavia’s voice. “Octavia?” I asked.

“Clarke, you look breathtakingly beautiful.” Octavia said with amusement laced in her voice.

I blushed at her compliment. “Thank you.” I replied. “But to be honest, I feel like I don’t belong here.” I whispered.

Octavia chuckled. “Nonsense. Come sit with us. Lexa is already waiting for you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Why would she wait for me? And come to think of it, why did she order someone to pick me up? She shouldn’t---”

Octavia already dragged me towards their table as she replied, “Ask her yourself then.”

“Hi Clarke. It’s nice to see you. You look very beautiful. That dress suits you.” Anya said that made my cheeks red.

"Thanks." I said, awkwardly. "You look pretty too, Anya." I said honestly. Actually, my dress looked simple compared to the Grounders. Even though it's an expensive dress since Alicia bought it, I think I still look odd and plain. I just didn’t have the confidence to wear such an expensive dress unlike the rich and famous Grounders.

And this party? I looked around me. I feel like I don’t belong here.

Then my eyes found Lexa’s. She was wearing a black mask but her green eyes sparkled beautifully against it. We were staring at each other for seconds and I felt my throat went dry. Lexa is really beautiful on the outside. Too bad she’s awful on the inside. Unlike Alicia. Where is she anyway?

Our eyes broke apart when Anya elbowed Lexa. Lexa cleared her throat. I looked away.

“The dress and the mask suit you, Clarke.” She said in a neutral voice. “You should wear that more often.”

Rolling my eyes, I replied. “Jeez! Thanks. But I think this will be the last. I don’t belong here.”

I heard Octavia chuckled behind me as she guided me to my seat right across Lexa who was sitting regally while sipping her wine.

I felt more awkward especially with the intense stare Lexa is giving me. Anya and Octavia excused themselves as soon as I sat down and now I’m stuck with the arrogant Commander of the Grounders. Ugh!

I cleared my throat, “Why did you pick me up? You don’t have to---“

“I’ll do what I want to do, Clarke. No one can stop me.” She said in an arrogant tone. “It’s the least I can do for Ofelia since she invited you to her party.”

“You don’t have to do that next time. I know you hate me.” I said, glaring at her.

“I don’t hate you, Clarke.” She replied. Her eyes trained on my face. My cheeks are already burning. Her stare are quite intimidating.

“Look, I don’t know why you’re so interested with me but I’m----“

She surprised me by standing up, her hand extended for me. “Would you like to dance, Clarke?”

“What? Why?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“Look around.” She said in an icy tone, “People are dancing so we should be dancing too.”

I looked around and noticed that she was right. I was about to say no because I just don’t want to dance with Lexa. Not here. Not ever. But she already took my hand and pulled me up.

“Let us dance, Clarke.” She said in that neutral voice of hers.

I didn’t have a choice so I let her guide me towards the center.

My throat went dry when I felt her hands on my hips. Thank God, she was taller than me so I distracted myself by looking away but her. I just couldn’t stare at her eyes.

My hands are on her shoulders and I could feel her staring at me. I feel so awkward.

The music was so romantic and I just wish that I was dancing with Alicia rather than Lexa. My heart is beating so fast but I know that it’s not because of Lexa. I wanted to imagine myself with Alicia. I know she is in love with someone else but I can’t help it.

I was in my own little daydream with Alicia Woods that I didn’t notice that I leaned into her and hooked my hands at the back of her neck. I heard her inhale sharply but I ignored that as I lean into her more.

"Thank you." I whispered in her ear. I wanted to thank her for this dress she gave me. I wanted to thank her for being so nice to me. I wanted to thank her for making me smile. I wanted to thank her for the tiny conversations we had at the rooftop. I wanted to thank her that I had the chance to meet her.

"You don't have to thank me for picking you up.” She said.

Picking me up? I pulled away from her. Right, this is Lexa, not Alicia. Alicia gave me this dress and Lexa picked me up from my house. "Thanks for the ride." I said, giving her a small smile.

"Don't mention it. I can be nice too if I wanted to." she said in a confident voice which made me frown.

"Yeah right." I scoffed.

Lexa was about to say something back when the music stopped. I pulled away from Lexa.

The lights were turned off except for the spotlight that followed Ofelia and Alicia as they walked towards the center. The guests clapped and I felt my heart ache so badly as I watched them together. They looked so perfectly gorgeous together.

“Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me.” Ofelia said. “Enjoy the party!”

With that, the music resumed. I watched Alicia and Ofelia danced together and my heart broke a million times. I wished I could also make Alicia smile like that. She was smiling like Ofelia is the center of her universe. She was happy. And I shouldn’t feel like this. I should be happy for her.

“Do you not want to dance anymore?” Lexa asked. I turned towards her and shook my head sadly. And then I walked away.

* * *

 

After Lexa and I danced, I went straight to the restroom. I need to breathe. If only Lexa is Alicia then I would probably be happy right now. But sadly, she wasn’t.

I removed my mask when I noticed three girls at my back staring at me on the mirror.

"Yes?" I asked.

"You're not beautiful. You're just a plain, odd blonde." the one with the short red hair said.

I stared back at them. I recognized them actually. They were my schoolmates but I don't remember their names.

"Well, obviously she has ways on how to get our goddess Commander." the curly blonde said.

"What are you talking about?" I said in a higher tone.

"You know exactly what we were talking about. You're trying to steal Commander Lexa Woods from us. You are a social climber bitch!" the curly black hair hissed at me.

"I'm not stealing anyone!" I hissed at them.

"Almost everyone tried to catch Lexa’s attention but no one succeeded, and that will include you!" the red-haired girl reached out for my hair and pulled it that I winced in pain. The black-haired girl threw wine into my face and into my white silk dress.

The curly blonde-haired girl slapped my face so hard that I swear it will going to leave a mark on my face.

 

"STOP THAT!"

The sound of the voice startled us. I saw Ofelia’s eyes widened as she saw me in complete disarray. I knew that my hair was already disheveled and my dress was filled with wine. She pulled me away from them. "I can't believe I've invited monsters in my party. I'm so disappointed.”

The three girls lowered their head, "We're sorry, Miss Salazar."

Ofelia didn't respond, she took my hand and tugged me outside the restroom. We went upstairs and we both entered a large room, which I think was Ofelia's hotel room.

She took a blue dress in her closet and showed it to me. "I'm sorry for what they've done. I can't believe I invited them in my party. I initially thought they were nice."

I shook my head, "It's okay. I really don't belong here. You don't have to lend me your clothes. I could just go home." I said.

"I don't want you to go home yet, Clarke. You're friends with the Grounders so you are now my friend too." she said. "And I will take care of you. So, go to the bathroom and freshened up.”

"But…"

She interrupted me, "No buts. It's an order Clarke." Ofelia said with a smile on her face. I smiled too. She is a nice person. No wonder Alicia fell in love with her.

 

* * *

 

Ofelia and I both went downstairs for the party. Lexa and Alicia approached us and I couldn’t help but feel nervous. Alicia was wearing a beautiful white dress in contrast with Lexa wearing an elegant black dress.

“I was looking for you. I thought you left.” Lexa said, her eyebrows furrowed.

“What happened to your cheek?” Alicia asked and I looked down.

“Apparently Lexa’s admirers don’t want her to give attention to someone else.” Ofelia replied.

“What does that mean?” Lexa’s voice was scary as she asked me directly. I was surprised when Lexa cupped my chin and turned it to the side so she could probably have a better access on my cheeks. “Who did this to you?”

“No one.” I said and removed her hand on my chin as I avoided her gaze.

Lexa gritted her teeth. “Who did this? I could---“

“I’m fine Lexa. Just leave it.” I cut her off. “I don’t want any trouble.”

“Ofelia?” Lexa’s jaw tightened. She looked scary enough to hit someone.

“Please. Don’t make a scene. I’m more than embarrassed enough.” I said sadly.

Alicia patted her sister’s arm and then she offered her hand. “I believe I owe you a dance, Clarke. Would you like to dance with me?” she asked and I felt my heart jumped.

I looked at Ofelia and she smiled and nods her head. “Take care of her, Alicia.” She turned towards Lexa. “And as for you hot-headed Commander, I also believe that you owe the birthday girl a dance?”

* * *

 

Alicia guided me towards the dance floor. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I placed my hands on her shoulders. I was looking at her and she was smiling at me.

“Are you okay, Clarke?” She asked, her voice laced with concern.

“I am fine. Thanks to Ofelia.” I replied softly.

It was like a dream come true. Dancing with Alicia was a dream come true.

"You look very pretty with that dress."

I can feel my cheeks reddened. "I’m sorry that the dress you gave me was ruined. Ofelia lend me this dress.”

“Either way you look gorgeous.” She said that made my heart soar.

I felt guilty that Ofelia was so nice to me but here I am enjoying myself in Alicia’s arms. I couldn’t help it.

"How did you get here? I'm afraid you'll get lost. I wanted to tell Anya to pick you up but Ofelia occupied most of my time by helping her in preparing for this party."

"Your sister ordered someone to picked me up." I said.

"Lexa?" her eyebrows looked confused, "Are you dating?"

I shook my head exaggeratedly, "No! Of course not!"

She chuckled, "you don't have to deny it. I can keep secrets."

I shook my head. "The thought of Lexa and I dating is already sickening.” I don't like her. I don't like her attitude. "To be honest, I don't like your sister. She is so rude, stubborn and arrogant. I won't date someone like her." I said that made Alicia chuckle.

"If you say so." she said.

"I'm serious. I don't like her."

"Okay."

"You don’t believe me."

"I believe you." her eyes were smiling. I smacked her shoulder gently.

"Stop teasing me." I said, pouting.

"I'm not." she said, smiling again.

“Seriously. I’m not attracted to your sister. I kind of like someone.” I said and lowered my head.

“Oh really? Will you tell me who is the lucky girl?” She asked.

I shrugged. “You don’t know her.”

“Okay.” She said. “I won’t push you to tell me. But I want you to know this, that girl must be lucky to have caught your attention. You are amazing, Clarke. You have a kind heart.”

I smiled and tried to hide the sadness in my eyes.

 

* * *

 

The alcohol in this hotel tasted really good as I sipped another from my glass. After the party, I excused myself from them and never came back; I went straight to the bar and ordered myself some drinks just so I could forget what happened in the party. If I could just forget what happened between Ofelia and Alicia, even for just an hour or so.

_I watched as Ofelia blew her birthday candles with Alicia on her side. The look on Alicia’s eyes was filled with love as she cupped Ofelia's chin so she could look at her. Ofelia gave her a heart-warming smile._

_"Thank you, Alicia. For this. For being with me." she said._

_Then the unexpected happened._

_Alicia went down on her knees, small box on her right hand. She opened the box and revealed a very beautiful diamond ring. "Ofelia Salazar. I love you with all my heart, I wanted you the first time I saw you. I wanted you the first time we kissed. I need you in my life. Please don't ever leave me again. I love you Ofelia. Will you marry me?"_

_The last question shocked me even though it was obvious that she will ask her, because she dropped down on her knees in front of everyone._

_Ofelia didn't answer, instead she pulled Alicia with her and kissed her right into her lips. The kiss lasted so long that I have to shut my eyes because the pain in my heart was unbearable._

 

Ofelia was so nice to me, so I really feel guilty that I have special feelings for Alicia. But I couldn’t help myself. You can't just stop your heart from its feelings, right?

I took a gulped again and the alcohol felt good in my system. I felt dizzy. It’s like the whole world is spinning around me.

* * *

 

"Clarke! Wake up!" The person shook my body that I felt the urge to throw up. I covered my hand on my mouth. “Clarke?” The voice said again, lifting my head on the bar counter. With that sudden movement, I couldn't control the urge, making me threw up right in front of the person.

"CLARKE!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!” she said in a panic voice.

"I'm sorry…" I said weakly, but then I threw up again on her.

"Oh my god! Shit! I'm so not going to forgive you for this!" she said again, this time, her voice is really angry. Then I heard her saying, “Gustus! Come here in an instant! Right now! Yeah! Inside the hotel. At the bar! Now!" she said angrily, she must have been talking on her phone.

Few minutes passed, I felt someone pulled me up on their shoulders. I already felt dizzy and so I threw up again.

"Miss Clarke. Don't throw up on my uniform please."

"I'm so sorry." I mumbled.

"We can't take her home like that. Just… Oh my god! I smell so bad! She just ruined my dress! Just bring her upstairs in my penthouse." I heard her say, which in my drunken state; I figured out that it was Lexa's voice.

 

* * *

 

 

I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful face inches from mine. My lips were inches away from her lips. Is this a dream? Because if it is, I don't want to wake up anymore.

Maybe this is a dream. And I'm dreaming about Alicia. It felt so good wrapped in her arms.

I want to kiss her lips. Maybe I could kiss her lips, even just for a peck? She wouldn't know right? As a matter of fact, this is just a dream. There's no way Alicia is here sleeping beside me.

I was about to kiss her lips when her eyes fluttered open. "Clarke…" she said. "You're awake."

My eyes widened in shocked. I closed my eyes abruptly and then opened them again.

Shit! This is not a dream!

And this is Lexa Woods not Alicia Woods.

I pulled away immediately. I blushed at the thought of me trying to kiss her.

She must have noticed the position we were in. Her hands were wrapped around mine, and my right leg wrapped around her lower body. She avoided my gaze. "Uh Clarke …" she said as she stretched her arms and pulled them away from me.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry." I said as I lifted my legs away from her. My cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

Without saying a word, she stood up and makes her way towards the bathroom.

"Shit!" I whispered to myself. "Did she notice me trying to kiss her lips? Oh god! What am I thinking?" I hit my head a couple of times. This is so embarrassing!

* * *

 

 

When she finished using the bathroom, I immediately went inside, trying to avoid her.

I took a shower and tried to remember the events that led me in this place. The events that led me to be in bed cuddling with Lexa.

Oh my god!

NO!

Did we….? NO! NO! NO!

We can’t!!

Please NO!

* * *

 

After an hour of spending time in the bathroom, I decided to come out.

I gripped the towel around my body and tried to look for my clothes, which I couldn’t find.

I heard a sharp intake of breath at the door.

“Clarke. Oh… Uhm… Sorry.”

“TURN AROUND!” I shouted as my cheeks reddened. Lexa just saw me half naked and I am dying of embarrassment.

Lexa turned around immediately.

“Where are my clothes?” I asked.

“Your clothes are in the laundry. Here. I told Gustus to buy something for you to wear.” She said, her voice unsteady.

I walked towards her and took the clothes. “Uhm, thanks.” I blushed.

“Come join me for breakfast if you’re done.”

* * *

 

 

We were eating breakfast together when she spoke for the first time. "Uhmm. Clarke…"

I looked at her, "Yeah?"

"I was just thinking,…" she said as she looked away.

"What is it?" I asked. Oh my god. Did something happened between me and Lexa? Please NO! I blushed again.

“Do you remember what happened last night?”

“No.” I replied. “What happened?”

“You… … … … ” She breathed deeply. “Nothing.”

I nod. I let out an exasperated breath.

And then my eyes glanced towards the clock. It was 10:00 in the morning.

“Oh shit!” I stood up abruptly.

“What?”

“My parents. They must have been worried about me.” I told her.

“I already told them you’re spending the night with me last night.” She said nonchalantly.

“YOU WHAT?” My eyes widened.

She was eating in a slow, regal manner while I gawked at her. “I told your mom you’re with me and they said they feel honored that you were with me.”

“Honored?!” My jaw dropped.

“Yeah. It was her words. She said that I should take care of you and they were fine with it.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know what, don’t listen to them. They don’t know you as much as I do.” I said, annoyed at my parents.

Lexa looked at me, her eyebrows furrowing. “I didn’t do anything, Clarke. I respected you. You were drunk and you threw up on me twice.”

“Yeah, but you undressed me!” I shouted.

I saw Lexa’s cheeks reddened. “Yeah because you were stinking with vomit. And I didn’t look, Clarke. I closed my eyes while I was doing that for you.”

I laughed. “Oh come on, Lexa. I know you. You probably took advantage of me while I was asleep!”

Lexa stood up, she was glaring at me. “You were the one who saw me naked in the bathroom, Clarke. I was in the shower when you came in unceremoniously.”

“I did what?” It was my turn to blush hard. Memories of me coming inside the bathroom and looking at Lexa’s naked body flashed inside my mind. Oh my god. “That was an accident! I didn’t mean to barge in like that. I was nauseated.”

She crossed her arms, her lips turned into a smirk. “And here you told me you didn’t know what happened last night.”

I was speechless.

Lexa looked me up and down, “Your ‘accident’ excuse are really getting rusty, Clarke. You should probably think of something else next time.”

* * *

 


	6. Follow Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke are still awkward with each other. 
> 
> Clarke thinks that she made the right decision in regards to Alicia. Or did she?

 

Lexa and I never talked after that bickering inside her grandiose penthouse. I am still pissed off at her. How dare her to think that? How dare her to think that I INTENTIONALLY kissed her or walked into her naked? Why would I do that? Was she crazy?

I mean, what did I do to deserve this life? What did I do to be stuck with this arrogant mean heiress? What did I do to deserve this kind of attention from her? I don’t even like her!

I never really wanted to be involved with her. I am not even attracted to her that way. I hate her. I hate what she does to all the students in school like she owns them and I hate that she thinks she could buy anyone, especially me.

Looking at the window, I realize that we were already one block away from my house. I turned towards her and spoke, “You can stop here.”

“This isn’t your house, Clarke.” She said simply, not bothering to even look at me.

“Yes, but I don’t want my parents to see you.” I said.

She looked at me and her green eyes pierced into my soul. I didn’t even realize that she was talking. What was she saying?

“Clarke?”

“Woah, what?” I asked. My cheeks flushed.

“We’re here in front of your house.” She replied as she opened her side of the door.

What is she doing?

I grabbed her wrist making her turn towards me. “Don’t!” I glared at her.

She looked at my hand and felt my cheeks burning. Her skin is so soft. I withdrew my hand away immediately.

She sighed. “I want to explain to your parents and tell them that you were safe with me last night.”

I raised my eyebrow at her.

“You were drunk Clarke. You could have done something stupid if you weren’t with me.” She said.

This time, it was my turn to sigh deeply. She was right. I could have confessed my feelings for Alicia and make a fool of myself. That was way much worse than being with Lexa Woods last night. “Okay.”

The door at my side was opened by Gustus. “Ms. Griffin.” He acknowledged me.

“Thank you Gustus.” I smiled.

We were walking towards the front of my house when the door opened revealing my over enthusiastic parents. Ugh!

“Clarke!” My dad called. He was smiling from ear to ear. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. “We were worried about you. It was a good thing that Ms. Woods called us last night.”

“Come in.” Mom opened the door wide for us.

“Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Griffin. I’m Alexandria Woods but you can call me Lexa.” She said in a very formal voice and offered her hand, which my Dad gladly accepted.

“Alexandria, huh?” I reacted.

She nodded. “Yes Clarke.” She said and it really annoys me that she was so polite with my parents like she couldn’t hurt a fly.

My mom shook Lexa’s hand, “What a very respectful woman you are, Lexa. I hope you could teach my daughter some manners.” She said that made me glare at her. Seriously?

“Mom!”

“You do not need to worry, Mrs. Griffin. Clarke is in good hands when she’s with me.” She said and smiled at me. My cheeks blushed furiously. ‘Hands’ really? Ugh!

“Mom! Dad! Lexa is in a rush. I’ll walk her out of the door.” I said immediately as I grabbed Lexa’s arm.

As soon as we’re out of my parent’s earshot, I hissed at her. “Why were you acting like we’re even friends, Alexandria?” I glared at her.

“Lexa. Call me Lexa, Clarke.” She said in a serious tone.

I rolled my eyes. “Fine! Just answer my damn question.”

Lexa just stared at me. “I think it’s time for me to leave. See you at school, Clarke.” She smirked. And that made me speechless. She fucking smirk at me! And it made my heart thumped wildly. What is wrong with me?

Gustus opened the door for her and I just stood there staring at Lexa’s retreating figure.

Before I could turn away, Lexa opened the window of her limousine, “By the way, you shouldn’t drink too much, Clarke. It makes you more annoying.” She said, winking at me.

My jaw dropped. What the hell?

* * *

 

I was walking across the hall when I saw Lexa, Anya and Octavia talking at the corner. I shook my head at their choice of clothes. They were the only ones who don’t wear our private school uniform. I know they own the place but I still think that they should follow the dress code in here. My eyes trailed towards Lexa’s black leather pants. She really has legs for days. And that butt… Oh my god. I blushed at that. I shouldn’t be checking her out. Immediately, I turned around to avoid the Grounders but unluckily for me, I heard Octavia calling me.

“Hey Clarke!”

I turned around. “Yeah?”

“We were waiting for you.” She said, smiling at me.

“Why?” I asked, my eyebrows rose. At the corner of my eye, I saw Lexa walking towards me. My heart beats fast.

“Hello Clarke.”

“Lexa.” I acknowledged, trying to avoid her eyes.

“Have lunch with us.” Anya puts her arms around mine but then Lexa removed Anya’s arms around me.

Anya laughed. “Okay. Sorry Commander.” She raised her arms in mock surrender.

She was still glaring at her when I spoke, “Echo will be waiting for me.”

“Why?” Lexa asked immediately. She was staring at me with those piercing eyes that I felt conscious. She was towering me. “Is she your girlfriend?”

I heard Anya and Octavia as they chuckle. Lexa was still looking at me waiting for my answer. This is so embarrassing.

“It’s none of your business, Lexa.” I retorted.

We were staring at each other that no one wants to back down.

It was a good thing that Octavia interrupted our heated stare. She tugged Lexa and she whispered something to her that I didn’t understand.

“Come Clarke. Let’s have our lunch. I will personally tell Echo that you’re not going to be able to join her for today.” Anya said.

I sighed deeply. “Fine.”

* * *

 

As much as I hate to be with Lexa, eating with the Grounders obviously has its perks. We went to a very fancy restaurant for lunch.

“This is delicious.” I said, obviously enjoying my food. “This is the best food I’ve ever tasted in---“

Lexa was eating quietly and chewing her food in a very sophisticated manner. “You should not speak while you eat, Clarke.”

I rolled my eyes, “Well you should mind your own business, Lexa.”

“Your parents told me that I should teach you manners.” She said calmly.

“Well, don’t believe them.” I glared at her.

“Stop making out in front of the food, both of you.” Anya commented.

“What!?” We both said in unison.

Octavia laughed. “What Anya was saying was that both of you should cut the sexual tension hanging around you.”

“What sexual tension? We don’t have any sexual tension.” I replied in haste. I glared at Lexa who was blushing furiously. What the---

Anya and Octavia couldn’t stop laughing. Lexa was looking away and I found myself blushing too. Damn it!

 

* * *

 

“Where is Alicia?” Anya asked after a while. My ears perked up and I stopped eating.

Octavia shrugged. “She is probably with the bae doing the do. She is her fiancée after all. They must have lots and lots of post engagement sex. Lucky Alicia!” Octavia chuckled. Anya snickered.

“Octavia! We don’t need to discuss my sister’s private… encounters.” Lexa said in a warning voice.

Anya just laughed. “Oh come on Lexa. You don’t have to get jealous to your twin sister. You will have your fair share of…” She looked at me maliciously that made me blushed hard, “private encounters.”

“Enough!” Lexa warned.

Anya raised her hand in mock surrender and that only made Octavia laughed hard.

“How about you, Clarke? Have you had your share of… private encounters?” Octavia mocked that made me glare at her.

I blushed hard and tried to avoid Lexa’s stare.

“Anyway,” Thank God for Anya’s interruption, “I’m happy for Alicia. I didn’t think that Ofelia was going to say yes at that time.”

“Why?” Octavia asked, “We all know they love each other. Ofelia is in love with Alicia too since we were kids. We can see it.”

That hurts. I breathed hard. Alicia and Ofelia are in love with each other since they were kids. Truth really hurts.

“Yeah but Ofelia is still gonna leave right?” Anya replied.

“We don’t know that. Maybe she is going to stay for my sister.” Lexa said softly.

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey Clarke" Echo greeted me with a smile. "Is it true that you were invited to Miss Ofelia Salazar’s party?" she asked.

"Uhh… Yeah." I said. Actually I didn't want them to know that I was invited. So much for keeping it a secret. "How did you know?"

"Well… Well… Well… If it isn't Miss social climber!" a voice in my back said. I recognized that voice. I turned to face the owner of that voice.

As I turned to face her, a slushy hit me right into my face followed by a giggle. "Too bad there will be no Miss Ofelia here to protect you!"

Even with my slushed face, I recognize them as the three girls who hit me at Ofelia's party.

"I want you to get out of the Grounder’s way! You hear me!?" the other girl said.

"Says who?" a different voice said.

I turned around and was relieved a soon as I saw the owner of that voice.

"Miss Alicia!" they gasped.

"If you hurt Clarke one more time, I'm going to make you suffer the consequences." Alicia said in a very authoritative voice that she rarely used.

"Yes. Miss Alicia. We're very sorry." they said and then turned to face me. "We are sorry Clarke. Please forgive us." they said, lowering their head.

I don’t want to cause any problems so I replied, "It's okay." Even they did wrong things with me, I don't want them to get a Grounder red tag. I don't want to be the reason of ruining their education.

Alicia nodded and said, "Then leave. Don't bother Clarke again."

The three girls left in haste.

"I've got to go, Clarke. See you in class." Echo waved goodbye at me.

When they left, I turned to face Alicia, "Hey." I said. "Thanks."

"Let's wash your face first." she started walking and I followed. I can’t help but notice her gloomy expression.

* * *

 

After we went to the restroom to wash my face, Alicia asked me to go with her to the rooftop. She was quiet than normal.

"Hey." I said.

She looked at me and gave me a sad smile. "She didn't accept my proposal." she said in a soft voice.

“Huh?” My eyebrows furrowed. "Ofelia? But I thought…"

"She didn't want me to embarrass myself. After the party, she gave the ring back to me." she said, her eyes misty.

"But why? I thought she loves you?" I asked. I can't see the reason why Ofelia refused Alicia's proposal.

"She wants to continue her Masters in Paris. She will leave me again. She said that I have a life here and she has a life there." Alicia continued as she lifted her head and stared at the sky.

I can't help but to feel hurt just seeing Alicia like this. "I don't understand. She will come back right? Then you should marry then; anyway, you still need to finish your studies. There's still a lot of time." I reasoned out.

"She said she wants to set me free. I'm still young and I can meet someone whom I will fall in love with." she sighed.

"But you love her! I know that she loves you! Why can't you be together?" I said in a higher tone. I can’t understand.

I looked at her; she was quiet for a while. She was so sad that I just want to hug her but I can’t.

“Alicia.”

She exhaled a deep breath and then smiled at me, she stood up. "It's okay. I can live." she said and started to walk away from me. "Thanks for listening Clarke. You're such a good friend."

* * *

 

My hands are cold and clammy. I’m nervous but I want to do this. I need to do this. I might be stupid enough to do this but I need to. Alicia deserved to be happy. Even though it will hurt me as much. This is me being selfless. Loving someone means setting them free to be happy with someone they truly love.

I rang the doorbell once again. There’s no answer. I'm pretty sure this must be the Salazar’s Residence. I was about to ring the doorbell again when the guard opened it. "Yes?" he asked.

"Can I speak with Miss Ofelia Salazar?"

"And you are?"

"She knows me. I'm Clarke Griffin."

"Wait a minute." he said as he closed the gate once again.

After a while, he came back and let me in. "Miss Ofelia is at the pool." He pointed the direction to me.

“Thank you.”

* * *

 

"Clarke!" Ofelia greeted me with a smile. She is wearing a purple two-piece bikini that showed her curves in the right places. Her tan skin is amazing. I was in awe just by looking at her. No wonder Alicia is really into her. She wrapped herself with a robe and walked towards me. "It’s my pleasure to see you again. But what brings you here?"

"I'm sorry for bothering you. But…" I took a deep breath. "I need to tell you something. Something important." This is it. My last chance in being with Alicia is going to end right here.

"I'm listening." she said with a worried look. “What’s wrong? Did someone try to hurt you again?”

My nerves were killing me. I can do this. It’s for the best. "It's about Alicia.” I said.

She urged me to continue as she just nod her head.

"You see.” I swallowed hard. “I met Alicia just recently. We talked with each other and she was really nice to me. She became one of my friends. She is one of the nicest people I met in my entire life. But then, I was wondering what was missing in her life. Why does her smile never reached her eyes? It's like she was always lost in her thoughts, she really looked sad. Until you came back from Paris. And then I noticed her sudden change. You made her life complete, Ofelia. She loves you. And she will always be. Just please don't leave her again. I beg you." I said, trying to fight the urge to cry. "Please accept her proposal. Alicia really loves you. You are her life."

As soon as I finished my speech, I heard a clashing sound. I turned around and saw Alicia staring at me with wide eyes. She wears a two-piece bikini too, with one glass of juice on her right hand, and the other one fell on the floor.

"Alicia!" I said, shocked. She gave me an unbelievable look and walked towards me, grabbing my arm, pulling me away from Ofelia. She grabbed her bathrobe on the table and she was in a rush to get out of here. I’ve never seen Alicia like this before. She is mad at me. I can tell by the way her hands gripped on me tightly.

She put her bathrobe on and went inside her car, “Get inside.” She ordered. And with such an incredible high speed, we left Ofelia's house in an instant.

Alicia drove silently, her eyebrows meeting in the center. She looked so furious. She looks like Lexa, gone was the calm expression on her face. We drove for like 15 minutes and stopped near the park. And then she stepped out of her car and I followed her behind.

She turned to face me, "What were you thinking? Why did you came to Ofelia and begged her to stay?! To stay for me?!" she said, obviously angry.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't…" I stuttered.

"You shouldn't! You have no right to tell her like that! I didn't beg her to stay with me. When she rejected my proposal and stated her reasons, I just kept silent and act like nothing happened. And then you came and begged for me! I felt pathetic."

I can see she was hurting, well I am too. My heart bleeds because I love her and she loves someone else. But I refused to see her sad and not do anything. I want her to be happy. "You and your Woods pride!" I spat out. "If you really love her then make her stay with you or probably follow her in Paris! Just do something, anything! You can’t just give up, Alicia! I know you are hurting deep inside and you just don't want to show it but I can see it in your eyes.” I breathed and then softy said, “And it makes me sad too. I just want you to be happy."

"You don't know me that much, Clarke." she said softly. We were staring at each other and she looked really torn.

I caressed her cheeks. She was looking intently at me. "Probably you're right. I don't know you at all but I can't just stand here watching you drowned yourself with sadness. You can make this right. Just follow your heart… Make her stay. Be happy, Alicia.” I tiptoed and kissed her softly on the cheek.

She hugged me in return. “Thank you Clarke. I’ll try.”

* * *

 

Three days later, I’m with Octavia, Anya and Lexa at the airport as we say our goodbyes to Ofelia. Alicia was nowhere to be found. She didn’t follow my advice.

Ofelia hugged me and whispered at me "Thanks for telling me the truth about Alicia’s feelings. We haven’t talked with each other for a while. She probably hates me now.”

"I'm so sorry, Ofelia. I didn’t mean to….”

She smiled at me, "It's okay. This isn't your fault. This is between me and Alicia.”

I nodded.

Then Ofelia hugged Lexa. "Please take care of Leashy for me."

"I will, Ofelia. Take care of yourself too." Lexa said.

It was Octavia’s turn to hug Ofelia. "Do you really have to go?" she asked.

"I need to do this." Ofelia smiled.

"You don't want to wait for Alicia? She will come. I know." Anya said.

Ofelia shook her head, "Leashy was never late. You know that." then she carried her luggage. "Goodbye." she said, her eyes misty. She turned around and walked towards the departure area.

I turned around to look for a certain brunette. Where the hell is Alicia? She should be here!

"Hey."

“Alicia!” Anya and Octavia exclaimed.

"Where the hell did you go? You're late! Ofelia already left!" I said, pointing at her. I was so disappointed with her. "You should have called her, you should have…" then she presented a paper in front of my face. "What's that?" I asked.

"Plane ticket in Paris." Alicia smiled. "I'm going after her."

Octavia clapped her hands. "That's the way it should be! Now go after your girl!" she said.

Anya hugged Alicia. “You go Champ!”

I was just looking at Alicia intently. She will go. I will never see her again. At that thought, I wanted to cry. I fought back my tears as Alicia leaned towards me and hugged me.

"Thank you." she whispered. "Thanks for telling me I should follow my heart."

I nodded, biting my lips to prevent tears from falling down.

Alicia pulled away from me then hugged her sister. "Thanks Lexa. Thanks for supporting my decision."

Lexa smiled at her sister. "Go be happy."

"Thanks." she said.

Then with a last wave of goodbye, Alicia left.

I forced myself to smile. I did this. I advised her to go. I should be happy.

* * *

 

 

Lexa insisted on driving me home. I don’t want to fight with her so I agreed. We never really talked with each other while on the way home. I was so sad. I wanted to cry.

I didn't even notice that we were already in front of my house.

"You're home." Lexa said.

"What? Oh. Yeah. Thanks." I said, opening her car door.

"Clarke…"

"Yeah?" I asked, my mind still blank.

"Never mind."

"Okay." I said, and then I stepped out of the car.

I was at the doorstep when Lexa called me again.

"Clarke!"

"What?" I shouted back.

"Griffith Park. 5 P.M. Tomorrow!" she shouted as she drove away.

I was confused. "What? What did she say? What about Griffith Park?" I shook my head. Never mind.

With a heavy heart, I walked inside my house.

* * *

 


	7. The Perfect Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa asked Clarke to meet her in a very unusual way but will Clarke be able to go?

It was a rainy Saturday morning when I woke up. I still feel sad that I won’t be able to see Alicia in school everyday but she is happy now and I hope I could see the joy in her eyes again. She is very lucky to find her true love and I just wish her more happiness now that she is with Ofelia.

After moments of staring at the ceiling, I decided to stand up and be more productive. I took a shower and after that, I tried to distract myself by cleaning my room.

“Clarke!” Mom called.

“Yes mom?” I replied.

“We need to go to the grocery store.” She said.

“But it’s raining mom.” I reasoned out. I don’t want to go out.

“We’re out of food. So we need to go.” She said.

“Okay then.” I changed to something warm because I don’t want to get sick.

* * *

 

I spent the whole afternoon doing errands and accompanying my mom so I was really exhausted as soon as we came home. I took a nap for a while and when I woke up it was already 7PM.

“Good thing you’re awake. It’s dinner time sweetie.” Dad said. He was sitting on the couch watching news. “Oh wow! I can’t imagine raining hard in LA. They said there’s a storm. That’s new.”

I sat beside him and watched with him. The reporter said something about Griffith Park and suddenly, my whole body stiffened.

_"Griffith Park. 5 P.M. Tomorrow!" she shouted as she drove away._

Immediately, I stood up. “Fuck!”

“Clarke! Language!” Mom reprimanded me.

Oh my god! Is Lexa still there? I hope she is not crazy enough to meet me there while it’s raining hard right?

“I need to leave mom. I have to go.” I went inside my room to get my winter jacket.

“Where are you going? It’s dangerous out there.” Dad said. “It’s windy, Clarke.”

I already requested an Uber. “I’ll be back soon.”

* * *

 

"Where is she?" I stepped out of the Uber and started looking for Lexa. It's almost 8 and Lexa might have left already if she ever did come here at 5 o’clock. I turned to look around and then I saw her sitting near the bench. Water dripping all over her hair and clothes. Her head is lowered and she looked like a lost child.

Oh my god!

Guilt washed over me as I stared at her figure. Why did she have to wait for me here for 3 hours? Why did she wait for me in the rain? Why?

I walked towards her, with an umbrella on my right hand. As I got near her, I sheltered her with my umbrella. "Lexa.” I whispered softly.

She lifted her head. She was freezing. Her lips were pale. "You came." she softly said. Then she closed her eyes and fell towards me. I caught her just in time, the umbrella falling out of my hand. We were both soaked in the rain.

"Lexa!" I tried to wake her up but she wasn't even responding. "LEXA!!" I shook her body but there was no respond. Shit! I made her sick! This was my fault! Why did she have to wait for me?

With the strength I didn’t know I had, I tried to carry Lexa’s slump figure on my side. I tried to reach my phone inside my pocket so I could request an Uber without making Lexa fall. But to no avail, I dropped the only thing we need to escape this cruel weather. My phone was wet and broken on the ground. Damn it!

* * *

 

We were extremely soaking wet from the rain when I found a fire exit in the Griffith Observatory. We were lucky that it wasn’t locked. I was able to positioned Lexa against the wall and let her sit on the floor.

“Lexa. Stay with me. Wake up. We’re safe.” I told her. I caressed her cheeks and felt that she was burning. Lexa is having a fever. She was pale. “Lexa! Please wake up.”

She opened her eyes and I felt relieved. “I’m cold.” She whispered, her lips trembling.

“Okay.” Oh god, this is awkward.” I opened my arms and hugged her tightly. I put her head on my breast and I heard her sigh. “Lexa, are you feeling warm?”

“Okay.” She replied. She leaned her whole body weight on me.

“Do you have a phone?” I asked. “We need to get out of here.”

There was no reply. She fell asleep on my arms.

Damn it!

* * *

 

I woke up at the sound of Lexa shivering against me. “Lexa? Are you okay?”

She grunted.

I checked her temperature and she was burning up. “Lexa, wake up.”

She was shivering uncontrollably so I hugged her tightly with my arms. After few minutes, I lifted her head. Her eyes were closed and her lips were parted. She looked so innocent without that scowl that was always planted on her beautiful face. Beautiful? Yes, I admit. Lexa Woods is beyond gorgeous. She looked like a goddess or a warrior princess or queen rather. Her jawline is to die for. She is an epitome of perfection. Physically at least. Her attitude, however, says a different story. She is insufferable.

“Clarke…” She opened her eyes and I was met with forest green orbs. I swallowed hard.

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked her softly.

She licked her lips and I had the urge to follow the movement of her tongue. “I’m thirsty, Clarke.” She replied softly.

Her face was inches from me. My eyes were trained on her plump lips. I was mesmerized.

“Clarke…”

“Hmmmm…” I mumbled.

Her lips were a breath away. I didn’t even realize who made the first move because barely a second after, her lips were already pressed against mine.

My eyes fluttered close. Her lips were moving slowly against mine that unconsciously, I opened my mouth. Her tongue didn’t waste any time as it invaded inside my mouth. My whole body weakened and the next thing I know she was lying on top of me on the floor kissing me softly but firm. It felt like I was transported to another world. That her moving lips were the only thing that matters to me.

I responded accordingly. Breathing is getting difficult for me so I pulled away, her lips darted towards my neck instead.

After a few seconds, Lexa’s lips were unmoving against the side of my neck. Her breathing becomes stable and that’s when I realized that she fell asleep on top of me.

Great.

* * *

 

“Clarke. Wake up.”

“Hmmmm…” I mumbled. Someone nudged me on my ribcage but I ignored it. I feel comfortable with my position. I don’t want to open my eyes.

“Clarke.”

“Stop waking me up.” I mumbled. “I’m comfortable.”

I heard a snicker. “So you’re comfortable hugging me? I didn’t know you’re a sucker for cuddles, Clarke.”

“Huh?” Slowly, I opened my eyes and that was when I woke up in horror. Half of my body weight was on top of Lexa. One of my thighs was pinning her on the floor. Her cheeks were red but she had this knowing smirk on her face.

Oh my god.

I pulled away from her immediately.

“I’m so sorry. I swear I didn’t… I didn’t even know how that happened. You were on top of me when I fell asleep. I was…”

She sat up as well. “I was on top of you?” She asked.

“You don’t remember?” I asked, my cheeks reddened as I recalled the kiss we shared.

She shook her head. “What happened?”

I swallowed nervously. “Nothing.” I denied. “You were sick.”

“Huh?” She stood up. “Oh yeah. I was waiting for you for hours in the rain.” Her face looked annoyed. She was glaring at me.

I stood up as well, clearly irritated. “Well, you’re an idiot! You shouldn’t have waited for me!” I glared at her in return.

“I told you to meet me at 5 o’clock!”

I gritted my teeth. “Why would I meet you at 5 o’clock?! And who told you to wait for me for hours! You should have left!”

She moved her jaw and rolled her eyes. “I was asking you for a date!”

“By shouting at me while you drove away?! Is that how you asked for a----….. Wait, what? Was that supposed to be a date? You were asking me for a date? WHY?!”

Her cheeks were red. She turned away and didn’t respond.

But I’m not going to let this one out. “Why, Lexa?! Tell me!” I grabbed her forearm.

“It doesn’t matter!”

I pulled her so she could face me. Her cheeks were like tomato red. She was looking anywhere but me.

“LEXA!” I shouted.

She let out a deep breath. “Fine! I asked you out because I like you, Clarke!” Her green eyes watched me with so much intensity.

“Huh?” I dropped her hand. “Y-you like me?” I was dumbfounded. Lexa likes me? Why? “Why me?” I asked softly.

She stared at me. “I don’t even know why I like you. You are different from all of the girls I’ve met. But there’s something about you that I…” She stepped towards me making me step backwards. My back hit the wall.

“Lexa, don’t…” I whispered.

She placed her hand at the back of my neck. And slowly, she was leaning towards me. I forgot how to breathe. I should resist but I couldn’t move. It felt like my mind left my body.

Her lips were inches away from me when I heard someone opened the exit door. We sprang apart.

“Who are you? Why are you both here?” The guard asked us.

* * *

 

The guard led us outside while mumbling something about teenagers being irresponsible nowadays.

I saw my damaged phone on the ground and picked it up. “Damn it!” I cursed.

“What happened?” Lexa asked.

I turned towards her. “It’s your fault by the way.” I glared at her.

“Why is your clumsiness being my fault?” She asked.

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t have a phone now.” I wanted to cry because I don’t have money to spend for another phone.

“I’ll buy you a new one. That phone was outdated anyway. I’ll buy you the latest one.” She said nonchalantly.

I glared at her. “NO! Don’t buy me anything!”

“Stop being stubborn.” She puts her arms around me while we continued to walk. “I will take care of you, Clarke.”

I pushed her away. “I don’t want to accept anything from you. You can’t buy me with your money, Lexa.”

She sighed. “I’m not buying you with my money. I just want to take care of you. I told you I like you. You should be glad that you caught my interest, Clarke.”

“Oh my god! You are such an insufferable bitch, Lexa! You are so full of yourself!” I stomped my foot while walking away.

“Hey, what is wrong about me?” She asked that I rolled my eyes.

"I don't like your attitude. I fucking hate you being the feared Grounder leader! I don't like it when you're not wearing the school uniform just so, you can show off to everybody every signature clothes you wear! I hate the way you styled your hair. I hate that signature smirk of yours. I hate your controlling attitude towards me… I hate that you think you could buy me with your money…" I breathed. “I just… This isn’t going to work out, Lexa.”

“I can be charming if I wanted to, Clarke. Just give me a chance?” She asked. “I can change.”

I sighed deeply as I shook my head. “I’m in love with someone else.” I stared at her and witnessed the flashes of hurt on her eyes.

“Does this person love you back?” She asked after a while.

I shook my head. “No.”

“Then let me make you forget about this person.” She said softly as she walked towards me. “I would never hurt you, Clarke. I won’t hurt you, I promise.” She lifted my chin so I could meet her eyes.

Green orbs meet blue ones.

I was mesmerized once again.

Her gaze never left mine and then seconds later, I watched her eyes fluttered close.

My heart beats faster than it should as her lips were pressed against mine. It was soft and chaste but I felt my whole body shivered at the kiss.

“Thank you for coming last night.” She softly said as she pulled away.

* * *

 

Lexa was silently driving on our way home while my thoughts were a jumbled mess. Why did I let her kissed me? I told her I’m in love with someone else and that someone else happened to be her twin sister. How can I escape this mess I’ve gotten myself into?

This is so messed up.

I like Alicia but Alicia doesn’t like me in that way. Lexa however admitted that she likes me but I don’t like Lexa in that way.

Ugh! Why me, Lexa? You can have all the girls in the world except for me. But why will you choose me?

“You’re staring.” Lexa commented. Her eyes were glued on the road.

That made my cheeks reddened. “I’m not.” I denied instantly.

“It’s okay, Clarke. You can stare at me all you want.” She said, smirking.

“Why are you so full of yourself?” I said, rolling my eyes.

She took my hand and intertwined it with hers. My heart beats triple fast.

I was waiting for her respond but she just looked at me and smiled then she focused her eyes on the road.

* * *

 

Is it me or I’m just being paranoid? I could feel students staring at me like I am some kind of a piece of meat. I held my backpack firmly as I continued walking on the school grounds, ignoring their stare.

I could hear their cellphone ringing, and after they looked at the messages on their phone, they stared at me as if I'm a prey and they're some kind of a predators waiting for the right time to eat me. It's scary actually.

Echo approached me, and wordlessly, she handed me her phone. I looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. "Just read it." she said, clearly annoyed.

I looked over her phone and my eyes widen in shock as I saw a photo of myself and Lexa with a message, ‘Ordinary blonde student Clarke Griffin, seen with ever gorgeous Grounders Commander, Lexa Woods, sharing a smooch. Does this mean that our well-loved Lexa Woods is now dating the odd looking blonde Lexa? Too bad for us, it seemed like Clarke's tactics to get Lexa finally seems to work out. Bravo for Clarke. Bravo. xoxo -GroundersfanGirl'

"What? This isn't true! We’re not dating!" I yelled. So, this is the reason why I felt like an helpless prey right of this moment. Great, just what I needed.

Echo grabbed my wrist and walked me towards the entrance hall of the school. "See. It's all in the Polis Academy news."

My jaw dropped when I saw the photo in the flat LCD TV screen of the school located in the center of the hall, with the same message. At the bottom of the screen, it says Polis Academy News.

I was speechless. A picture speaks a thousand words. If I’m being honest to myself, the photo looks great and a blush crept on my cheeks.

_OH NO!!_

I heard Octavia's voice getting near. The students split in half just to make a way for the Grounders. Octavia's arms were on Lexa's shoulders while Anya's smile widened. Lexa looked annoyed though. "What?" she snapped.

"Is this true? You and Clarke get it on last Saturday?" Octavia asked, her voice loud enough to be heard by all students nearby.

Lexa looked at the screen, then she met my eyes.

"Come on, Lex. Tell the truth." Anya said, laughing.

Lexa was walking towards me.

"It's not…" I said in a loud voice but then Lexa cuts me off as she placed her arms on my shoulders.

"Yes. It's true. We’re dating." she said, her voice was authoritative. "So listen, all of you. You will respect her as you all respect the Grounders. Do you understand me? Or you'll suffer the consequences. You don't like me when I'm angry."

My eyes widened in shock. What is she talking about?

I was about to speak up and deny everything but she already pulled me away from the crowd, her hands interlaced with mine.

* * *

 

“Why did you say that?” I glared at her. “You can’t just tell people that I’m your girlfriend, Lexa!”

“I just did what I had to do. You’re under my protection now, Clarke. They can’t touch you now that you’re the Commander’s girlfriend. They will make your life living hell if I didn’t announce that you’re mine.” She said calmly.

“What are you talking about?”

“As long as you’re mine, Clarke. No one will dare to touch you, you will graduate in Polis Academy without any problems. Just trust me.” She said, walking towards me.

“But I’m not your girlfriend, Lexa.” I said weakly. Her scent invaded my senses and my eyes were on her lips once again.

“We might as well be now, Clarke. I mean, we already did what normal couples do. We kissed. You saw me naked. We dated. We slept and cuddled together. We---“

“Stop… we can’t Lexa. We just c----…”

Lexa’s lips were already pressed against mine and I couldn’t even have the power to push her away.

Her kiss makes me weak. My knees buckled that made me hold on to her tightly. At that, she deepened the kiss and I found myself responding in abandonment.

This is not supposed to happen.

Things will just get messy.

We were both breathless when we heard the bell rang. She pulled away from me. "You have to go to class now, Clarke."

"What?" I asked, my mind still in haze. I stared at her red plump lips.

"As much as I wanted to devour your lips, I don't want to be the reason of you being late." she said as she stared deeply into my eyes. She smiled. Stoic Lexa Woods smiling? This is insane!

I think I'm not used to her smiling at me like that. It's kind of… I don't know. I find her cute when she does that. Damn.

"Uhmmm. I guess, you're right…" I said, moving away from her.

But then her sudden movement surprised me once again, she held my hand and intertwined it with hers. "I will walk you to your classroom."

I pulled my hand, but she held it firmly, "You don't have to," I said.

"I want to." she said and pulled my hand again then she placed it on her lips, she kissed it softly. "Don't be stubborn Clarke. I told you I will take care of you." she said again.

That sensation in my hand rendered me speechless again as she tugged me out of the room.

* * *

 


	8. My Girlfriend?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is very persistent in winning Clarke's heart. Clarke is still confused.

Lexa insisted to walk with me, she was holding my hand firmly and I could feel my cheeks burning. What have I gotten myself into? Lexa is not my girlfriend. I don’t want to be her girlfriend.

 

“We have to talk about this later, Lexa.” I mumbled.

 

“Yes. Whatever you want, Clarke.” She replied coolly.

 

“Lexa!” I hissed. “I’m serious. This is not what I’ve signed for.” I said, glaring at the side of her face. She stopped walking and turned towards me. Her green eyes pierced into mine. “I just want to graduate peacefully, Lexa. Having you around me will just create problems----“

 

"Hey Clarke. Have you done your homework? You can copy mine." One of the students interrupted us. She was smiling at me like we were long time friends. I don’t even know her name. 

 

Lexa turned. "You didn't do your homework? Why you didn't say so?"

 

"I'm finished with all of them.” I told Lexa. “Thanks anyway.” I turned towards the unknown girl.

 

Lexa squeezed my hand, "Okay then."

 

I was confused as we walked towards the crowd of students. They were all smiling at me and greeted me like we knew each other all along. I recognized some of the faces. They were the ones who treated me like shit when I received a Grounder red tag. This is new.

 

"So, we're here." Lexa whispered softly, “I’ll see you after class Clarke.” Then she kissed my cheek, which made me blush.

 

* * *

 

 

Class is finally over and I left the room fast enough to avoid my classmates. They were giving me weird vibes. They were suddenly very nice to me and one student told me I was being envied by lots and lots of girls. It was frustrating. It also seems fake. I don’t trust them enough because they were the first ones who made my life a living hell before. I also don’t want to be the center of attention. I just want to graduate peacefully.

 

“Clarke.”

 

Shit!

 

Lexa was in front of me now and there was no way I could avoid her.

 

 

I pulled her towards an empty classroom, away from the students. "You have so much explaining to do!" I hissed.

 

"What?" She asked.

 

"My classmates won't stop asking questions about us! This is all your fault!" I hissed again.

 

"Well then, answer them." She smirked. Commander Lexa Woods fucking smirked sexily at me and she looks so damn… gorge… INFURIATING!

 

"What will I tell them?" I rolled my eyes and looked away, tried to avoid staring at her gorgeous face. Wait, what?! Damn! She is just really beautiful okay. I can’t deny that fact. Lexa Woods is an annoying goddess. 

 

"The truth." She answered.

 

I looked back at her. "The truth?! The truth is, we're not really girlfriends Lexa!"

 

She frowned at me. "You're my girlfriend now."

 

"I didn't even say yes!" I told her. See? She is really annoying. 

 

"What do you not like about me?" She asked. For a second, I saw flashes of hurt in her eyes and then, "I'm hot, gorgeous, rich…"

 

Oh boy! I rolled my eyes and cuts her off, "You made my life a living hell when you decided to give me that fucking Red tag! You insulted me a lot of times. You are the most annoying person I’ve ever met in my entire life.” She was looking at me with so much intensity that I stopped talking. I breathed out. “Lexa please.”

 

“I like you.” She said softly. Her eyes were beautiful shades of green. “I can change for you, Clarke.” She said in a very soft voice.

 

Grounder Commander Lexa Woods confessed her feelings for me and I don’t even know what to feel.

 

But I’m not ready… yet.

 

Taking a deep breath, I said. "Lexa, this isn't going to work out. I can’t promise anything."

 

Lexa nods, hurt flashed in her eyes that I felt completely guilty. I never intended to hurt her. “Just let me protect you. You need my protection. I’ll give it to you without asking for an exchange.”

 

Oh god.

 

I swallowed hard. “You don’t have to do that.”

 

“I want to. Just let me, Clarke.” She said softly.

 

I found myself nodding. This is really getting difficult for me. I don’t want to hurt Lexa.

 

"Lex…" I began, but then my phone rang. I saw the caller ID and answered it immediately. "Yes Raven? I'm going home now. I'll meet you there.” I ended the call."I really need to go now." I told Lexa.

 

She nods. "I could bring you home."

 

I shook my head, "I really want to be alone right now. Just to think about things, you know." I told her, my voice pleading.

 

"Okay…" She said then walked away.

 

I watched her leave and somehow I felt my heart constricted in pain. Why am I feeling like this?

 

* * *

 

"You mean, Commander Hotstuff wants you to be her girlfriend?" Raven asked me, wide-eyed.

 

"Yes. And I'm confused right now." I said. “Commander Hotstuff really?” I rolled my eyes.

 

“Yes, Clarke. Commander Hotstuff is a really gorgeous goddess and you have to admit that to yourself.” She said, glaring at me. I glared back at her. "And you're confused because you’re still thinking about your sweet and kind-hearted Alicia?" She shrugged her shoulders. “To be honest, I don’t get it why you rather choose Alicia. She seems so boring to be with. She doesn’t have the hotness that seems to surround Lexa in all her sexiness glory.”

 

That seems to make me think. Alicia and Lexa are twins but they are so much different. Alicia has its own appeal but if I’m really being honest with myself, Lexa is the hotter one, I guess. But I won’t admit that. “Alicia is different from Lexa but she has her own appeal.”

 

“Yes. But you can’t have Alicia, Clarke. She is in love with someone and you have to accept that. Lexa is very much available and she is into you, Clarke. You have to think about it. You didn’t lose anything. You gain so much more. Personally, I’m all for Team Lexa. I would even wear a t-shirt with Team Lexa on it.” She smiled proudly.

 

That made me laugh. “You’re crazy, Reyes.”

 

She laughed too. “But you do know that I’m telling the truth. Give Commander Hotstuff a chance. You might regret it if you didn’t.”

 

I shook my head, "It's not about that. I think it will be so unfair for Lexa if I choose her just because she look exactly like her sister.”

 

Raven raised her hands, “All I’m saying is give Lexa a chance to prove herself. If it’s really not meant to be, then it’s not. At least you don’t have any regrets. Think about it, Clarke.”

 

* * *

 

 

Raven’s words were imprinted on my mind as I went home.

 

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as soon as I heard noises inside our house. It seems like we have a visitor. I unlocked the door with my key and was surprised as soon as I saw Lexa sitting on our small-sized couch, currently laughing with my parents.

 

That’s odd. I couldn’t even believe Lexa is capable of laughing behind that stoic appearance of hers.

 

"Lexa! What are you doing here?" I asked, my eyebrows raised.

 

Mom walked towards me and smacked me on my arm, "That's not the way to treat your girlfriend!"

 

My eyes widen in shock as I heard my mom, "She's not my…!”

 

My dad spoke, "You didn't tell us that you have a girlfriend already. How could you… we are your parents Clarkey… You should have told us."

 

"Dad! I'm not her…"

 

But Lexa cuts me off, "Thank you for your heart-whelming welcome Mr. and Mrs. Griffin. I think I should go now." she said as she stands up.

 

My mom spoke, "Leaving already? Please join us for dinner.”

 

“Uhm…”

 

Clearly annoyed and confused of what was happening, I pulled Lexa’s arm, “I just need to talk to Lexa.” I announced.

 

As soon as we were alone in the confined of my room, I dropped her arm and turned to face her.

 

"What were you thinking? Why did you come over here?" I snapped.

 

Lexa replied. "I want to show responsibility, Clarke. I’ve decided to tell your parents that nothing happened between us in the hotel, because I respected you. And I want to show them my clear intentions towards you." she said calmly.

 

“Clear intentions? Is that what this is?” I asked. My heart beats so fast.

 

She cupped my chin, and made me look deeply in her eyes, "I like you Clarke. I really really like you. I won’t give up. You can say no every single time but I still wont give up. I came here to show you and your parents that I’m really serious about you. You are the first girl that I’ve ever liked, Clarke. I can’t give up now. I want you.”

 

I swallowed a lump in my throat. Her words made my knees weak. For the first time ever, I was speechless.

 

“I will respect you Clarke. I won’t kiss you or even touch you unless you want me to. I know you think of me as an asshole that made your life a living hell before but I want you to know that if you said yes to me as my girlfriend, I would give everything just to make you happy.” She leaned into me and kissed my right cheek. “I’m yours, Clarke. And someday you will be mine.” And then she pulled away. "See you tomorrow.” She said then winked at me.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day, I was surprised to see the Grounders minus Alicia of course, were wearing our school uniform. They wore the same uniform but their sleeves were folded in half, two buttons opened exposing their cleavage and really short skirts. They made our private school uniform a fashion trend. Octavia was smirking at me while Anya looks really annoyed. Lexa smiled at me and that made me blush hard.

 

The three of them approached me and it was Anya who spoke first, “I hope you know that you’re the reason I have to wear this stupid uniform.” She mumbled annoyingly.

 

“Huh? Me?”

 

Octavia laughed, “Yes, princess. Apparently, you told Commander Heart Eyes here that you hated us for not wearing uniforms.”

 

“Enough.” Lexa said in an authoritative voice that was meant to shut Octavia up but the latter just laughed and mumbled something about being ‘whipped’.

 

Lexa walked towards me. “I’ll walk you to class?”

 

Anya and Octavia continued their teasing and that made Lexa’s cheeks reddened like tomato. She glared at them one more time before she held my hand and walked away.

 

“You don’t have to do this, Lexa.” I mumbled shyly. Her cleavage was really a sight to behold. So I tried so hard to look away.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You don’t have to change for me.” I replied.

 

“I wanted to Clarke. I wanted to.” She replied and smiled at me.

 

“I can’t promise anything, Lexa.” I told her again.

 

“I know.” She said softly and then squeezed my hand.

 

* * *

 

 

“She’s just an ordinary blonde. I don’t know how she got the Commander’s attention. She is not even pretty!”

 

“Oh yeah. She looks poor too. She doesn’t belong here!”

 

“She looks like a lowlife bitch too! I hate her!”

 

“Lexa will get tired of her, I’m sure of that. She just played her cards right to capture the Commander’s attention. But once Lexa got tired of her, she will just drop her like a hot potato.”

 

“For a moment, I feel pity but nah. I really don’t. She doesn’t deserved Lexa. She doesn’t even deserved to be here.” 

 

“They do not look good together! I hope they break up. I want my Lexa to be single again so that I could have my chance!”

 

“Your Lexa?”

 

“Yes, bitch! My Lexa!”

 

“Lexa is mine!”

 

As soon as the voices started to fade, I went out of the bathroom stall and looked at myself in the mirror while I washed my hands.

 

Do I really look ordinary compared to Lexa? My self-confidence started to waver. Those mean girls’ words hurt so much but somehow it was true. I’m just a poor ordinary blonde and I really don’t belong here. Lexa probably will get tired of me in the long run. Maybe Lexa just loves the challenge. She would probably just leave me after she was done with me. And that thought hurts me so much.

 

Maybe I shouldn’t be that attached to her. Maybe involving myself with Lexa is really a mistake I can’t afford to have.

 

* * *

 

As soon as the bell rang, I stood up to fix my backpack when Echo approached me. Ever since I became associated with the Grounders, we haven't really hanged out.

 

"Hey Clarke, how are you?" she said.

 

“I’m good. It had been a long time since we hanged out, huh?”

 

Echo looked away, “Yeah, you were kinda busy. Anyway, I need a favor to ask. If it's okay with you?"

 

"Sure, What is it? I have to make it up to you, I guess." I smiled at her.

 

"I have this… uhm… date. And I want to ask if you could come along with me?" she asked.

 

"A Date? But why do you need me for?"

 

"I just… uhm… I just need someone to come along with me. It's kind of a blind date. So… uhm please Clarke?"

 

"When?"

 

"Tonight." she said, "Please…"

 

I nod my head. "Okay. Where?"

 

"7 P.M. At Mt. Weather Bar. Can you help me choose a dress at my house? I want to look good for my date."

 

"Okay." I said.

 

“See you later Clarke.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

I arrived 7:30 P.M. at Mt. Weather Bar. After helping Echo with her dress, I went home to change.

 

I looked around trying to find Echo, I know I'm late but she should be here right now. I'm not supposed to be late but it wasn’t easy to get away from Lexa. I remembered our last conversation on the phone.

 

_"Where are you?"_

 

_"I'm with Raven." I lied. I didn’t know why I lied but I just felt the need to._

 

_"I called you for like seven times. It went straight to voicemail. I was worried, Clarke." she said._

 

_"I'm fine Lexa. Raven is with me, we were hanging out."_

 

_"Where are you? I want to see you." she said, her voice soft that I felt guilty all of a sudden._

 

_"Not now please. I’m busy." I plead. I do not want to see her yet. The conversations that I heard in the restroom were still fresh inside my mind. Lexa will grow tired of me. There is no need for me to get attached with any of the Grounders even Alicia. I do not belong in their society._

 

_"Busy for what?" she asked._

 

_"I'm helping her decorate her house." I lied again._

 

_"Can I come over?"_

 

_"No!" I answered immediately._

 

_"Why?"_

 

_I took a deep breath. "Lexa. Can we just… Can you just give me time to breathe? I mean, I want to be with Raven right now, and you can't just barge in here."_

 

_I heard her take a deep breath. "Raven is just your best friend right?"_

 

_"Yeah. Of course."_

 

_"There's no reason for me to get jealous?" she said that I shook my head. Now she was really acting like a possessive girlfriend._

 

_"She is just my best friend." I emphasized the word._

 

_"Okay.” She breathed, “Okay. I just thought that…" She trailed off and then continued, "I mean, I thought we could hang out today. But then you have other plans."_

 

_I felt guilty, "Maybe next time."_

 

_"Okay. Take care, Clarke." she said, her voice dripping with sadness._

 

_"Okay. Bye." I said then I ended the call. I took a deep breath. I felt so bad for lying._

 

* * *

 

"Clarke!"

 

I turned around to see Echo at the corner of the bar. I walked towards her. "Hi. Sorry for being late."

 

"It's okay. Now come sit with us." Echo said excitedly.

 

When I sat beside her, I noticed that we had company. A girl and a boy. I looked at Echo and asked her with my eyes.

 

Echo ignored my stares and said excitedly, "This is Ontari, my date. And this is her cousin, Roan.”

 

Roan looked at me and smiled. I smiled at him because I don’t want to be rude. “I'm Clarke Griffin."

 

"So, as I was saying. Clarke here is single. And I think she is a great match to your cousin." Echo said that made my eyebrows furrowed.

 

She just said that I'm single, well technically, yes but wait. She knew that I'm in a relationship with Lexa. It was all over the school newspaper. So why would she match me with someone else? And a guy? Really?

 

“You are right. She is beautiful.” Roan replied as he looked at me like I’m a piece of meat.

 

I stood up, feeling uncomfortable. "Excuse me, can I talk to you for a sec, Echo?” Echo stood up and once we were out of earshot, I turned towards her, “What were you thinking? Why are you setting me up all of a sudden?”

 

"Are you in love with Lexa?" she asked. “I thought you hated her. Did you forget that she gave you a red tag? That she would have been the reason that you would get kicked out of school if you didn’t fight? Lexa is not good for you, Clarke. You should know that by now.”

 

Echo was looking at me; her stare was so intense that I have to look away.When I didn’t answer, she continued, "Do you want to be in her world? She's famous, she's rich. She's very beautiful that all of the girls want to be with her. She can make straight girls go gay for her, Clarke. Are you prepared for that? Are you prepared to challenge every single one of them just so, you can have Lexa all by yourself? How sure are you that she won’t get tired of you? Before that happens, I would advice you to keep away from them." She handed me a wine glass.

 

I accepted it. "I don't know. Maybe I'm not up for that." It’s the truth. I mean I'm just a pauper and she's a princess. I'm just a slave and she's the master. I'm poor and she's like super rich. I can never be a great match for her. Again, I took another gulped.

 

I finished the drink that Echo handed to me. I felt myself becoming tipsy but I refused to believe that I'm drunk because I only had one glass.

 

“Cheers, Clarke.” Echo said, smirking at me.

 

Before I knew it, I was being dragged in the middle of the dance floor.

 

* * *

 

 

My head was spinning as I tried to open my eyes. The bright light coming from the window hurt my eyes even more. I never opened my window like this; maybe mom opened it up for me.

 

With my eyes closed, I stood up and walked towards the window to close the curtain. Finally, I opened my eyes fully and I gasped in horror when I realized that I'm naked. I’m really fucking naked! HOW?!

 

I looked around and realized that this wasn't my room. I’m in a cheap motel.

 

Immediately, I grabbed the sheets and wrapped it around my body. My heart was pounding as I tried to remember what happened last night. I start to look around me and then I noticed a letter at the table and my eyes went wide in shock as I reached out and read it.

 

**'Thanks for the wonderful night, Clarke. I won't forget this. Call me. xxx-xxx-xxxx -Roan'**

 

Oh shit! I slept with Roan? Oh god! What happened? Why can't I remember?

 

I reached out for my phone, and read the text from my mom.

 

It says: **'Okay, Clarke. Hope you enjoy the night with Lexa.'**

 

What was she talking about? I haven't text her, right? I scrolled into my sent items and there it was, **'Mom, I'm not coming home tonight. I'm with Lexa. I'm spending the night with her.'**

 

Oh fuck! Did I really text her that? Why would I lie to my mom?

 

My phone rang, it's Lexa! My heart beats fast. I panicked. Nevertheless, I answered it.

 

"Good morning, Clarke." she said cheerfully.

 

"Good morning." I said, my heart pounding.

 

"I'm coming over now to your house." she said that I panicked even more.

 

"Oh. Don’t! Not now please. I slept with Raven. I'm not home." I said, wincing at my own words.

 

"You slept with Raven?" her voice rose.

 

"No! Not that! I'm always sleeping at Raven’s house. I mean we're best friends. and…"

 

"Okay. I believe you.” Lexa said after a while. "Guess I'll see you at school?"

 

I exhaled a deep breath. "Yeah. See you."

 

"Bye Clarke."

 

"Yeah. Bye." I said. Then I ended the call. God, I feel so guilty! I just slept with another guy.” How could I even explain this if she finds out?

 

* * *

 

 

My mind was in deep thought as I entered the school premises. I want to remember what exactly happened last night. I mean, I can't feel anything. I don't remember anything. I am a virgin so I should know if something did happen, right? I don’t feel anything except for my pounding head. Did I really sleep with Roan? All evidence pointed at that but I still don’t believe it. All I remembered was drinking and lots of dancing. But how did I end up naked in a motel room with Roan’s note saying what happened last night was wonderful? Did I really sleep with him? Or someone just formulated a bad joke at me. I have to talk to Echo. I need to find her.

 

As I walked down the hall, I suddenly feel students staring at me again, but this time, they were obvious of their glaring. What the hell is wrong with them? What did I do this time?

 

"You bitch!" One student said, approaching me.

 

"What?" I asked innocently.

 

The other girl dragged me by my arm and pulled me with her. Then they pushed me at the center of the hall in front of the flat screen TV.

 

My anger rose as I glared at them, "Wha---" but then I was face to face with the school TV.

 

My jaw dropped, I was so shocked and speechless as I saw the posted picture. Me and Roan. Naked in the very motel room I just woke up to this morning. We were asleep next to each other, He was cuddling me. We were covered in sheets but our shoulders were bare, so you can imagine us being naked under it. Somebody took a picture of us naked. I am being framed up.

 

"You worthless whore!" One of the girls hissed. "Can you explain this to us, huh?"

 

In mere seconds, I was being surrounded by angry students. They were crowding me and I felt suffocated.

 

"I didn't do anything!" I told them.

 

"Playing virgin, huh? You're little games were over, Griffin."

 

"How could you do this to Lexa?!" The other girl walked towards me and grabbed the lapel of my uniform.

 

 

"What is happening here?" I heard Lexa's voice and I closed my eyes, praying that she would believe me.

 

The girl let go of me; she smirked and whispered, "Now, The Commander will see what kind of girl you are!"

 

"Clarke… I've been looking all over for you… What---?" Lexa said and then her eyes were glued on the TV screen that I wanted to die. "What is this?" her eyes dangerously met mine.

 

“What is happening?” Anya and Octavia asked in unison. Then their eyes were also glued at the screen and they gave me a questionable look.

 

My eyes went down at the floor but Lexa grabbed my arm, forcing me to look at her. "What is the meaning of this, Clarke? Who is that guy?"

 

"I don't know!" I replied. “I really don’t know.”

 

"When did this happen?" She asked. Her eyes were cold.

 

“Last night.”

 

Echo’s voice filled the entire hall.

 

“Echo!” I breathed. “I was with her. She would explain everything.” I told Lexa.

 

Echo walked forward. “I was with Clarke last night and that guy in the picture is Roan. She was Clarke’s date last night. We were at the bar and then I saw Clarke leaving with Roan that night. I didn’t know where they went.” Echo said, her voice laced with innocent.

 

“What?! He is not my date!” I glared at Echo. She just betrayed me in front of Lexa.

 

Echo looked at me with sympathy in her voice that I felt sick. “Clarke, you were really wild last night. You were telling everyone that you got Lexa Woods wrapped around your fingers. And then you made out with almost everyone after telling them that you were just playing Lexa. I was trying to stop you but you shove me and went running with Roan. You left the bar with him.”

 

Lexa’s eyes were filled with rage. She was gritting her teeth and was looking at me and suddenly I felt scared.

 

“I didn't do anything! I was framed!" I told her. “Echo! You’re lying! Tell the truth! Tell Lexa the truth!”

 

“Why would I lie in front of The Grounders, Clarke? I’m just telling the truth.” Echo said.

 

Anya and Octavia grabbed Lexa’s shoulders but Lexa stayed. She was looking at me, her eyes were angry.

 

"You told me last night you were with Raven. I believed you. Now, tell me that you're not the girl in that picture. Tell me and I will believe you." she said, her voice echoed in the hall.

 

I swallowed hard. Tears threatened to escape, I could never lie to her again, "I am the girl in the picture." I softly said. “BUT…” Tears welled up and I choke back my sob, trying to explain.

 

But Lexa didn’t let me finished; she turned around to walk away from me. The students parted as they gave way to Lexa. Octavia and Anya following behind.

 

I yelled at the top of my lungs as I watched Lexa walked away. "But we didn't do anything! Believe me, Lexa! We didn't! I’m being set up!"

 

She didn’t stop. She continued to walk away.

 

She left me. I felt my tears ran down fully and I knelt on the floor, I whispered. "Believe me, Lexa. Just believe in me." I felt my heart broken into pieces. Lexa didn’t believe in me.

 

I was on the floor crying my heart out when I felt myself being surrounded.

 

“Looks like there’s no one to protect you now, you bitch!”

 

My cries were drowned by their evil laugh.

 

But I couldn’t care less. All I could think about was Lexa leaving and walking away from me.

 

Lexa.

 

Lexa.

 

I’m sorry.

 

Please believe me.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"You slut!"

 

"That serves you right!"

 

"Your game is over!"

 

"You whore!"

 

"You're just a poor girl who wants to use Lexa for her money!"

 

"Damn you!"

 

"Guess there's no single Grounder who would help you now, huh?"

 

 

Every slapped.

 

Kicked.

 

Punched.

 

Every words.

 

I endured them all. I didn't fight them. I think I deserved this for hurting Lexa.

 

I deserved this.

 

But what hurts me the most was that, Lexa left me. Lexa didn't believe me. And that made my heart bleeds in agony.

 

 

"You fucking whore!" Someone grabbed my hair that I winced in pain, she made me stand up and looked directly into my eyes. It was difficult for me to look at her because I earned myself a black eye. I couldn’t even open my eyes. "This is for hurting our beloved Commander!"

 

She was about to slap me again when a hand grabbed her arm.

 

"Stop it!" A voice echoed in the hall.

 

"But she---" The girl tried to say.

 

Once again, Lexa's voice echoed. "I said, ENOUGH!” She repeated again that made the students stop. She pushed the girl away from me. “LEAVE US!”

 

My body felt weak. I was about to fall when I felt Lexa's arms around me. She knelt down to catch me; my arms hold on to her for support. I was crying, I could feel my tears flowing down on my cheeks. "Lexa… Believe me. Nothing happened. Believe me. I just want you to believe me…" I said, my voice croaked.

 

She pressed her lips against my forehead that I felt my heart jumped. I was about to say something when she whispered. "I believe you. I believe everything you say. I told you I will protect you but I failed when you needed me the most. I'm sorry I'm late---"

 

Her lips were still pressed against my forehead and I felt safe. "You were never late, Lexa. I'm just glad you came." I mumbled as my tears fell continuously against my cheeks.

 

 

 


	9. Meeting Halfway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa takes care of Clarke's bruises and wounds.

“Clarke…”

“Clarke…”

I woke up at the sound of an angelic voice. Am I dead? Slowly, I opened my eyes and was met by forest green eyes.

“Lexa?” I breathed.

“Yes, Clarke. How do you feel?” She asked softly.

I tried to sit up but end up wincing in pain. She immediately caught my hand and squeezed it.

“You have to be careful, Clarke.” She said, her brows creased in worry. “I am so sorry, Clarke. I shouldn’t have left. I was confused and angry. I was----“

“Shhhh. It’s okay. You came back for me. That’s all that matters.” I said. “I’m thirsty.”

“Oh yes.” She removed her hand that was caressing mine and suddenly I felt empty. I also feel guilty that I lied to her. “Lexa…”

Lexa handed a glass full of water to me. She helped me drink because I was still too weak to move.

“Lexa…” I repeated once I finished drinking the water she gave. “I’m sorry for… for lying…”

For a moment, I saw flashes of hurt in her eyes but it was immediately replaced by her stoic face. She shook her head. “We don’t have to talk about it.” She said unemotionally.

I grabbed her arm. “No, I want to apologize. I… uhm… I made a mistake of lying to you. I couldn’t blame you for leaving me there. I lied to you.”

Lexa was staring at me deeply into my eyes and I already feel small. “Why? Why did you lie?”

My lips trembled. “I’m confused.” I shook my head. “You make me feel something Lexa, and I don’t know if I’m prepared for that. We are two different worlds. I don’t belong in your world and….”

She cuts me off by lifting my chin. “Then we will meet halfway, Clarke.”

“But…”

“I like you.” She was looking at me like I’m the prettiest girl in the planet. Her eyes are so expressive that I realized that she really really likes me. That I shouldn’t doubt the great Lexa Woods when she says that. “I’ve never felt this before Clarke. What I feel for you is true. I want to protect you. I want to give everything to you. You have my undivided attention. And I will hurt everyone who will try to hurt you.”

My tears started to fall down. I blinked them away. I don’t know what to say. I was speechless.

“I don’t want to make you cry.” She wiped my tears away. “I will wait, Clarke. I will wait for you to be ready. But please don’t tell me that we’re on a different world. I will come to your world if I have to.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I could never imagine Lexa Woods without all the glamour and power surrounding her. I would never do that to her. Meeting halfway seems like a great idea. I’m still not sure about my feelings for her though.

She caressed my face. “I need to take care of your bruises and wounds. Be still.”

I nod my head.

“Lexa…”

“Hmmm?” Her face was inches from mine.

“I didn’t sleep with that guy.” I said and it made her froze. “You have to believe me.”

“I believe you.” She said.

“Really?”

“I told you Clarke. Whatever you say, I will believe you. If you say that you didn’t sleep with the guy, then I believed you.” She said.

I wanted to cry again. My tears fell again and she immediately wiped it.

“Why are you crying? Did you not want me to believe you?” She said, her eyes filled with worry.

“I just can’t believe you still trust me after the stunt Echo pulled towards me.” I replied between tears.

Lexa smiled warmly. “I just know that you’re not that kind of girl. It should be me that needs to apologize.” Her eyes looked away and I knew she felt guilty. “I shouldn’t have left.” She clenched her fists. “I should be blamed.”

“Lexa… no.” I enclosed her cheeks with my hands and made her look at me. “You came at the right time.”

She nods.

Again, her eyes met mine and for a brief moment she glanced at my lips and then back at my eyes again. I remember her saying that she wouldn’t kiss me without my permission and now it felt like she was silently asking me. I gulped nervously.

I wanted to…

My eyes fell on her plump lips and unconsciously; I wet my lips with my tongue.

“Clarke…” I heard her whispered my name.

I swallowed hard as I looked into her eyes again. I felt her hand on my waist. I knew she wanted to kiss me but she was holding herself back.

I wanted to kiss her too but…

My heart beats so fast that I was afraid she would hear it. I wanted her so badly to make her move but she was just looking at me silently asking for permission.

Lexa Woods, Commander of Getting-Everything-She-Wants, was asking for my permission for a kiss.

Her lips were slightly parted and she was staring at my lips like she would devour it in any moment.

“Clarke…” she softly whispered again. Her grip on my waist became hard like she was just controlling herself.

Kiss me already, Lexa Woods. I murmured inside my head but I couldn’t say it in words. I don’t have the courage to ask her to kiss me. I’m a coward for these feelings. Something is still holding me back.

I felt her other hand on my right cheek, caressing me softly there. Her eyes never left mine. I couldn’t bear the intensity of her beautiful eyes anymore so I closed my eyes.

Within seconds, I felt her lips pressed against my own and I forgot to breathe. Because finally, she kissed me.

Her lips were so soft as they moved against mine. There was no harshness on the kiss like she was very careful not to hurt me. The world stops and all I could think and feel was Lexa.

Lexa’s lips surrounding my bottom lip…

Then my upper lip…

My lips were still closed as I savor the feeling of her lips pressing softly against my own.

And then she goes back to my bottom lip, bit them softly that I gasped.

“I like you Clarke…” She mumbled softly on my lips that I opened my mouth in response and that gave her the much needed permission to access my mouth. She didn’t waste any time as she caressed my lips with her tongue.

I hold on to her arms for dear life. She was drowning me with her kisses. I was lost.

She angled her head while I felt her tongue at the roof of my mouth.

I felt heat all over my body especially between my legs. My arms encircled around her nape and I found myself responding in abandonment.

Her tongue teased mine and I responded gracefully. Her kisses made me weak; and against my better judgment, I heard myself moan. I was so embarrassed that I pulled away from her.

I was breathless and I couldn’t look at her in the eye. I felt like I lost myself.

I want her.

But we need to stop.

As soon as I regained my breathing, I looked at her. Lexa’s cheeks were flushed as she breathed heavily. She was looking at me with desire in her eyes. I’m fairly certain that I also have that kind of look.

We got lost with each other.

“I think we should…” I began, my voice was raspy. It was embarrassing.

“Stop. We should stop, I know.” She said softly.

I nod.

She stood up. “You need to rest, Clarke. I already called your mom and dad and I told them you will be staying here for a while.”

That made my eyes wide. “Oh god, no! They would think that…” I panicked.

“Would you rather let them see your face like that, Clarke?”

I lowered my head. “You’re right. They will be worried.”

“Don’t worry. I told them it’s a group project.” She winked then left.

Her wink. Ugh! Lexa Woods. You are something else.

I stood up and looked into the mirror at the corner of this huge room. I was embarrassed to see that my lips were certainly red from kisses and my cheeks were flushed.

Lexa saw me like this. Ugh!

* * *

 

It had been a week since that incident. The students were once again respectful of me but I know that deep inside they still hated me for Lexa’s attention.

“Earth to Clarke.” Raven’s fingers snapped in front of me.

“Oh… sorry.” I turned my head towards Raven. We were watching Netflix and I just zoned out.

“You seemed distracted.” Raven noticed.

I exhaled a deep breath. “I don’t like my new school. I still feel that I don’t belong there. I want to go to your school.”

Raven rolled her eyes. “Oh come on. You don’t want my school. It’s full of crap. Polis Academy is the real deal, Clarke. You get the right education plus you have the Grounder Four to protect you. Well minus one.”

I looked away. Now that Raven mentioned it, I wonder what Alicia is doing right now.

Shaking my head, I erased my thoughts about her immediately. “Echo was my first friend there but she betrayed me.”

“Yeah about that, what happened to her again? You forgot to tell me about that part last time.” Raven asked.

“She was obsessed with Lexa. They met before in Canada when they were kids. Echo forced her parents to make her study here so she could see Lexa. She was in love with her. She was trying to capture her attention for years but Lexa doesn’t even look at her. She doesn’t even know nor remember her. And then I came, her plans got ruined. So she set me up, made me drink something that made me passed out and then it happened.”

“Wow! That bitch really did the worst huh. How did you know all of this?”

“Anya and Octavia made an investigation. They figured it out.” I replied.

“So where is that Echo bitch now?”

“Lexa told me she went back to Canada. Anya said that they had a little chat.”

“I bet Commander Lexa Woods threatened that bitch.” Raven laughed.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Knowing Lexa. She would probably do that.” I exhaled a deep breath again, “But my point is, I don’t want that to happen anymore. I don’t want others plotting my downfall every single time just because I am Lexa’s eye candy.”

“You are not Lexa’s eye candy, Clarke. She is in love with you.” Raven said firmly.

I looked away. “Love is a strong word, Raven.”

“Deny it all you want but you know deep inside I’m right.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. After the kiss we shared, she didn’t make any move. We haven’t really talked about it. And she just seems so formal with me lately.”

“And now you missed her.” Raven grinned.

“It’s not that. I just don’t know if we’re dating or not. It’s confusing.” I said.

“Why don’t you invite her for a date? Maybe she was just waiting for you?”

“She once said that she would wait for me.”

“See? Invite her on a date. In fact, why don’t you invite her on a double date with me and Finn? That would be fun. Let’s go to Six Flags. I just hope your girl likes roller coasters though.” Raven suggested.

That might be a better idea. She does say that we should meet halfway. “Okay. I’ll ask her.”

 

* * *

 

“A DOUBLE DATE?? What is that?” Lexa reacted exaggeratedly at the idea.

I rolled my eyes. “Double date, Lexa. Raven and her boyfriend together with the both of us would spend time together in a date.”

“Why would we need them for our date? We could have our own.” Lexa said.

“You told me that we could meet halfway. So us, poor people have this thing called Double Date. We spend time together with our friends and have fun together. I think it’s a good idea.” I replied.

Lexa was silent for a while and then she said, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Clarke.”

Once again, I rolled my eyes. “Fine. If you don’t want to, I wont force you. But if you decided to come over, the three of us will be at Six Flags 11 AM tomorrow.” I said then walked away annoyed.

So much for telling me to meet halfway. She won’t even come down on her mighty horse. I grudgingly walked away. This really won’t work between us.

* * *

 

“I thought you’re here with your date, Clarke? Where is she? I heard it’s the mighty Lexa Woods.”

Raven elbowed Finn to make him shut up, “Where is Lexa?”

“She won’t come. This double date might be too low for her.” I said, crossing my arms, extremely upset.

“I never said that, Clarke.”

My eyes widen as I turned around. There she is, Lexa Woods in her black leather pants and white V-neck T-shirt. She was wearing her signature braid and aviator shades. She looks so hot.

Even Raven thinks so too as she whispered something like, “She’s a goddess, Clarke, even in her casual wear.”  
I swallowed hard as I walked towards Lexa. “I thought you wouldn’t come. You seemed repulsed with the idea.”

Lexa smirked. “If you said it’s fun, then I believe you. All I know is I want to be with you.”

“Sweet talker.” I mumbled.

“Do I look casual enough? Anya and Octavia were giving me shits on what to wear for this double date. And may I remind you, they laughed at me so hard that I wanted to punch both of their faces.”

I laughed. “They made fun of you, huh?”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “This better be worth it.” She mumbled that I just continued to laugh.

“Let’s go and meet my friends.” I grabbed her wrist as we walked towards Raven and Finn. “You looked casual enough, yes. I like it.” I whispered softly with my cheeks burning.

* * *

 

“I hope you like rollercoasters, Lexa.” Raven grinned.

“I haven’t been in any.” Lexa replied as she looked at her surroundings.

“Seriously, dude?” Finn said loudly that both Raven and me glared at him. He just called Lexa a dude. I was sincerely hoping and praying that Lexa wouldn’t snap at him or this could get ugly.

“You don’t do fun, I assume?” Finn continued. “And here I thought if you have lots of money, you can at least have fun almost everyday!”

I was holding my breath for Lexa’s answer and when she didn’t snap, I continued to breathe.

“Well, there’s always a first time for everything. Right Clarke?” She asked as she looked at me.

“Right.” I smiled thankfully. “Let’s go and enjoy the rides.” I said, intertwining her hands with mine.

* * *

 

“That was fun, Clarke. It made me forget all the weight that I have to bear on my shoulders.” She said, smiling.

We were eating ice cream while Raven and Finn rode another rollercoaster.

“Your parents didn’t bring you in amusement parks ever? Why?” I asked.

“My father died when Alicia and I were kids. Plane accident.” She said.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Don’t be.” She held my hand. “That was long ago. Anyway, my mother took over the business and she didn’t have time for us anymore. She was always out of the country most of the time. Aunt Indra was the one who took care of us. She was the one who taught me how to defend myself. She was more of a mother to us.”

“Where is she now?”

“She needs to have a life of her own too.” Lexa replied and by the sound of her voice, I already knew how much she misses her Aunt Indra.

“Hey!” Raven called out.

Both of us looked at her. She was smiling and full of sunshine.

“Let’s go try the X2 ride. I heard it was the number 1 thrill ride here in Six Flags.” She said, bouncing with excitement.

“Alright. Let’s go.” I stood up and grabbed Lexa’s hand.

* * *

 

We almost rode all the extreme rides and it feels so good to see Lexa carefree and happy. I like this side of her.

“You’re staring.”

“What?” I blushed hard.

“You’re falling for her, Clarke. I could see it.” Raven teased.

“No, I’m not.” I denied almost immediately which made Raven laughed.

“What’s not to love? She is gorgeous, hot, breathtakingly beautiful, rich, HOT. Did I just repeat HOT?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, you did.”

Raven crossed her arms. “Well she is.”

I looked at Lexa again who was at the end of the line for the food stall. She and Finn went together to buy us lunch.

“She is something else, Raven. To be honest, I like this side of her.” I said.

“Well, get used to it. Commander Heart Eyes only has eyes for you and she would do everything to make you happy. That’s how I see it.” Raven smiled at me.

I looked at Raven and smiled. I feel butterflies inside my stomach just by thinking of her. “I hope so.” I mumbled softly.

Once again, my eyes searched Lexa and imagine my shock when I saw her punching Finn on his face.

“Oh my god! Lexa!” I screamed.

“FINN!” Raven rushed on Finn’s side.

I ran towards them too.

“WHAT HAPPENED?” I glared at Lexa, who is now sporting rage all over her face. She was clenching her fist.

“That bitch just punched me on my face! I didn’t even know why! We were just waiting on the line to buy food.” Finn said loudly.

Lexa gritted her teeth.

I faced her and pointed directly towards her, pushing her in the process. “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??!!”

“Serves him right. I regret nothing.” She said in an icy tone. She was looking at me emotionless.

I shook my head. “And here I am thinking you’re finally changing from that arrogant and snarky attitude of yours! You are still the cold and emotionless…”

She turned away. “I’m done with this charade. I’m leaving.”

“LEXA!” I caught her wrist. “Apologize to Finn. You punched him in his face for no reason! Learn to apologize!” I demanded.

“I will not apologize to that lowlife brute.” She said, pulling away her hand from my hold.

I gritted my teeth as I watched Lexa walked away from me.


	10. That Thing Called Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Clarke and Lexa's fight because of Raven's boyfriend, Finn.

How did she expect me to apologize to that poor excuse of a boy? That Finn guy is ridiculous. I would never want to see that lowlife brute again. Clenching my fist, I closed my eyes to calm myself. Punching him was appropriate. I would have enjoyed kicking him in the gut as well. I would----

A knock on the side of my car made me opened my eyes and I fought the urged to roll my eyes at the sight of the blonde that tormented me ever since I laid my eyes on her.

“Open the door!” She mouthed.

No one orders me around. I’m the leader of the Grounder Four and I am Lexa Woods and---

She banged my car again as she mouthed her previous words with fury on her eyes.

An angry Clarke Griffin is always a sight to behold. In Octavia’s words, ‘HOT’ is the right term.

Eventually I opened the window, who am I kidding? I’m a goner when it comes to this infuriating blonde, but she can’t know that.

“Are you here to ask me again to apologize? Because I won’t.” I told her stoically.

“No. I know you won’t do that. You hate apologizing. Because that’s what you are.” She said in a steady voice.

 _That’s what I am. What am I exactly, Clarke?_ I wanted to ask but I stopped myself.

“Get in the car. I’ll drive you home.” I said, looking away from her.

“No.”

I exhaled a deep breath, trying to control my temper. “Come inside, Clarke.”

“I want to know what happened. Why did you punch my bestfriend’s boyfriend?” Clarke asked, her tone calm and different.

I gritted my teeth once again as I remembered Finn’s words. “Does it matter? He deserved it.” I said in an emotionless voice.

“Come on Lexa! Tell me what happened! You punched Raven’s boyfriend in front of so many people and---“

“I would do it again.” I cut her off which made her angrier. “And tell your bestfriend that she deserved better than that.”

“LEXA!!!” She said in a loud voice. It was like she was breathing fire and could kill me with her eyes. “Tell me!!!”

I looked away. I couldn’t even find myself telling her the truth. Finn’s words were so vulgar that I don’t want it to come out of my mouth. So I lied, “He annoys me. He pushed my button. I was just controlling myself because of you but my temper won. I punched him square in the face because I just feel like it.” At the last sentence, I faced her.

She shook her head defeatedly. “You just feel like it? I left you for a minute and you just go punching people on their faces? You are unbelievable Lexa. I can’t even look at you right now. You are a bully.” Then she laughed sarcastically, “Who am I kidding? You are the leader of your stupid group and students follow you. They are bullies because of you. They were the one who hurt me physically but you’re the mastermind for all of that. You might as well punched me like you did with Finn.”

I clenched my jaw as I listened to Clarke. It pained me to hear that she was blaming me for what happened to her. But I guess, she was right. Memories of Clarke being punched and kicked before I arrived made my heart bleed.

“I don’t want to see you again, Lexa Woods. This is never going to work out.” She said and that made my heart panic. “Don’t follow me.” I was about to speak again when Clarke ran away as fast as she can before I could even step out of my car.

 

* * *

 

Jab – Cross – Hook – Cross

I breathed out as I continuously let out my frustration at the poor punching bag.

Jab – Cross – Uppercut – Cross

It had been two days since I last saw Clarke. She was avoiding me at all costs. Not that I’m looking for her or anything.

Jab – Jab – Cross- Hook – Cross

Damn it! I miss her!

Jab – Cross – Hook- Cross – Hook – Cross – Right Kick

“AHHHHHHH!” I breathed out.

Memories of what happened with Finn clouded my mind.

_“So, you and Clarke huh?” Finn spoke that made me look at him. He was looking at Clarke, who was at the table with Raven. “Man, Clarke is the real goddess. Have you seen her boobs yet? I bet you did. How was it? Were they soft and jiggly and----_

_“You do not speak of Clarke that way.” I gritted my teeth and clenched my jaw._

_“Oh come on.” He laughed. “I was just joking jeez. You are so stiff, Woods. Come on!” He laughed again that I struggle to control my temper, “I was just kidding. Clarke is all yours. I just wanted to know if she is a tigress in bed. I mean, look at her. She is smoking hot. I would fuck her anytime if you ever get bored of her. I could even lend you my girl Raven for you to fuck too. Hell! We could even do a foursome----“_

_That was it! My self-control slipped. I punched him so hard, it created a loud thud on the ground. He was bleeding._

_He had it coming. He deserved it! I felt no remorse._

_“WHAT HAPPENED?” It was Clarke and she was glaring at me._

Jab – Cross – Hook – Cross – Cross

Jab – Cross

Jab – Cross

Jab – Cross

Jab – Cross

“That punching bag won’t be able to fight you, you know.”

I stopped at the sound of Clarke’s voice. What is she doing here?

Turning around, my eyes landed on Clarke. She smiled at me. “Hi.” She said.

“What are you doing here?” I asked her, and then I walked to the other side and grabbed the towel and wiped the sweat off my face. That workout made me thirsty so I also grabbed my water bottle and drink from it.

When I turned my eyes towards Clarke again, she was staring at my abs. I was only wearing a sports bra and short shorts and it was obvious she was checking me out. I felt my pride soared high.

I faked a cough and that probably made her stop from her ogling. She looked away and her face was red. She knew she was caught. That make me smirked internally.

“Clarke?”

“Yeah. Uhm. Titus let me in. He said that you were here.” Then she looked around. “Nice gym room by the way.”

I nodded. I wanted her to speak why is she here.

Slowly, she walked towards me. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I asked.

“Raven told me the truth. He caught Finn with another girl this morning and because he was caught, he spilled out what happened two days ago.” She looked down and then continued, “You should have told me what Finn’s words were. I would have believed you, Lexa. I’m sorry.” She lifted her eyes and caught mine.

I stared back at her. She is really beautiful.

“You don’t have to apologize, Clarke.” I said.

“But I do. I should. You were just defending my honor and---“

I shook my head and held her shoulder. My heart beats fast and I have to calm myself down first before speaking, “Clarke…”

“No.” She shook her head. “I was mean to you. I said those words and I hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

I lifted her chin so she could look at me in the eye, “That doesn’t matter anymore. You’re here now.”

“You’re not mad at me anymore?” She asked softly.

“I was never mad at you.” I told her.

“But you were punching that thing so hard and I thought----“

I laughed. “I just missed you so badly. You told me you never want to see me again and I was just letting out my frustration because I couldn’t come after you.” I smiled tenderly at her.

She squinted her eyes. “You will never show your face at me again if I said so? That didn’t stop you before, Lexa. You never take orders from anyone.”

I shook my head and laughed.

This woman.

She will be the death of me.

“You do know that you’re pretty annoying.” I told her, smirking.

She laughed. “You do know that you have a temper.” She countered back.

“Your temper is much worst than me, Clarke.” I caressed her face as I looked adoringly at her.

She leaned into my touch and I just want to kiss those lips of hers. If she would just allow me.

“Hmmm… You told me I’m pretty.” She said softly. Blue eyes caught green ones.

“Yes. You are very gorgeous, Clarke.” I said. I wanted to lean so I could kiss her but I just want her permission.

My heart was beating erratically as I caught her eyes gazing at my lips. Does she want me to kiss her?

“Lexa…” She swallowed hard and then wet her lips.

That was a signal right? A permission to kiss her?

Slowly, I leaned into her. She fluttered her eyes close.

My lips hovered on hers and when our lips touched, there’s a funny feeling settling on my stomach. Octavia once told me they were butterflies but that’s obviously stupid. Octavia always say stupid things.

Clarke’s hand settled on my neck and I angled my head so I could have a better access to her lips. She opened her mouth for me and I didn’t waste time to enter it with my tongue. She gasped and her hold on my neck tightened.

My hands settled on her waist as I pulled her towards me. She arched her back for me. My tongue licked the roof of her mouth and a tiny little moan came out of her.

“Lexa…” she mumbled between kisses. “Go out on a date with me.” she said as she pulled away.

I opened my eyes and caught her staring at me with hooded eyes. “Date?” I mumbled stupidly. Kissing Clarke made me lose my mind.

“Yes.” She smiled. “Just the two of us. No double dates.”

I smiled. “I would like that.”

“Tomorrow night. I’ll take you out. Wear something nice.” She said.

I chuckled. “I think I should be the one taking you out, Clarke. You already asked me twice.”

She pouted and it was cute. “The first one didn’t go so well so I think I deserve another shot. Besides, I was the one who ask you out today.”

I smirked. “Fair enough.”

She pulled away from me completely and I already missed the warmth of her body against mine. “Take a shower, Woods. You’re sweaty and all.” She said as she laughed at me.

I laughed. “That didn’t stop you from ogling at my abs, Griffin.”

Clarke rolled her eyes but her cheeks went red.

* * *

 

“You’re going on a date with Clarke again?” Octavia’s voice perked up as she opened the door of my room. Octavia just doesn’t know the concept of knocking.

“Who told you?” I asked, seemingly annoyed.

“Doesn’t matter.” She sat on my couch and lifted her feet on the table in front of her. She knows that I hate her for doing that on my table but she always insist on doing it. “So you and Clarke settled your misunderstanding huh?”

“Yes.” I said while I applied my eyeliner. “She knew the truth from Raven. Apparently, Finn told Raven everything why I punched him in his face. Which is weird.”

Octavia chuckled nervously. I looked at her. “Yeah, about that…”

I furrowed my eyebrows at her. “Explain.”

“Well, apparently, I’m a very helpful friend so I decided to work on a little magic and Voila! Problem solved!” She grinned.

“What did you do?”

“Relax. Everything is handled beautifully. Besides that cute Raven girl deserves better than him. He won’t bother Raven anymore.” Octavia smiled as she stretched her arms above her head.

I glared at her. “Don’t you dare…”

“What?” Octavia looked at me like she was a picture of innocence.

“Don’t touch Clarke’s bestfriend, Octavia. I mean it.” I said in a serious tone.

Octavia rolled her eyes, “Relax! I won’t. That girl is too innocent for me anyway. I just helped her get her revenge on that Finn guy.”

“Don’t play with her.” I said with finality on my voice.

Octavia once again, just rolled her eyes.

Someone knocked on the door.

“Enter.” I said.

“Heda. Miss Griffin just arrived. She is now waiting for you downstairs.” Titus said formally.

I nodded. “Tell her I’ll be out in a minute. And Titus?”

“Yes Heda?”

“Tell Gustus and the rest of my bodyguards not to follow me.”

“But Lexa, we can’t---“ Titus starts to reasoned out but I stopped him with my hand.

“You heard me.”

“Yes, Heda.” Titus bowed and left.

“Are you sure that’s smart?” Octavia asked. “We’ve always been shadowed by our bodyguards ever since we were little. Whether we see them or not.”

“Enough Octavia. I don’t want to make Clarke uncomfortable.” I said.

Octavia grinned. “Uh-huh. Maybe you just want to get laid.”

I glared at her. “I am not thinking about that.”

“Oh yeah. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Octavia laughed, then she stood up and left the room.

I looked at myself in the mirror for the last time. I’ve never been nervous like this before. The so-called butterflies are inside me again and I just want to kill them all.

* * *

 

Wow! That pretty sums up everything I want to say to Clarke as I looked at her in her pretty above-the-knee blue dress. She looked stunning.

“You’re very pretty Clarke.” I said that made her blush.

“You’re much more gorgeous, Lexa.” She said, cheeks still blushing.

I smirked. “Don’t I know that already?” I joked.

“Ugh! You’re kind of annoying too.” She said, smiling.

“So where are we going?” I asked.

“We’re going to have dinner at my favorite restaurant.” She said as she caught my hand and intertwined it with hers.

* * *

 

“Sorry I don’t have a car.” She said as we stepped out of the Uber Car.

“Would you like to have one? I could buy you a car.” I said genuinely.

“Lexa!” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t want you buying me anything especially a car.”

“I’m offering you a gift.” I insisted.

“No.” She shook her head. “Anyway, I hope you like it here. It’s the only restaurant I can afford. But I’m really positive about the food here.” She said nervously.

I smiled at her. “Clarke, we don’t have to eat in a restaurant. I will be with you anywhere.”

“I just want it to be perfect. And I’m nervous and I really want this to go well unlike what happened at the double date and---“

Clarke mumbling is really cute. But I have to stop her by placing my finger on her lips to prevent her from talking. “Let’s have our dinner, shall we? I’m sure I would love it here.”

Clarke nod and smiled.

* * *

 

Clarke loves to talk and I was enjoying every single thing she says. She was telling me about her parents, how they annoy her but she still loves them nevertheless. How she wished she had a sister or a brother. How she loves playing video games. How she loves to play sports but sucks at it.

“How about you, Lexa? Any fun thing you do when you were a child?” She asked.

“Alicia and I met Octavia and Anya when we were kids. Being rich has its downside when it comes to meeting other people. So we were stuck with each other for a long time. We were basically like sisters and we do a lot of fun things too.”

“Like?”

“Hmmm… a lot of sports and hobbies actually. I love car racing, horse racing and target shooting. Alicia is more of a water sports type. Anya and Octavia compete in different sports like lacrosse, volleyball, tennis and many more. Actually we do similar things with each other. It’s just that there are different fields we excel at.” I explained.

“Wow. You are all talented in different fields.” Clarke said.

“Our parents want us to be perfect in the eyes of other people. So we don’t really play stuff like normal kids do when we were young. My family spent a lot of money for Alicia and I to excel in almost everything.”

“You are lucky.” Clarke said in a soft tone.

I chuckled. “I am not.”

Clarke looked up to meet my eyes. “You are. Your parents love you unconditionally. You don’t feel the pressure to be the best or the perfect daughter. You’re just simply you. And I envy that. Being the eldest Woods, I’m older than Alicia by 2 minutes by the way; the weight on my shoulder is big. I have to be the best. I have to be great. That is expected of me.”

Clarke’s features soften, she reached out for my hand on the table. “I know you can do it.”

I just simply smiled at her.

She smiled at me too and that made my heart soar.

* * *

 

Clarke insisted on taking me home first. She is in the mood to become a gentlewoman so I let her. Just this once. Seems like I couldn’t win an argument with Clarke. She had me wrapped around her fingers.

And in all honesty, I love it.

“Thanks for the dinner, Clarke.” I said softly. We were at the front porch of the Woods mansion.

“Thanks for accepting my invitation.” She replied.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked her, my eyes are smiling.

“Because of the disaster that happened.” She said.

“Forget about that. I’m just happy we’re okay now.” I said, leaning slowly towards her.

She nods and wets her lips.

I took that sign as an opportunity to kiss her again. Her lips were soft and pliant against mine as I captured them with passion. Clarke replied with the same intensity that I almost lost myself. I was gripping on her waist as I pulled her against mine.

Clarke’s arms were around my neck and she was kissing me back passionately.

My heart beats triple fast as I continued kissing her lips. The kiss was full of passion that I have to steady myself and stop myself from moaning. I slowed it down by capturing her bottom lip softly and then her top lip. She must have realized that I was slowing down because she pulled away slowly. Her eyes were hooded like last time. Her lips were red from my kisses.

I breathed. “Goodnight Clarke.” I whispered huskily.

“Goodnight Lexa.” She replied softly and then walked away.

The realization dawned on me.

Is this the thing they called love?

This is not just about like.

I’m in love…

I’m in love with Clarke Griffin.

* * *

 


	11. Confused And Torn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Grounders invited Clarke and Raven on a weekend trip. Will this be memorable to all of them?

> “Clarke!”

I turned around as soon as I heard Lexa’s voice. She smiled at me. “I will drive you home.”

I rolled my eyes. We had an argument earlier and I’m still kinda pissed off at her. “No it’s fine. I just want to go home alone.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Are you still mad at me?”

I huffed and crossed my arms. “Of course I am.”

“Your classmate was flirting at you. What do you want me to do?” Lexa crossed her arms as she mimicked my expression.

“First, my classmate wasn’t flirting. You have a very narrow mind.” I glared at her. “And second, you don’t have to give a stupid Grounder Red Tag to every person who talks to me. It is immature. You are being an immature asshole, Woods!”

She huffed. “Whatever. She deserved it. I don’t want to see her ever again. No one can touch you like that okay?”

“Oh my god Lexa! She didn’t touch me inappropriately! You are just imagining things!” I turned away angrily. Why can’t Lexa and I settle things? We always clashed with each other.

“I’m JEALOUS okay!!!”

“What?” I turned around to face her.

She looked away. “You heard me.”

I was stunned. “Why are you jealous?” I asked stupidly.

“I don’t know.” She said softly, meeting my gaze. “I just felt my blood boil when I saw you together laughing and touching like that. Octavia told me I’m jealous. I’m jealous because… you know… You already knew why.” She looked away again, her cheeks red.

Oh?

Oh!

Oh… I suppressed a smile. I don’t want to embarrass her any further.

“You don’t have to be jealous, Lexa. There is no reason to.” I replied softly. I could feel heat against my cheeks.

“You told me once that you like someone else.” She met my gaze and I felt the need to look away.

Alicia. I wonder what she is doing right now? I bet she feels happy and contented together with Ofelia. My heart skipped a beat.

“You don’t have to worry about that. She’s gone.” I replied half-truthfully.

“Does this mean I have a chance?” Lexa asked, her eyes were hopeful.

I nod my head. And somehow I realized that Lexa already has a special place in my heart. No matter how stubborn she may be.

She grinned. “Good! Because I have a surprise for you. Come with me.” She offered her hand.

I shook my head. “I can’t. It’s Friday and I have to go home early. Mom said I need to help with chores.”

“Don’t worry about that. I already asked for their permission and both of your parents agreed.” Lexa explained with a smile on her face. She is very confident that I frowned.

“What does that mean?” I crossed my arms.

“Come with me. I have a surprise for you.” She took my hand and I let her. Her hand feels so soft. I bit my lip.

* * *

 

“Are you insane? No! I don’t want to go!” I screamed. “This is crazy, Lexa.”

Lexa laughed. “So you have a fear of flying, Clarke?”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not about that. I’m just…” I look away. I’m not yet ready to…

“Clarke!”

I turned to look at the source of the voice. “Raven! What are you doing here?”

She walked towards me and hugged me. “Octavia picked me up. She said we’re going on a vacation to the Woods private island.”

I frowned. “Private island?”

Wait a minute.

“You’re with Octavia??” I furrowed my eyebrows.

Raven smiled sheepishly. “She invited me.”

I looked at Lexa and she looked away. “Oh my god. You’re not dating Octavia Blake, are you?”

Octavia laughed and tapped me on my shoulder. “Relax Griffin. We’re not on a date. I figured out you want your friend here to come with you on our weekend trip. Am I right?” She winked at Raven and I frowned.

I turned Raven’s face towards me. “Don’t. Raven.” I warned. “She will just break your heart.” I hissed.

Octavia laughed hard.

Raven just smiled. “Relax. Octavia and I are just friends.”

“Good.”

“Clarke, let’s go?” Lexa called as she gestured towards their private plane.

A private plane. They are really freaking rich. It’s insane!

Anya came with two girls on her side. “Hey guys. I want you to meet Harper and Monroe. They will be joining us for the weekend.”

The two girls, Harper and Monroe, are on Anya’s side. They looked at Lexa with hungry eyes that I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Hi Commander.” They said in unison.

Lexa didn’t say anything. She just nods at them and intertwined her hand with mine. I smirked.

She turned away from them and headed towards the plane.

“YOU’RE GOING WITHOUT ME?”

My heart skipped a beat at that voice.

I turned around and saw Alicia walking towards us.

Alicia Woods.

My eyes widen at the sight. She is alone. Where is Ofelia?

Lexa smiled.

Octavia screamed. “Hey Alicia, you’re back!”

The Grounders walked towards Alicia and hugged her. I was left there speechless as I observed them.

Alicia looked at me and smiled. “Hey Clarke. Nice to see you again.”

I smiled. “Nice to see you too.” I tried so hard not to blush infront of her.

“Where is Ofelia?” Anya asked. “Is she with you?”

“She is fine.” She said as if it was nothing.

Lexa, Anya and Octavia didn’t dare to ask or say anything.

* * *

 

Something is wrong with Alicia. I want to figure out why. What happened to her and Ofelia? Why is she not with her?

I can't stop myself from thinking what was the reason behind Alicia's sudden arrival? Did she and Ofelia got married in Paris? If yes, where is she? Why did Alicia have to come here alone? And why did she have to step into my life again all of a sudden? Ugh. Too complicated.

My damn heart just couldn't decide between the twins. I mean, yeah. I know that I'm in love with Alicia before but spending some time with Lexa made me realized that I could be attracted to her too. I mean, the kisses were magical and heart stopping. And Lexa was so… I don't know how to say this but she can make my heart beats faster than it should. Is it possible to be in love with the two twins? Am I still in love with Alicia while I think I'm falling for Lexa?

“Clarke, are you okay? You seem quiet. Are you still nervous of flying?” Lexa caressed my cheeks and I turned away. “You’re safe with me.”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry. I’m just exhausted from school.” I lied. I felt guilty of thinking about Alicia while I’m here with Lexa.

“Do you want to take a nap? Lay your head on my shoulder then.” She said.

“I’m…” I wanted to refuse but I think it’s better for me to stop thinking about Alicia.

Lexa caressed my cheeks. And my guilt feeling just intensified.

* * *

 

“Welcome to Polis, Clarke.” Lexa grinned at me. “This will be our home for the weekend. I hope you will love this place as much as we do.”

"Wow! This is definitely amazing!" I exclaimed. "Do you really own this place?" I asked Lexa, my eyes still focused at the view in front of me.

"Yeah. We named it Polis. I'm glad I brought you here because seeing your reaction, makes it all worth it." she said, whispering the last words on my ears that I instantly blushed. I playfully smacked her arm but then I noticed Alicia looking at us, she smiled though and I smiled back.

"Anya, where's our room?" I heard Harper spoke.

"Honey, are you seriously asking for our room right now? Don't you want to go swimming first?" Anya said, grinning.

"What I had in mind right now is definitely not that. We can do that later, I just want to be alone with you now." Harper whispered seductively that gain our attention. It was loud enough to hear anyway. I saw how Lexa pretended not to listen but I knew she heard Harper’s innuendo. This is getting really awkward.

"Okay, sure thing babe. I certainly love that." Anya playfully winked at Harper and pulled her hand as they walked straight to the elegant beach house located above the hill.

Lexa pulled my hand and interlaced it with hers, "I think we need to go to the beach house first and fix our things."

I nod my head then tugged Raven's hand too. We all walked together straight to the beach house.

* * *

 

 

As soon as we get inside the beach house, I was fascinated with the whole design and it certainly had a good view of the beach itself.

"Raven, Octavia will show you to one of the guest rooms, is that okay with you?" Lexa asked that made me panic. Raven nod her head in agreement, her cheeks blushing.

"No! I don't want Octavia getting near with Raven." I whispered to Lexa.

Lexa chuckled, "I know what you mean by that but don't worry. Octavia will never touch your friend. She knew that you'll probably kill her." she said as she pulled my hand and dragged me upstairs.

I frowned. “Yeah. I’ll make sure of it. Raven is not in a good place right now. She just broke up with her douchebag boyfriend.”

“Yeah. Just let her enjoy the place and forget about everything that happened to her, yes?” Lexa turned and smiled at me. “And as for you, Clarke. I will make sure that this place will be memorable to us.”

I gulped nervously. Was she thinking of… “W-what do you mean?”

Lexa reacted immediately, her cheeks were red. “Wait, what? NO! I’m not thinking about that Clarke.” She shook her head and looked away. “I’m not referring to THAT.”

"Are we sleeping together in this room?" I asked as we enter the room. It was so big and it has a king-sized bed in the middle. This room is too big for me. "I think I should probably be with Raven." I continued and looked away.

“Clarke.”

I didn’t answer. My heart hammered inside my chest of the possibility of us sleeping together in this room.

“Clarke.”

“Look at me, Clarke.”

Finally, I looked at her.

“Sleeping together in this room doesn’t mean that we should… you know…” She breathed, “Clarke, I respect you. Please don’t be afraid to be alone with me in this room.”

I exhaled a deep breath, “I’m not afraid of you, Lexa.”

"Good." she said. She looked at me and then her eyes shifted into my lips. “May I?” She asked softly. She was looking at my lips with very obvious hunger in her eyes. But she wasn’t doing anything. She was asking for permission. Who would have known that the great and mighty Lexa Woods is gentle when it comes to asking girls for kisses?

My eyes darted towards her plump lips too. Lexa Woods is like a drug to me. She does these things to me and I couldn’t even say NO.

I let her. Closing my eyes, I gave her permission to kiss me.

Slowly, she caught my hand and leaned into me, as soon as our lips touched, as soon as she parted her lips to suck on my bottom lip, I was lost.

Her kisses make me weak.

Parting my own lips, I felt her tongue grazed on my bottom lip. That gave her permission for her tongue to explore my mouth. I moaned at the contact of her tongue against my own. I placed my hand on her waist, pulling her against me like I couldn’t get enough. Lexa slowly pushed me against the wall without breaking the kiss, and I felt her thigh between mine that I moaned helplessly. The pressure between my legs was slowly building up that I had to clench my fingers on her waist. Oh my god! This feels good.

A sudden knocked on the door pulled us apart. Both of us were breathing heavily. I can feel myself blushing, not to mention that I'm already soaking wet inside my pants.

"Yeah?" Lexa answered loudly, her eyes met mine.

"Clarke, aren't you done yet? I want to explore the island." I heard Raven said.

"Uh…. Not yet. Just wait a minute, Raven." I replied loudly, never breaking eye contact with Lexa. She was breathing hard and combing her hair with her fingers. The gesture was hot.

"Okay. Can you do it fast?" Raven asked.

"Yeah. I will." I yelled.

"I'll just wait downstairs." she said.

 

"Guess we need to go back there."

"Yeah. I think so." I said, I could feel my cheeks burning with desire.

"I'm just going to change." she said and entered the bathroom.

As soon as she close the bathroom door, I let out a deep breath. Whew! That was so close!

After 10 minutes, Lexa went out of the bathroom and my jaw dropped. Literally. My eyes lingered on her from head to foot. She was wearing a dark green two-piece bikini that perfectly showed her curves and breasts. She was so hot! Scorching hot! She looked definitely like a goddess right now.

"Uh… uhm… Clarke…" she said.

"What?" I said, focusing on her eyes now.

"I think you should change now." she said.

"Oh yeah. Right." I said, and looked away from her. But then I remembered, I didn't bring any swimsuit with me.

"I bought you these." Lexa said then handed me the Victoria Secret paper bag. "I hope you like it."

I blushed at the thought of her buying me a swimsuit, so I immediately grabbed the paper bag from her and murmured, "Thanks." then I went inside the bathroom.

* * *

We went downstairs and didn't see Raven so we went straight to the beach. As we get near the shore, I noticed Monroe beside Alicia. I narrowed my eyes as I saw her giving openmouthed kisses at her. Lexa looked surprised too as she saw her sister making out with Anya’s visitor.

Before we get near Alicia, Octavia approached us and gave Lexa a warning look.

"What is Alicia doing?" Lexa hissed.

"I actually don’t have any idea. She just stole my date. It’s fine with me but this is not Alicia. I wonder what happened to her and Ofelia.”

My eyes never left Alicia as she continued kissing the brunette.

“I need to talk to my sister and put some sense into her.” Lexa frowned.

I shut my eyes closed and looked away as I couldn't handle the scene in front of me anymore. What the fuck is happening with Alicia? What would Ofelia say if she finds out about this?

Alicia must have noticed us coming towards her. She stopped kissing Monroe and turned to face us. She was smiling but I noticed something.

The smile never reached her eyes.

* * *

 

The Grounders decided to play beach volleyball. I was in awe as I looked at the four of them playing. They were all good. I stood up and screamed as I cheered for Lexa. She was beyond amazing.

Monroe sat beside me. I tried to ignore her but failed. “So, you and the commander?”

I looked at her. “Yeah. Something like that.”

“I envy you. Lexa Woods is one of a kind.” She said.

I turned the table towards her. “You and Alicia, huh?”

She chuckled. “Alicia Woods. She is a great kisser but to be honest, I like the Commander more.”

I glared at her, “That is unfair for Alicia.”

She looked at me and grinned, “Yeah, it is. But can you blame me for wanting Lexa?”

I was speechless. Somehow, I felt guilty.

“Look at her. Lexa Woods is the epitome of beauty and royalty. They look the same but there’s something about Lexa that stands out.” Then she look at me and smirked, “You have to be careful, Clarke. Lexa Woods might be yours now but who knows? The table might change.” She said then stood up to meet Alicia.

The game was finished. Lexa and Anya won.

Monroe kissed Alicia at the center.

I want to slap that bitch.

* * *

 

"Tequila shots everyone?" Octavia exclaimed excitedly. It was nighttime and we were seated in front of the camp fire.

"Definitely!" Anya agreed. "Everyone come here!" she yelled.

Raven pulled me towards Octavia but Lexa held my hand. "I don't want you to get drunk." She said.

"I won't drink too much." I replied.

"I'll start." Anya volunteered. "Harper, come here sweetie." Harper smiled seductively and leaned into Anya.

Anya licked the side of Harper's neck painfully slow, then she sprinkled the area with salt, drank one shot of tequila, she leaned again and licked the girl’s neck slowly, making her partner moaned at the contact, and then she sucked the lime into Harper's mouth and kissed her continuously.

Feeling hot, I looked away at the scene. Octavia laughed.

"Take that O!" she challenged Octavia.

"Is that the best you can do?" Octavia snorted.

"We're just starting." Anya smirked.

"Okay. Watch and learn." Octavia said seductively. She pulled Harper and gave her an open-mouthed kiss in front of everyone. The kiss lasted for several seconds before she pulled away. And then, she licked Harper's cleavage, put salt on the area, drink one shot of tequila, licked again said area then sucked the lime in Harper's mouth.

“Woah!” Anya laughed.

“You both are gross.” Lexa reacted.

"Both of you aren't quite impressive." Alicia commented with a smirked. My eyes followed Alicia who motioned for Monroe to lay down in the sand.

Monroe looked so excited that she immediately lay down in front of everybody.

Alicia lowered herself on top of Monroe and started to licked the girl's belly button. Monroe moaned unashamedly as she pulled Alicia’s head against her stomach.

Octavia handed the salt shaker and the lime to Alicia "Here you go. Finish what you started, champ!"

Alicia put the lime in Monroe's mouth, then put the salt on the area which she licked. She drank the tequila then swiped her tongue against the girl's belly button, making Monroe moaned again. Lastly, she went straight into the girl's mouth, sucked the lime and gave her a tongue kiss.

"Whew! That was hot! I didn't know you had it in you, Alicia." Octavia said, smiling widely.

"Now. Let's see. Lexa, your turn?" Anya turned to Lexa that I widened my eyes.

Lexa stood up and turned to face me, "Clarke, are you okay with this?" she asked me, obviously asking for my permission.

I shook my head. I’m not ready for that, I think.

"I volunteer myself." Monroe said making Lexa looked at her.

I narrowed my eyes. How dare this woman?

“That’s okay with you, right Alicia?” She whispered.

Alicia was clearly drunk as she gave a thumbs up gesture.

"I think I'll pass." Lexa said that made me face her. "Let's go Clarke." she said as she held my hand, pulling me up.

I can't believe Lexa rejected Monroe in front of everybody.

“Why did you do that? I don’t want you to miss all the fun.” I said.

“Kissing other girls is not my definition of fun, Clarke.” She said in a serious tone. “And I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable in any way.”

“Thank you, Lexa.” As we walked away, I heard their loud voices again, “Will Alicia be alright?”

“She will talk when she’s ready.”

* * *

 

We were inside our room, and as soon as I finished taking a shower I went to the balcony to get some fresh air. My thoughts went on Alicia. What happened to her? Why do I feel that she is broken that I felt the need to fix her.

Lexa must have finished taking a shower because her scent filled my senses. “I have a surprise for you.”

"What is it?" I asked, still staring at the view in front of me. It was breathtaking.

She held my hand and turned me so I could face her. She showed me a white gold necklace with a heart pendant. "This is a symbol of my heart, and I'm giving it to you.” She breathed. “Because Clarke, I'm deeply in love with you." she said softly that I gasped.

"You love me?" I asked dumbly.

She chuckled, "Isn't it obvious?"

"Why me?"

She didn't answer me at first, instead she slowly put the necklace on my neck, and motioned me to turn around which I followed. Then as soon as she let me wore the necklace, she whispered in my ears. "I fell in love with you the moment you gave me a spin kick."

I laughed, and then I faced her, "Are you kidding?"

She shook her head, "Nope. You captured my heart at that time."

"You're impossible." I chuckled.

Then she looked straight into my eyes and said, "I love you Clarke. I’ve never felt this way before. I want to protect you with all my heart. I want you to be happy and I hope that you are happy with me."

I was speechless. Am I really in love with Lexa? How about Alicia? I honestly don't know yet. I’m confused.

“I don’t know what to say, Lexa… I’m----“

“You don’t have to say anything now, Clarke. I said I would wait for you.” She smiled.

God, I don’t think I deserve someone like Lexa. I’m so confused right now. The presence of Alicia Woods confused the hell out of me. I don’t know what to do.

“Can I kiss you, Clarke?” Lexa whispered softly.

I nod.

She kissed me gently and slowly. She caressed my cheeks and once again, I felt my knees weakened.

The kiss that started slowly becomes heated again as she swiped her tongue into my mouth as soon as I parted my lips. Our lips moved in synchronize manner that made me want more. I held onto her shoulder while she caressed my nape, pulling me closer against her.

I want more and Lexa clearly wanted more but she stopped right in time before I lose myself.

We were looking at each other with hunger on our eyes.

“I want to but I’m not ready yet.” I finally said.

She nods her head. “I understand Clarke.”

She pulled herself away from me that I caught her wrist. "Please don't be mad at me." I begged her.

She smiled at me, "I'm not Clarke. Don't worry, I understand."

"Just please. Stay with me here. I just need you to hug me right now." I said, choking back my tears. She's so nice to me.

She wiped my tears, "Why are you crying? I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to bombard you with my feelings. I just want you to know.”

I shook my head, "No. It's not your fault. It's just…" I trailed off, I can't tell her I'm confused with my feelings right now. I don't want to hurt her.

"Okay. I'll just stay here with you." She wrapped me in her arms. She guided me towards the bed and spooned me. Then she whispered, "I love you Clarke and I will always be in love with you no matter what happens."

I just nod my head and felt my tears falling down on my cheeks. If only I could forget about Alicia. If only I'm 100% sure of my feelings for Lexa…

* * *

 

I woke up in the middle of the night. Slowly, I get off the bed leaving Lexa sleeping peacefully. I decided to walk near the shore. I need to clear my mind. I need time to think.

What I didn't expect was Alicia sitting cross-legged in the sand near the beach, bottle of alcohol on her side.

"Alicia.." I greeted. “What are you doing here? It’s already late.”

She turned to face me and smiled. "Hey Clarke." She was drunk, that I can tell.

She was crying too.

I sat beside her silently. If she wanted to talk, then I will listen.

"It didn't work out." she softly said. "Ofelia and I." then she turned to face me and gave me a sad smile.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I followed her there, at first we were so happy together until I discovered that she hooked up with someone before she came back for her birthday. She told me she didn't love him but I was so hurt that she haven't told me about that. And to think, I was waiting for her to come back. She broke my heart." Alicia said, her tears continued to fall down.

My heart broke a million times seeing Alicia like this. Seeing her broken like this, I wanted to protect her.

Wrapping her in my arms I said, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

She hugged me tightly, "Why are you so nice to me?" she cried.

"I care for you. I don't want you to get hurt, Alicia. I’m sorry for persuading you to go after her. I feel that this is my fault."

“It’s not your fault, Clarke. It’s not.” She choked a sob.

“I’m sorry.” Is all I can say.

"Thank you, Clarke. I know I was acting like an asshole right now. I just want to forget the pain in my heart. It hurts so much. I just want to drown myself with alcohol. I just…”

"Hush… Don't cry. Please don't cry anymore." I said, I can feel my own tears daring to escape, but I bit my lip to stop the tears from falling.

I can feel her pain; I can feel that she was really hurting right now. It makes me sad too. I don't want to see her like this.

After a while, I pulled away from her, slowly I wiped her tears. She was staring back at me, "Lexa is lucky to have you in her life, Clarke." She said softly.

As soon as those words escape her mouth, tears ran down against my cheeks. I was speechless and guilty.

"Why didn't I fall in love with you?" she whispered again, then she leaned into me and pressed her lips against mine. I was so shocked that I didn't move a muscle.

Her lips were moving against mine that I shuddered. Closing my eyes, I savor the feeling of Alicia’s lips against my own.

A sound of a falling object made me pulled apart from her. I looked at my side and there I saw Lexa, her phone on the ground.

My eyes widen as she witnessed the whole scene between Alicia and me.

"LEXA!" I stood up immediately and approached her.

Her eyes were void of emotions that I shivered at her intense gaze.

"Lexa, It's not what it looks like." I said, my voice shivering as I grabbed her wrist. She was looking passed me.

Pulling her hand, she said. "You told me before that you're in love with someone else." Her voice was cold as ice. Gone was the passion that only reserved for me.

I can feel my tears running against my cheek.

"Is that Alicia?"

I didn't say anything. I lowered my head. I couldn’t stop my tears from falling.

"Tell me!" she yelled.

“Yes, it was Alicia.” I nod my head. I don't want to lie anymore. Then I meet her eyes once again, "But…"

She cuts me off as she grabbed the necklace forcefully off my neck. "Guess you don't need this anymore!" she said, gritting her teeth, and threw the necklace away.

I was shocked as I followed the necklace with my eyes and before I knew it Lexa was walking away from me.

"Lex, it's not her fault!" Alicia yelled, following me behind.

Lexa stopped and turned to face us. "From now on, I don't have a sister anymore."

"No! Don't do this!" I said, my mind was in panic as I grabbed her wrist again.

"Don't touch me ever again." she said as she pulled her hand forcefully away from me. "I trusted you. I gave you my heart. But you just threw it away. You broke my heart, Clarke. I will never forgive you for this. It's over."

Her words felt like knife stabbing me inside my chest, directly into my heart that I fell down on my knees. "Lexa, I'm so sorry…" I murmured against the wind with my tears falling down endlessly.


	12. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was too late for Clarke.

“Clarke.”

“Clarke.”

“Clarke.”

With my tears falling down continuously, I tried to find the necklace Lexa threw out.

I need to find it. I NEED TO FIND THE NECKLACE!

“Clarke! What are you doing?” Alicia’s hand was on my shoulder but I pulled myself away from her.

“I’m fine Alicia. Just. Just help me find it! Just help me find the necklace Lexa gave to me.” I told her, wiping away the damn tears again.

“You’re trembling.” Alicia said, still not moving.

“Damn it! Where is it??” I ignored her.

“I’m so sorry Clarke. I didn’t mean to---“ she stopped and then continued. “I’ll talk to Lexa. I will explain what happened to her.”

“NO!” My voice was high than I intended to. “I will talk to her. I will explain everything to her. I just need to find the necklace!” I tried searching again.

Alicia held my shoulders again. “I will find your necklace. You go to Lexa. If you need me with you, then I’ll go with you. Just tell me what to do.”

I nod my head. “I’ll go. Just please promise me that you’ll look for it. It’s very important to me.”

“I promise.” She nodded.

The entire walk towards the beach house made me extremely nervous. My palms were sweating. My heart was breaking.

With my heart pounding against my chest, I entered our room.

“Lexa?”

Lexa was gone.

* * *

Lexa was gone for two days now.

The yacht was gone. She sailed by herself that night. And the worst thing is, there was a storm. And that made me worried sick.

I was a mess. I feel guilty of what I did. I hurt Lexa. I broke her heart. And now she’s missing!

I never intended to hurt her. I need to explain everything to her. I need to see her. I need to know she’s okay.

I can fix this. I just need to know that she is safe.

"I don't want to leave. I need to find Lexa. This was all my fault." I said, my eyes were already sore from crying.

Octavia approached me and put her hand on my shoulders. "We'll find her, I just want you to go back with Raven and the rest of the girls…"

"No!" I yelled. "This was all my fault! I broke her heart! I'm not going back!" I covered my face with my hands as I continued crying. Anya, Octavia, Alicia and I were alone in one room, trying to figure out what to do. They want me to go back home while they stay here to look for Lexa.

"What really happened? Why did she leave without a word?" Anya asked, staring deeply into my eyes that I felt ashamed of what I've done.

I bit my lip before answering, "She saw me kissing Alicia…" I lowered my head as I told them this.

"What?! Alicia, can you explain what happened?" Anya asked, obviously angry.

Alicia lowered her head. “I was drunk. I didn’t know what I…”

Anya pushed Alicia and the latter fell to the ground. “Why would you do that?! Don’t you know that your sister is in love with her?!” Anya turned to me. “And you! Why would you fucking hurt her like that?! You are her world! You’re----“

Octavia interfered. “Calm down Anya! We can’t do this right now. What’s done is done!”

"It's not Clarke's fault." Alicia said. “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have come here. I shouldn’t have come back.”

“YES! You shouldn’t!” Anya glared at Alicia angrily.

“ANYA! STOP! Alicia is our friend as much as Lexa. We will figure this out once we find Lexa.”

“FINE!” Anya crossed her arms. “Clarke, you need to leave. Lexa left for a reason. She won’t be happy seeing you here when she comes back.”

“But… I need to explain. Please let me stay and find her.” I begged.

Octavia shook her head, "Anya is right, Clarke. You need to go back. We're going to handle this our way. You can't be seen with Alicia right now. I hope you understand."

"Lexa was hurt. This is the first time she did something like this. And she'd probably doesn't want to see you right now." Anya’s voice was cold but I know that I deserved it. It feels that my heart was breaking at the realization of Lexa not wanting to see me.

I just nod my head in defeat. "But you have to promise to tell me soon if you find her. I need to know if she is safe."

"I promise." Alicia was the one who answered.

* * *

 

I haven't slept for days. I was so worried. It had been a week since we came back from vacation.

The Grounders hasn’t come back to school yet. I tried to contact Lexa on the phone but it went straight to her voicemail. I just need to know if she is safe.

A loud screeching sound outside the parking lot made me turn around, and there I saw a shiny red Ducati motorcycle. The driver stepped out of the bike and removed her helmet revealing her shiny brunette hair.

I froze.

"Oh my god! The Grounders! They’re back!"

Anya and Octavia stepped out of the car. Alicia was nowhere to be found.

A lone tear fell down on my cheek.

Lexa is back! She is back. Thank god, she’s safe!

My eyes met hers and I felt like my whole world stopped. She was walking towards me and my heart beats triple fast. Oh god!

I want to ran into her arms and tell her how I miss her. I want to apologize to her over and over. I want to…

“Lexa…” I mumbled.

When we were just a few inches apart, she continued walking and went past me, bumping my shoulder in the process. Like she didn’t know me. My whole world crashed down.

* * *

 

“I need to talk to her. Please.” I begged.

“I’m sorry, Clarke. But she doesn’t want to talk to you.” Octavia said.

“She doesn’t even want to see you.” Anya said, her arms crossed. “You’re still lucky that she didn’t give you a red tag. Otherwise, you would have been gone in this school.”

I clenched my fist. “I don’t care about your stupid red tag! I just want to talk to her. Please Octavia. Please let me in.”

“Let her in.”

Turning around, I saw Alicia walking towards us.

“Alicia. You know you’re one of us but your sister needs some time. She doesn’t want to see you and Clarke yet.”

“I’ll talk to my sister and both of you will let us in.” Alicia ordered, her tone mimicked that of Lexa’s authoritative voice.

Octavia and Anya both nod their heads.

“You go first, Clarke. I’m here when you need me.” Alicia said as I entered the room alone.

I took a deep breath. Lexa was standing near the window. She was so beautiful in her leather jumpsuit. The suit revealed certain amount of cleavage that made her look so stunning and sexy. I was mesmerized.

“I told them that I don’t want to see you.” Lexa said, her voice stoic. She didn’t turn to face me; her eyes were still glued outside the window.

"Where did you go?" I asked. “I was worried, Lexa. When I came back to our room, you were gone.”

Silence filled the entire room.

I fought back my tears. She was really ignoring me.

"I just want to explain my side… I want to tell you that…" I started to walk towards her.

"It doesn't matter. I don't need your explanation." Finally she turned around and my heart broke as she looked at me with those cold eyes.

"You have to listen to me. Please Lexa..."

"There's no need for that." she said in a cold tone as she looked away.

"I was so worried about you…" I choked a sob. I missed her touch. I missed her hug. I missed her warm body against mine. I missed her. All of her. “I know I screwed up. But…”

"I'm okay now. So stop pretending you're worried."

I caught her wrist "I wasn't pretending!" but then I realized I just shout at her, I lowered my voice, "Tell me what I can do for you to forgive me."

She looked at me, but gone was the tenderness in those eyes. I feel so low at the moment.

We were staring at each other. My eyes were getting misty.

"I want you to drop out of this school. I don't want to see you again."  
She doesn't want to see me again?

She doesn’t want to see me again.

I feel like my heart was shattered into pieces.

"You can't do that to me." She can’t. She just can’t.

"I own this school and I can do whatever the hell I want so I want you to leave this place." she emphasized it again as she walked past me.

"You can't do that to her!"

I turned around to see Alicia standing in front of Lexa near the door.

"Are you defending her?" Lexa hissed.

"Yes! Because this wasn't her fault! I kissed her! I was drunk and vulnerable at that time!" Alicia said in a higher tone matching that of Lexa's.

"Very well, I want both of you to drop out of this school immediately." Lexa said that made me widen my eyes.

"If that is what you want, Lexa then I'll leave. Just don't blame Clarke for all of this. It wasn’t her fault." Alicia’s voice was firm.

Lexa didn't say anything. They were just staring at each other. No one wants to back down.

It hurts me to see that they were fighting each other because of me.

I stood between them. "Please stop fighting."

Lexa didn't say anything; she just walked past me and Alicia. I couldn't even control the tears that ran down on my cheeks once again.

Alicia pulled me against her and wrapped me in her arms.

"I'm so sorry…" she softly said. “This was my fault. I’m so sorry, Clarke.”

I sobbed.

* * *

 

“I’ll take you home.” Alicia offered but I refused.

“Thank you but I would like to be alone, Alicia.” I said softly.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked.

I nod.

She held my hand. “I will fix this. I promise.”

“It’s not your fault, Alicia.” I replied softly. “This was all my fault.” I looked at her and pulled my hand away. “Lexa knew that I was in love with someone else before we dated. I didn’t tell her who it was.” I looked away.

“Clarke?”

I took a deep breath. “It was you, Alicia. I was in love with you. So you see, it wasn’t your fault. I didn’t tell her that it was you. So when she saw you kissed me at the beach, it all clicked in her mind.”

Alicia was speechless.

“I’m the one who needs to apologize for dragging you into this. So I should be the one who needs to fix it.” I told her, determination in my voice.

* * *

 

I was on my way home when a car honked beside me.

“Clarke Griffin?” The black woman driving the car asked.

“Yeah?” I asked. “Who are you?”

“Get in.” She said.

“What? I don’t know you.”

“I’m Indra Trikru. We need to talk about my nieces, Lexa and Alicia Woods.” Her tone was very serious that it meant to intimidate. “Get in, Griffin. We have a lot of things to talk about.”

* * *

 

“So you’re the reason why the Woods sister are fighting, huh?” Her tone was scary. It feels like she could kill me in one snap if we weren’t in a fancy restaurant right now.

“I never meant to hurt her.” I replied.

She nodded. “Hmmm… Sure.”

“I’m sorry if I mess things up between them.”

“No need to apologize, kid. I’m here to settle this thing once and for all.” She said.

I lowered my head. “I don’t know how to fix it but I want to.”

Indra nodded, "You're the first girl Lexa fell in love with." she said softly. "But I can't force you to love her if you’re in love with my other niece, Alicia. They are so different in many ways. Lexa is like her mother Nia; they were born to lead, authoritative, stubborn, and worst is unforgiving. But if they love someone, they will do everything in their power to show how much they care." she said that I felt my chest tighten. It is true. Lexa was so nice to me and really caring. Indra continued, "While Alicia is similar to their departed father. A complete opposite of Lexa.”

“Lexa might be stubborn but she has a good heart. And that heart was broken by you, so to speak.” Indra continued that I swallowed hard. “She is not used to this pain. She never fell in love before. You broke her heart and pride.”

I looked away. “I didn’t mean for it to happened.”

“And now you feel guilty that you broke the sisters’ bond.”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“We will fix it.” Indra said.

* * *

 

“Indra, she doesn’t want to see me.” I said as soon as I realized we were heading towards the Woods Mansion.

“You told me you want to fix this?”

“Yes.”

“Then follow my lead.”

My heart was beating rapidly against my chest as we entered the mansion.

“Indra. What a surprise.” Titus greeted. “Good evening, Ms. Griffin.”

“Good evening Titus. Where are my nieces?” Indra’s voice was authoritative.

“I believe Heda is in her room while Alicia hasn’t come home yet.”

“Good.”

Indra grabbed my hand as we climbed the stairs towards Lexa’s room. She opened Lexa’s room forcefully.

“INDRA! What are you doing here?” She stood up from her bed, obviously surprised at the sudden intrusion.

Indra let go of my hand and grabbed Lexa's collar, making her winced. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"What?" Lexa asked, struggling to let go.

"Where the fuck did you go for one whole week? Did you know how worried I am, huh?” Indra gritted her teeth.

“Who told you?”

“Do you even have to ask? We went on a secret searching mission just for you!”

"I just stayed in the yacht.” Lexa replied.

"For one whole week?"

"Yes. Can you just please let go of me and tell me what are you doing here?” Indra let go of her and that was the time she noticed me in the corner. “What is SHE doing here?”

"Clarke Griffin? She is here to fix things between you and your sister.”

Lexa sat down on her bed, "There's nothing to fix!" she said stubbornly.

"Lexa! You and Clarke Griffin will fix this mess right now.” Indra gritted her teeth. “Both of you will be stuck here together unless you talk like an adult. Am I clear? No one will be dropping out of school.”

Lexa didn’t respond.

Indra left the room and once again, Lexa and I are alone.

* * *

 

Lexa went straight to her balcony after Indra left the room. I followed her.

“Lexa. Please. Hear me out. Let me explain.” I said, on the verge of crying again but I stopped myself.

“Let’s just get this over with.” She crossed her arms.

I breathed. “I was in love with Alicia, yes. She was one of the first people who were nice to me at school. But she was in love with…”

Lexa cut me off. “You didn’t stand a chance with her that’s why I’m in the picture, am I right?” She hissed. It was the first time Lexa showed emotion in her eyes after the incident.

“That’s not what I---“

“Tell me, did you not imagine kissing my sister while you were kissing me? Did you not think of her while you were with me? Did you not wish that it was Alicia who was interested with you and not me?” Lexa advances towards me while I stepped backwards.

Her eyes were glaring at me. Like she could hurt me BUT I’m not afraid. Lexa wouldn’t hurt me in any way.

My back hit the wall and Lexa pressed her body against mine. Her hands trapped me against the wall. I had the chance to smell her scent once again and it felt heaven. I wasn’t afraid.

Lexa’s eyes were on my lips and I could see the thirst in them. “GO. Go out of my room and don’t bother me again.”

I was breathing hard. I want her to kiss me so badly. I want her to make love to me.

I. WANT. HER.

“No.” I replied. Grabbing the back of her neck, I kissed her lips.

Lexa was quick to react. Her hands were on my waist, pulling me against hers. I angled my head so I could have a better access at her mouth so I could swipe my tongue inside. She moaned.

I pulled myself off the wall. We were kissing in passion as I pushed her directly towards her room.

I want her.

I want her now.

I pulled away from her. She was looking at me with an unreadable expression.

Staring at her, I unbuttoned my top and threw it on the floor. Then I unzipped my skirt. I have to admit, I was really nervous for what I was about to do. This is my last resort. I'm half-naked now and I just want to feel her. This might be my first and last.

"Lexa…" I softly said as I walked towards her. "Let me give myself to you tonight." I caressed her cheeks with my hand. I fought hard not to cry. "After tonight, I'm going to leave you and Alicia alone. This will be my first and I want it to be you. Just promise me that you will forgive your sister."

I leaned towards her and kissed her lips. I sucked on her bottom lip. Her lips were now unmoving but I continued to kiss her.

"Please Lexa. Kiss me back." I begged between kisses. Her lips were still unmoving against mine.

I held her hand and placed it firmly on my waist but she just dropped her hands. I ignored it and continued to kiss her lips again. Then I moved against her neck, licking the soft skin there. There was no reaction from her that I felt a stabbing pain in my heart.

Please Lexa. Love me again. Just for tonight.

Tears were forming in my eyes but I tried so hard to stop it from flowing.

I tried to become bolder as I started to untie her robe as I kissed her unmoving lips again.

But Lexa's hands stopped me from untying her robe.

I looked back at her. "Why?" I asked. "Don't you want me anymore? You promised that you would love me no matter what happened. You promised Lexa!" I was on the verge of crying.

She didn't react at my sudden outburst.

"You told me you love me!" I said in a higher tone.

I attacked her again with kisses as I pushed her roughly on her bed. I immediately went on top of her but she just pushed me away. She stood up, and I hugged her so tightly. Her back against my front. She tried to remove my hands off her but I held on her firmly.

"Please Lexa…" I begged.

"I won't interfere with you and Alicia anymore. If that's what you want." she said. "You just proved to me how you love my sister that you're willing to sell yourself to me."

I shook my head, "No. I'm not----"

"As I've said, I'm backing off. I forgive your betrayal. You don't need to leave the school." she said while she removed my hands around her body and then she turned around to face me. "Please Clarke, just don't hurt her like what you did to me."

"Lexa…" I shook my head. I'm not in love with Alicia anymore. I'm in love with you. But no words came out of my mouth.

Lexa’s words cut like a knife inside my chest that I want to burst out crying.

I fell down on my knees.

You don’t understand! I’m in love with you, Lexa!

But she was gone.

 

* * *

 

"Clarke, stop thinking about her." Raven's voice made me stop staring across the cafè window. Raven leaned into me and wiped a tear on my cheek. It had been been two weeks since Lexa and I talked with each other in her room wherein I practically begged her to make love to me.

Without looking at Raven, I sighed. "I should have given myself to her that night when we're in the island, Raven. I should have."

Raven sat beside me and caressed my back, "No Clarke. It wouldn't be right. You were confused at that time. It would be so unfair for Lexa if you gave yourself to her that night, you were still unsure of your feelings for her at that time."

I bit my bottom lip. "If I gave myself to her that night, things would be different." I said, ignoring Raven.

"Clarke… stop blaming yourself for what happened. Everything happened for a reason. Maybe you and Lexa aren't…" Raven stopped mid sentence when I turned to face her.

"We aren't meant for each other?" I said, completing her sentence. The bitterness of my voice didn't go unnoticed by Raven. "Now that I thought of all the wonderful things she'd done to me, I can't help but to feel stupid, Raven. I'm so stupid for letting go a wonderful girl like her."

"You were confused.”

I ignored her and continued to reminisce, "Did you know that she waited 3 hours for me in the rain for our first date? She was soaking wet at that time. She got sick because of me!" tears fall down on my cheeks again as I remembered that day, "Lexa came back for me when I was beaten by students who accused me of cheating on her. I've hurt her at that time but she came back for me and believed me."

Raven wrapped me in her arms, "Oh… Clarke…”

"I've hurt her Raven, I've hurt her so much when I told her I'm in love with her sister. I broke her heart at the same day when she told me she loves me. I can't blame her if she doesn't want anything to do with me. She was acting like I'm not even existing anymore." The pain in my heart was unbearable. Lexa acted like I don't exist anymore. She wasn't even looking at me at school, even a glance. I can just observe her from far away. I can't even reach her now. I can't believe she let go of me that easily. She told me she would love me no matter what happens. But look at her now, she moved on already. She even changed her phone number.

I remembered the first time I bumped into her accidentally at the school corridor.

My mind was occupied with thoughts of Lexa so I wasn't looking when I accidentally bumped into someone.

It turns out it was Lexa. Our eyes met for a second but she looked away and walked past me.

I felt my heart ache once again as I followed her with my gaze.

"Clarke… Just be strong okay. You can forget all about her… in time…" Raven said, cutting my thoughts.

I shook my head, "I don't want to forget about her…"

Raven let out a deep breath. "Are you sure you're in love with Lexa now? How about her sister? Maybe you should spend time with Alicia now that Lexa gave you both a go signal."

I looked at Raven. "What I felt for Alicia before wasn't love Rae, now that I thought of it. I like her, yeah. But it wasn't love. I was hurt when I found out she was in love with Ofelia but the pain I felt when I lost Lexa was unbearable. I'm in love with Lexa. It's just too late when I realized it."

"Why don't you just tell her you're in love with her?" Raven suggested.

I looked at her then went back in staring at the window. "It's too late, Raven. She moved on already. She's not in love with me anymore."

"How sure are you?"

"I just know." I said sadly. "I lost my chance." I said softy.

* * *

 

For the past days, I made myself busy with school and my part-time job in The Ark. I need to earn money, and I need to distract myself from thinking about Lexa and the memories I had with her.  
I exhaled a deep breath, I heard she won a racing competition last Saturday and I went to congratulate her but she just nod her head and ignored me.

All of the students went to greet Lexa at the entrance hall of the school. I want to say my congratulations too so I approached her. I'm really proud of her.

"Uhmm… Hi." I began as I got near her. "Congratulations Lexa." I smiled at her.

Lexa looked at me, and nod her head. She didn't say anything as she turned to face Anya with a smile.

"Told you I will win." she said, smiling at Anya.

Anya nods her head at me and Octavia gave me a simple smile.

I wanted to cry but a hand on my shoulder stopped me from making a scene.

"Are you okay?"

I turned to face Alicia. I smiled at her. "Yeah. I'm okay."

"Clarke… I'm sorry. Do you want me to talk to my sister?" Alicia asked, concern laced on her voice.

I shook my head. I don't want her to get involved again. Now that they're okay, I don't want to ruin their relationship. "I'm okay." I smiled at her.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I still think this was all my fault." she said softly.

"No it isn't." I said, "I have to go now, I'm late for class. I just want to greet Lexa that's why I stayed here." I smiled at her.

Alicia nods her head, and smiled at me. I walked away trying to stop the tears from falling.

* * *

 


	13. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke fights for Lexa. Will Lexa forgive her?

Days passed by and I still can’t get over my feelings for Lexa. I was heartbroken. My heart shattered into pieces every single time Lexa ignored my presence.

Walking alone in the school made me feel like an outsider. I don’t have any friends. They treat me in a similar way Lexa treated me. An outsider. No one wants to talk to me. Not that I care. I just care about Lexa. I wanted her attention so bad that sometimes I feel like a total idiot.

Alicia was there for me. I could see the guilt in her eyes whenever she sees me making a fool of myself in front of her sister. The rooftop is still my sanctuary. Sometimes she sits with me in silence. But most of the time, I was alone.

Talking to Alicia makes me feel guilty of what happened with me and Lexa.

Looking at Alicia makes my heart break into pieces.

Being with Alicia makes me think of Lexa so badly.

And I do not want that to happened to me again. I can’t think of Lexa while Alicia was being a good friend to me and wishing that I was talking to her sister instead.

I don’t want to have a complicated friendship with Alicia. I do not want to be with Alicia while my heart is screaming for Lexa.

Funny how karma gets into your skin, huh.

I deserved this. I deserve to be broken like this.

But that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

I was on my way out of the cafeteria to go to the rooftop when I heard a very loud voice from none other than Lexa. Yes, she was back being the ruthless Commander again. They were issuing red tags again to students who get in their way.

I shook my head and walked away. I do not want to be involved anymore.

* * *

 

“You’re here.” Alicia smiled at me. She stood up from the floor to greet me.

I gave her a simple smile.

She must have noticed the sadness in my eyes again. “What happened? Did she ignore you again?”

I shook my head.

“Clarke.” She lifted my chin and forced me to look into her eyes. “I don’t want to see you like this.”

I pulled away from her, “I’m fine, Alicia.”

I heard her take a deep breath. “You love her.” It was a statement not a question.

I shook my head again, “It doesn’t matter.”

Alicia replied, “IT DOES MATTER! Tell her you love her, Clarke. Tell my sister that you’re in love with her.”

Tears fell down on my cheeks again, “I can’t. I’m scared, Alicia. I’m afraid that she would reject me again. I can’t handle it anymore. I’m already making a fool of myself.”

Alicia took my hand and gave me something. I gasped when I realized that it was the lost necklace that Lexa gave to me. My eyes were filled with tears when I looked at her. “You found it.”

“Yes. I went back last weekend to look for it and I’m glad that I found it. I know that this is very important to you and I promised you that I would find it no matter what.” Alicia said, smiling at me. “Tell her you still have her heart as much as she has yours, Clarke. Tell my sister that you love her.”

“I don’t know if I can…” I replied softly, tears brimmed in my eyes.

“I would like to invite you on our birthday this weekend. I think that would be a great opportunity for you to confess your love, Clarke.” Alicia said, smiling at me.

I bit my lip.

“You told me before that I should follow my heart right? I’m giving you the same advice now. Follow your heart, Clarke.” She said softly, wiping my tears away.

I couldn’t handle it anymore. I hugged Alicia so tightly. “Thank you.” I murmured.

She responded by locking me into her arms. “I would do anything for you, Clarke. Anything.” Alicia whispered softly.

Our moment was cut off when I heard the door slammed. I pulled away immediately. “What was that?”

Alicia shook her head. “I don’t know. It must be the wind.”

“Yeah. Probably.”

* * *

 

 

Opening my wallet, I counted the money I saved. With a smile on my face, I’m pretty sure that it’s enough to buy the bracelet for Lexa. Tomorrow is Lexa's birthday and I want to give her a special gift. I knew that this one is way cheaper than the necklace she gave to me, but I was hoping that she would accept it.

I'm going to confess my love for her tomorrow; I'm going to give her this bracelet together with my heart. I'm going to----

"Wow! That is pretty nice." A pretty girl with a very shiny black hair whispered to me, pointing at the bracelet (my bracelet) through the glass.

I looked at her, annoyed "I'm going to buy that one." I firmly said.

"Woah! No need to be grumpy about it. I'm not planning to buy that one. I think it's cheesy, with the hearts and all." She said, giggling.

I raised my eyebrow at her. "It's not cheesy. I think it's sweet." I defended the said jewelry.

She laughed at me, "Okay, okay! I'm just kidding. Your girlfriend will absolutely like it." then she winked at me.

"How come you know that it's for a girl?" I asked.

"Of course, I know. You wouldn't give that to a guy. It's too girly." she said then smiled.

I chuckled. "Yeah. You're right."

"One lucky girl." she said, "You're obviously in love with her."

I laughed. "Right. Totally whipped." I said, nodding my head, trying to be jolly about it. I can't just pour out my feelings to a stranger. "I'm Clarke, by the way."

"Costia." she said, extending her hand for me. I took it.

"Nice to meet you." I said then smiled at her. I looked again at the silver bracelet. I’m going to buy this. I hope Lexa will accept my gift.

“Nice to meet you too, Clarke. I just arrived in California. I do not have friends here actually. Would you mind showing me around?” she smiled at me, giving me those puppy eyes.

I smiled back. “Sure. I’ll just buy this bracelet and I’ll show you around.”

“Cool.” She said and gave me a thumbs up.

* * *

 

Lexa. I want to see Lexa. Where is she?

"They're like extremely rich. Imagine, they own a cruise ship like this. This is so beautiful!" Raven said, obviously excited. She can't seem to stop blabbering how amazingly rich the Woods are.

I looked at her, obviously annoyed. "You've said that for like a million times already, Raven."

Raven chuckled, "I did? Sorry. I was just amazed how elegant and grand this party is. Where the hell are the birthday girls anyway?"

"That's the one thing I want to know about." I said, looking everywhere. There were lots of pretty girls invited in this party. And I can't help but feel jealous that one of them might capture Lexa's heart. I shook my head, no! It can't happen. Lexa is mine.

The music changed, and I felt my heart beats faster than it should.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I hope you're enjoying the party as we welcome you to the “NightBlood”, a cruise ship owned by Woods Corp." Indra said, smiling at the people around her. "And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for, may I present to you, Lexa and Alicia Woods.”

The lights went out except for the two spotlights in both sides of the stage. The curtain on both sides opened thus revealing the twins. On the right side is Lexa, with a black sleeveless dress with a really low neckline revealing her cleavage and a very high slit on the side. Her brunette hair is braided and it makes her look more gorgeous than ever. She was looking at the crowd like a royalty.

Alicia was on the left side wearing a long white tube dress that fits perfectly on her body. Her hair is down and cascades on her shoulders. They both looked amazingly perfect.

Anya and Octavia stood from where they were seated and approached the twins in the center. Anya offered her arm to Lexa while Octavia offered hers to Alicia. They danced at the middle of the dance floor. They were the official escort of the twins.

Jealousy filled within me but I convinced myself that they were just friends. They treat each other like sisters. I can’t be jealous of their friendship besides I don’t have the right anyway.

* * *

 

My palms are sweating as I waited for Lexa to be available. My eyes never left hers as I watched her dancing with different girls. The jealousy builds up inside me and I have to fight the urge to walk towards her and grab her hand. I do not want to embarrass her in front of many people. And as I’ve said, I do not have the right.

“Clarke, are you okay? If looks could kill, the girls that danced with the Commander were probably dead right now.” Raven whispered to me.

“I just want to be alone with her, Raven.” I exhaled a deep breath. “I’m going to confess my feelings to her.”

Raven was shock. “Are you sure?”

I nod. “I need to do this, Raven. I need to be honest with her. I’m in love with her.”

Raven smiled at me. “Then go for it. You have my full support.”

The music stopped and all I could hear was my heart beating rapidly. This is the moment.

The door at the entrance hall opened and a very sophisticated woman walked in. She went straight to Lexa and Alicia. She gave them both a kiss and a hug.

“Who is she?” Raven murmured.

“I don’t have any idea.” I replied.

“Good evening. My name is Nia Woods. The mother of Alicia and Lexa Woods.” The woman announced. “Happy Birthday my beautiful daughters!”

Oh! So this is their cold-hearted mother? She looks scary and screams authority.

“I would like to take this opportunity to announce the engagement of my daughter, Lexa Woods, to the only daughter of the Azgeda family, the hotel heiress, Costia Azgeda.”

Everyone was silent.

My knees felt weak.

Engagement?

Lexa and Costia?

Costia Azgeda?

“Clarke, are you okay?” Raven asked but my mind was spinning. “Clarke! Clarke!”

My mind went blank.

* * *

 

Slowly, I opened my eyes. Where am I? What happened? I tried to stand up but I felt dizzy again.

“Don’t stand up yet.”

“Lexa?”

My eyes went wide open at the thought of Lexa alone with me here in this unknown room. “What happened?”

“You were out for 3 hours.” She said, her cold voice made my heart bleed again.

“What happened to me?” I asked dumbly. The last thing I remembered was… “Y-You’re engaged.”

“I think that’s none of your business, Clarke.” She stood up.

I caught her wrist. “Why are you here?” I asked. That means something right? She still cares about me.

She pulled away from my grip. “The party is over. Raven is outside waiting for you. Octavia will drive you to the hospital.”

I breathe hard and stood up. “I need to tell you something. Please.”

She wasn’t looking at me. But I continued. I reached out for my pocket and handed her a small box. “Happy Birthday Lexa. I brought you a gift.” I smiled at her. “I know it’s not that expensive but…”

“What are you doing, Clarke?” Her eyes filled with rage.

“What do you mean?” I walked towards her. She took a step back.

"Stop doing this, okay? Just stop!"

"Lexa…"

"I'm trying so hard to forget you okay? And you are not making it easy for me. You hurt me, Clarke! You broke my heart! I loved you but you just wasted my love for you! I can't help but to think that while you were kissing me before, you're thinking of my sister! My sister, Clarke! While you were with me, you were wishing that it should be Alicia and not me! Don’t you understand what I feel every time I think of those moments when I was with you? I don't want to be your second choice, Clarke! Do you understand me?"

My tears fell down as I listened to her pain.

"I almost died Clarke. The boat that I used to get out of that island stopped in the middle of nowhere. For two days, I didn't eat anything. I do not want to come back and see you again. I felt betrayed, Clarke and it was the worst feeling I’ve ever felt. Good thing that the private rescue team my friends hired found me but I told them not to tell my friends that they found me already. I told them to dropped me off to the nearest island and leave me there for another 5 days. I just want to be alone. I just want to forget everything; I just want to forget the pain in my heart. I never thought that there would be a time that I would hate this face. I hate it because I looked exactly alike with Alicia and now I know that was just the reason that you pretended that you like me!" Lexa said with tears in her eyes. I just want to hug her so I leaned in and hugged her. She pushed me away. "Please Clarke. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to feel that pain again! It's unbearable and I don't want to happen again! Love is weakness. And I don’t want to be weak. I am a Woods. I cannot be weak."

Listening to her, I cried so hard because I could feel the pain in her heart, I never thought that I hurt her so much like this that it ruined her. I never thought that I was capable of hurting someone as precious as her.

"Just please, I'm begging you, I want you to stay away from----"

"I love you…" I whispered softly that made her stop. "I love you Lexa." I said as I searched her eyes while my fist was planted on my chest. My heart was breaking. The pain was unbearable. "Please give me a chance to love you again."  
She was silent and just staring blankly at me.

I leaned into her and pulled her neck against mine. I kissed her feverishly. It took her a while before she responds and when she did, my heart jumped in joy.

Oh god, I missed her kisses. I missed the way she slid her tongue against my mouth. I missed the way she held on my waist so tight that I don't want her to let me go. I missed the way she massage my tongue with her own. I missed the way she angled her head so she could give me a better access on her mouth. I miss the way her lips------

She pushed me gently and with that our lips parted, "It's too late, Clarke… I can't give my heart to you again."

"Why?" I asked, my lips trembled as I held on to her shoulders for dear life.

She took a deep breath, "I don't want to go back again." she shook her head. "I don't want to be vulnerable again when it comes to you. One word from you can hurt me and I guess I'm not ready for that again. I don't want to love you anymore."

Her words cut deeply inside my chest that I knelt in front of her. "Please Lexa. Please love me again. I won't hurt you anymore. Just please." I begged. My tears were unstoppable.

She held both of my shoulders as she guided me to stand up, then she held my hand and gave the bracelet back to me. "I can't accept this."

"No! This is for you, Lexa."

She smiled at me, and wiped my tears with her fingers, "I cannot accept this. I cannot give myself to you or anyone. I’m broken Clarke. There is no room for love in my heart. I will just hurt you.”

"But I love you. I will wait for you, Lexa.” I cried.

“You can’t wait forever. I’m sorry.”

Those were Lexa’s last words to me before she left.

And that made my whole world crashed down.

Apparently, that wasn’t the last heartache I felt that involved Lexa.

* * *

 

Three days later, I was on my way out of Polis Academy when I saw her.

Lexa. Lexa with Costia

It was painful seeing them this close to each other. It feels like I couldn’t breathe. Lexa was frowning at Costia but she didn’t pushed her away when she hugged her from behind, licking her ear in the process that made Lexa’s whole face reddened like tomato.

That gesture nearly killed me. Lexa doesn’t belong to me anymore but I couldn’t help but feel jealous that another girl’s hands were placed firmly on Lexa's shoulder.

Clenching my fist, I turned around. I don't want to see her with another girl.

"Clarke! Clarke! You’re here!"

Shit! Did she just call my name?

I turned around. "Hey." I fake smiled.

"You still remember me, right? The girl in the jewelry store?" she said, pointing at herself.

I nod my head, "Yeah. I remember you of course."

"Good." then she placed her hands on my shoulders, and motioned me to walk with her towards Lexa. Lexa’s face was stoic as usual.

My eyes met Lexa’s, "I hope you too knew each other because you both study in the same school. Anyway, Clarke, I want you to meet my fiancée. Lexa Woods. She and I are getting married after her graduation and I'm so excited about it!" she said that made my heart cried in pain. Is this really happening? Is this the reason why Lexa doesn't want to be with me? She is already getting married? To Costia?

My eyes met Lexa’s stoic ones. My heart clenched.

“Yeah, we knew each other.” I cleared my throat and looked at Lexa, “Congratulations then.” I said unemotionally. “You both are perfect for each other.” I added and gave Costia a fake smile. “Anyway, I need to go. I have some errands to do.” I was controlling my tears as I walked away.

"Wait!" Costia called and grabbed my arm. "Can I come with you? I don't have anything to do. Lexa is being an asshole." She glared at Lexa, which the brunette ignored.

Ugh. What have I gotten myself into? “Uhhhh….”

“Please. You are my only friend here in Cali.” Costia was persistent.

“Okay.”

* * *

 

"She is Lexa's future wife, huh?" Raven whispered to me.

I nod my head; Costia is busy eating at one of the tables of the café where Raven is working.

"But are you sure she is like super rich? Because the way she eats, there is no elegance in it." Raven chuckled.

I looked at Costia again and shook my head. Raven was right.

“You were at the party. She is an heiress.”

"I still think that Lexa wouldn't like her. Come on, your way more beautiful than her." Raven said, as she elbowed me.

"Yeah right. Way to boost my ego." I huffed that made Raven rolled her eyes, "Like seriously, don't you have eyes or whatsoever? She is really pretty."

"You are too." Raven interrupted.

I took a deep breath, "She is the daughter of a multi-millionaire family."

Silence.

"And… most of all, she didn't hurt Lexa which I did.” My eyes lowered as I bit my lip.

Raven was silent again.

“It hurts, Rae.” I said softly.

“I know.” Raven caressed my shoulder to comfort me.

"Clarke!" Costia called.

I walked towards her, "Yeah?"

"Let's go shopping!" she said, wiping her mouth.

I shook my head, "I'm with Raven and we're…"

"She can come with us." she said, excitedly.

"No. I don't think…" I shook my head again trying to think of a valid reason.

"Please…" she pouted in front of me. "Pretty please?"

Ugh. "Okay. I'll tell Raven." I said.

Then with one swift move, she hugged me tightly. "Thanks… I really want to be your friend, Clarke,"

* * *

 

"She said she wants to be your friend?" Raven asked me incredulously.

"Yeah." I said.

We were at the mall waiting for Costia to buy something.

"Is she serious? Like really fucking serious? Because you know what, you can't be friend with her. She is the future wife of your love! How can you two be friends?" Raven huffed that made me wince at her choice of words. Future wife? Oh god, it can't be true right?

"Shhh. She doesn't know that yet." I scolded Raven.

"Hey Clarke" Costia called, she was holding two different outfit. "What is Lexa’s type? The seductive hot chic one or the girl next door type?" she asked, showing me the two gorgeous and expensive dresses.

I was speechless at first but then Raven elbowed me. “Uhmmm. Lexa doesn't have a type in particularly, but maybe she doesn't like the flirty ones, so I choose… uhm… the girl next door type."

Costia smiled, "Got it! Thanks Clarke" then she hurriedly went to the counter.

"Oh god!" Raven shook her head in dismay. "Seriously?"

I just gave her a sad smile.

* * *

 

“That is beautiful.”

I turned around. Alicia was standing outside of the art room. I felt the need to cover my work.

“You don’t need to cover it up. It was beautiful.” She smiled as she walked towards me.

“It’s Lexa.” I replied, lowering my head.

“I know.” She said with a hint of sadness in her voice. I turned around to face her.

“I could make a new one for you.” I offered.

Alicia smiled. “No, it’s fine. You don’t have to.”

“I didn’t give you a birthday present. I could paint another one for you.” I said, smiling at her.

Alicia ignored me. “Are you planning to give this to her?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Why?” she asked.

“She won’t accept it anyway.” I replied.

“I’ll accept it and pretend that it’s me.” Alicia sat beside me. I looked at her.

“I-I… That’s unfair for you, Alicia. I could paint you a new one.” I said, frowning.

“This is fine if you want to give it to me. This was created with so much passion. I don’t want it to go to waste.” She said.

Then I found myself nodding. “Okay.”

Alicia smiled at me. “Thanks Clarke.” She placed her hand on my shoulder.

“Thank you for appreciating my work.” I said softly.

"You are sad again." she said.

I nod my head and stood up. "Don't worry, I'll live." I said softly.

"I wanted to ask you this but I don't know how to bring it up." she said, her eyes avoiding me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Do you… I mean… Did you… Were you really in love with me… before?" she asked and I noticed her cheeks were red.

I chuckled a bit even though I felt my cheeks reddened in embarrassment. This is awkward.

"You don't have to answer if you don't feel like it. I was just curious." she said.

"I can answer that.”

"Okay.”

I smiled, "Well, I think I started to like you when you wiped my slushied face at the rooftop."

She laughed, "Yeah. You were so cute with that slushied face of yours."

I slapped her arm; "You were so nice to me even though I always managed to disturb you in your sleep." It was my turn to smile at her.

"But why did you practically pushed me with Ofelia?"

I looked at her deeply into her eyes. "Because I want you to be happy. I don't want to see the sadness in your eyes.. And I know you love her with all your heart. I just want you to be happy with her."

"Even if it breaks your heart?"

"Yeah. I handled that before." I said, looking away.

"Why can’t you handle it now with Lexa?" she asked.

I slowly shook my head. "I had hurt your sister so deeply. I was the one to be blamed here because I wasn’t honest. I should have told her before we got close.”

"And then you started to have feelings for her the more you spent time with her?"

I nod my head, and looked away, "Yeah. She was different. She was arrogant with other people but she was so sweet when it comes to me. She was so protective. She believed in me before when Echo framed me up. Do you know that?"

"Yeah. Anya and Octavia told me about that." she said.

"She came back for me at that time. She was hurt, I know, but she believed in me. But when she saw me with you and I told her you were the girl I was in love with…." I choked a sob. "She was hurt. She doesn’t want to love me anymore. She thinks that I could still hurt her but the truth is, I can’t. I am the one hurting now. And it’s my fault. I deserved this.”

She wrapped me in her arms, "Shhhh… Don't cry Clarke… Lexa still loves you. I know that."

"Then why is she marrying Costia? Why? Tell me Alicia. Why is your sister marrying her if she still loves me?" I asked, wiping my tears.

"She doesn't want to marry her." she said firmly. “Lexa is not going to marry Costia. It was my mother’s plan all along. She wants Lexa to marry the hotel heiress for business purposes. Lexa would never marry her, Clarke.”

I want to believe in Alicia's words. But I don’t know if I can.

“Does it matter?” I asked sadly. “Lexa doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.”

 

* * *

 

 

We were walking down the entrance hall of the school when I saw Lexa and Costia.

It was heartbreaking. That was the bullet that killed me from inside. That was the last straw.

I stood there, speechless. Lexa was kissing Costia in front of the school, for everyone to see. Costia’s arms were wrapped around at the back of Lexa’s neck.

They were kissing passionately that I froze. My heart broke into pieces. I can’t handle this anymore. Tears threatened to escape as I watched the scene unfold within my eyes.

Suddenly, Alicia wrapped me in her arms and hugged me so tightly, "Don't look,…" she whispered softly. "Don't look Clarke. Close your eyes. Don’t look…"

I bit my lip as tears started to fall down against my cheeks. I hugged her back so tightly in return. "Please get me out of here… Please Alicia. Please get me out of here…"

* * *

 

Alicia took me home. She let me cry endlessly inside her car. I felt pathetic. But I was glad Alicia was there to comfort me. But it still hurts, nevertheless.

"Mom! Dad! I'm home." As I opened the door, I was shock to see Nia Woods sitting elegantly in our couch.

"Glad that you're home Ms. Griffin." she formally said.

My mom and dad were sitting across from her and I can almost feel the tension coming up.

I sat beside them. “What are you doing here, Mrs. Woods?”

"Very well. Now that you are finally here. I can discuss things with you." then she raised her hand and the man wearing a black suit that looks like a bodyguard moved towards her as she opened the black suitcase in front of us.

The black suitcase was filled with lots and lots of money that I heard my parents gasped in surprise.

"100 million dollars." Mrs. Woods said with a smile.

I looked at her. 100 fucking million dollars? For what?

"Leave the state. Leave the country. And leave my daughters alone." she said that made my eyes widen in shock. “I don’t know what is it about you that make my daughters crazy.”

My parents were speechless. I was speechless. I was so angry that I felt numb all over my body. This woman just insulted me and my family.

Because we didn't have any sort of response, Nia Woods stood up with a triumphant smile on her face.

"Wait!" My dad said in a higher tone that made me turned to look at him. "We don't need your money Mrs. Woods. So take your money elsewhere because we don't need that! We may not be rich like you but we have dignity. And I will not let you insult my daughter! Get out of my house!”

“You’re going to regret this.” She gritted her teeth.

“Leave. NOW!” Dad repeated.

As soon as Lexa’s mother left the house, my dad hugged me. “Are you okay, kid?”

I made my decision. My heart was falling apart. I can’t do this anymore.

“Dad, remember when you told me you have a job offer in Australia weeks ago?”

“Yes. But you told me you want to finish school first.” He said.

“Let’s leave this country dad.” I said firmly.

My mom caressed my cheeks, “What happened? Why do you want to leave? Is it because of that bitch that came here? I’m sure Lexa wouldn’t allow her mother to manipulate her.”

My parents don’t know about what happened to me and Lexa. I was ashamed to tell them.

“Let’s leave mom. Lexa and I were over. I just… I just want to leave and forget everything… Please…”

My parents hugged me and my tears fell down again.

This is for the best. I need to fix myself. Leaving everything behind is the best solution.

Goodbye Lexa.

You will always be the love of my life.

 

**END OF PART 1**


	14. PART II: Seven Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke comes back in the United States after seven years...

“We now arrived at Seattle, Washington. Thank you for boarding with us.”

Clarke took a deep breath as she removed her seatbelt. It had been seven years since she set her foot back in the United States. Her parents went back to California a year ago but she decided to stay in Melbourne. She loved the city and the country. She didn’t want to go but her professor persuaded her to take an internship in Grey+Sloan Memorial Hospital. Frankly speaking, it would be a great opportunity to pursue her career as a Neurosurgeon. Her professor recommended Dr. Amelia Shepherd, one of the best neurosurgeon in the country aside from her departed brother. Besides, Dr. Arizona Robbins is her cousin. She also convinced her to take the internship. Clarke decided that she wouldn’t waste this opportunity just because of her past. Just because she was afraid to see her. It had been seven years anyway. And she wasn’t sure if they would cross paths. She is probably happily married now that Clarke thinks of it.

She moved on already. Past will certainly remain in the past. She was young and naïve. She was hurt. But she grew strong. She won’t let her past ruin this beautiful opportunity for her career.

“Clarke!”

She heard her friend Raven screamed her name.

Her smile grew wide as she saw her best friend. She and Raven didn’t lose any communication for the past years. Raven was also one of the reasons that persuaded her to come back.

“Oh my god. You look awesome, mate!” Raven grinned; trying to mimic an Aussie accent, which made Clarke, rolled her eyes.

“My American accent is still intact, Rae.” She said, smiling.  
Raven pouted. “Aww. Clarke with an Australian accent would be hotter.”

Clarke shook her head and hugged Raven instead. “I miss you.” She said.

Raven hugged her tightly, “I’m glad you're back.”

The blonde pulled away. “Me too.”

Raven gave her a teasing smile. “So, no girlfriend tailing behind you?”

Clarke laughed. “You know that I never had one. I’m busy with school and work, Rae.”

“I thought you were joking every single time you evade my questions about love.” Raven was frowning.

Clarke shook her head. “I’m fine. I don’t need someone to make me feel better. I’m happy and I believe that’s the important thing right.”

“Okay. I just----“

“Don’t go there. I’m happy now. I don’t need a reminder, Raven.”

Raven took a deep breath. After 7 years, her friend didn’t open herself for possibility of love. Clarke is 24 years old now and she wished that her friend would find happiness with someone who will treat her amazingly and will never ever hurt her.

“Let’s go Rae. I’m starving.” Clarke said, looking at her friend.

Raven gave her a wide smile and nodded.

* * *

 

“Ms. Woods, your 2:00 just arrived.” Her secretary reminded her. Lexa almost rolled her eyes at the trembling voice of her latest assistant. But her stoic appearance prevented her to. Her staffs were tired of finding a new assistant for her every week.

Lexa Woods is the youngest CEO of Woods Corp. After her mother died in a plane crash 5 years ago, she took her place immediately. She is known for her ruthlessness and authority. The boards chose Lexa as the CEO rather than Alicia because of her birthright. And they believe Lexa is more suitable CEO than her twin sister.

On the other hand, Alicia Woods is the Vice President of the company and she also handles their other businesses. Alicia also manages the famous VIP club “THE GROUNDERS”, in which Anya, Octavia and Lexa are co-owners.

“I’ll be there.” Lexa said, stood up and made her way towards the door. Again, she almost rolled her eyes at her assistant who looks like she might passed out any moment.

* * *

 

“We’re glad that you have grace us with your presence, Commander.” Anya remarked, clearly teasing the brunette.

Octavia laughed as Lexa rolled her eyes. After the meeting with the foreign investors, she went straight to THE GROUNDERS.

She sat down beside Octavia and motioned them to let their newest conquest leave the table.

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Really? Come on! Why are you allergic to girls, Lexa? You should try to have some.” She grinned.

Anya and Octavia’s girls left the table but after giving the two a tongue-kiss. Lexa rolled her eyes at her friends’ antics.

“You should not treat girls like a freaking food, Octavia.” She said in that stoic voice of hers.

Octavia and Anya laughed. “Oh my god. It never gets better.” They both said in unison.

“No wonder you’re still a virgin at the age of fucking twenty five, Lex!” Anya laughed.

“Chill, Lexa. You should have at least tried one.” Octavia grinned. “Women throw themselves at you, Commander. You should try to bed one.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “I do not have time for that.”

Anya rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, Lex.”

“Where is my sister?”

“She will be here in a moment. She just went to the restroom.” Octavia replied.

“Is she okay?” Lexa asked. Alicia broke up with her girlfriend last week after finding out that the woman just wants money from her sister.

“She will live. Besides, Alicia didn’t love that bitch anyway. She was just too kind to broke it off without any reason whatsoever.” Anya replied.

“Being a Woods means surrounded by gold-digging…” She gritted her teeth at the memory. The memory of the girl she wants to bury in her mind.

“Come on Lex. You don’t believe that about… she-who-shall-not-be-named.” Anya said in a serious tone. “Your mom was a conniving bitch. She just made that up.”

“She left, didn’t she?” She replied then shook her head. “I don’t know what to believe. I know for a fact that she wouldn’t do that, but then she managed to hurt… “ She stopped herself, “you know what happened.”

Octavia shook her head. “Is she STILL the reason why you don’t let yourself opened up with someone, Lexa? Because that is super lame. That was high school, Woods. Seven fucking years ago! Almost everyone messed things up when they were in high school.”

Lexa took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about it, Octavia.” She dismissed.

Anya and Octavia gave each other a meaningful glance.

Alicia arrived at their table after a while. “Lexa, you’re finally here.” She greeted.

“Too much work at the office.” Lexa replied. “I need you to find me another assistant.” She said.

“AGAIN?” Anya and Octavia both gave her an unbelievable look.

Lexa crossed her arms. “She always has this look on her face that kinda bothers me. I might be the reason if she ever gets an heart attack.”

Alicia rolled her eyes. “Try to be nicer, next time.” She commented.

“I am nice!” She defended.

“No, you’re not.” Octavia laughed. “You are one scary boss, Woods.”

* * *

“This is actually nice.” Clarke commented as soon as she enters her new fully furnished apartment. “It’s comfy.”

Raven gave herself a pat on her back. “Thanks to me.”

Clarke walked towards the balcony as she breathed in. “I like the view. You did great finding me a very nice apartment Rae. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Clarke.” Raven smiled. “Now, will you do the honor and feed me? A pizza would be nice. Your luggage was really heavy, you know that right?”

Clarke chuckled. “Alright. I’m going to order pizza.”

* * *

For a month, Clarke developed a routine.

Work and Home.

She loves being in the hospital and learning new things from Dr. Amelia Shepherd. The woman was a good teacher. She also loves working with different surgeon but her main focus is being a Neurosurgeon.

“Griffin, you’re in my service today.” Dr. Arizona Robbins told her. “You will love it, I promise.”

Clarke gathered Dr. Robbins charts. “It will be my pleasure, Dr. Robbins.” She said as she followed her.

When they finished doing rounds, Arizona said, “You are very good at this, Clarke. Dr. Shepherd was right. I’m glad that you’re here. Send my regards to your mom.”

“Thank you, Arizona.” She smiled.

“So, how was Australia? I heard it’s a nice country.” The older blonde said.

“It was good. I love it there.”

“You were born in Cali right? So, did you miss California while you were there in Melbourne?” Arizona asked her.

Clarke smiled. She was trying so hard to forget about the past but sometimes it fails. “Yeah but there are some things I want to forget about Cali.”

Arizona frowned. “Something happened? Your mother didn’t tell me anything except for the fact that your father had a job offer that’s why you all moved there.”

Clarke smiled and let out a deep breath. “It’s a long story.”

Arizona nodded, “Maybe someday you could tell me about it.”

Clarke smiled. “Probably.”

“Hi Dr. Robbins. Clarke.” Another intern greet them.

“Hi Niylah.” Clarke smiled. Arizona smiled too.

Niylah blushed as she walked away.

“That girl has a crush on you.” Arizona commented with a smirk.

Clarke rolled her eyes. “No. That’s just your imagination.” She laughed.

“Oh. Don’t be too oblivious, Clarke.” Arizona smiled. “She is into you. My gaydar is really strong.”

Clarke laughed. “Shut up. We’re just friends. Niylah is fine. I’m just not into relationships.”

Arizona chuckled. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, little Griffin.”

That made Clarke laugh.

* * *

  
“I’m on my way, Anya.” Lexa said, clearly annoyed at Anya’s calls every minute. She was driving when Anya called her again.

“What’s taking you so long?” Anya’s voice was frustrated.

“What is this about? You are being a jerk. I told you I was in a meeting.” She said. “Can’t you wait?”

“I need to tell you about something. It’s extremely important.” Anya emphasized it.

“What is it about? Just tell me now.” She said.

“I saw shhdshsshshshshs”

“What? I don’t understand.” Lexa furrowed her eyebrows.

“I SAID I SAW shajhajddhaghsghgdfgsfdgsfdgsfdgs”

“The signal is off. I’ll call you later, Anya.” She turned it off, shaking her head. Her friend is really crazy sometimes.

Her phone rang again. She answered it. “Woods.”

“Ms. Woods. Are you on your way to your dinner meeting with the Korean Investors?”

“Shit!” Lexa rolled her eyes. “I forgot! Damn it!”

“Ms. Woods?”

“I’ll be there.” She ended the call.

Lexa made a sharp U turn when she miscalculated.

* * *

 

Clarke went out to buy groceries when she heard a crashing sound.

As a doctor, she immediately went to the scene. The car was upside down. Clarke saw a woman trapped inside. She dropped her grocery bag and crouched to see if the woman was still breathing.

“Mam? Are you alright? Talk to me. I’m a doctor.”

“I’m stuck. I can’t breathe.”

That voice.

Clarke shook her head. She needs to focus on what is happening right now. She called 911 and then she went back to talk to the woman to make sure she’s still conscious.

“Mam, I already called 911 but for the meantime, I’ll help you get out.” She tried to open the car door and to her relief, she was able to open it.

The woman wasn’t responding anymore.

The door was opened and her breath was caught in her throat when she saw the bleeding woman.

“Oh my god! Lexa!” she gasped in horror.

* * *

 

“We need Oxygen here.”

“Prepare the Defibrillator.”

“Page Dr. Shepherd.”

Clarke was still doing compressions while Lexa was being transported. “Lexa! Come on!”

“Dr. Griffin. We’ll take over.” Dr. Owen Hunt said as she guided Clarke out of the table.

“I know her. I know her.” Clarke said, her voice was trembling.

“What is her name?” Dr. April Kepner asked.

“L-Lexa. Lexa Woods.” She said softly.

* * *

 

Lexa was in the OR when Anya, Octavia and Alicia arrived.

“I’m here for Lexa Woods. She had an accident earlier. I’m her sister.” Alicia said.

“She is in the OR right now.” The nurse answered.

“Is she okay?” Anya asked.

“Is there anyone that we could talk to with regards to her condition?” Octavia asked. They were in full panic mode.

“Alicia?”

Alicia recognized that voice. She turned around. “Clarke?”

Clarke nodded. They all looked at her. She was filled with blood.

Alicia walked towards her. “What happened?”

“I saw Lexa. She was in an accident. I----“

“Dr. Griffin.”

Clarke turned around when she heard Dr. Amelia Shepherd called her. “You knew the patient?”

Clarke nodded. “What happened to her? Is she okay?”

“I’m her sister.” Alicia said. “I’m Alicia Woods. What happened to my sister?”

Dr. Amelia Shepherd looked at them. “The patient is in the ICU. The surgery is successful. I was able to remove the blood clots in her brain. She is safe.”

“Oh my god! Thank you doctor!” Anya, Octavia and Alicia breathed out in relief.

“We have to thank Dr. Griffin for delivering the patient to us. She had a cardiac arrest and Clarke was there to revived her.”

“Thank you.” Alicia hugged Clarke. “Thank you, Clarke.”

Clarke wrapped her arms around Alicia. Relief flooded on her mind now that Lexa is safe.

Alicia asked, “When can we see her?”

“Right this way.”

* * *

 

Clarke was looking at Lexa’s serene face. She didn’t know what to feel, if she was being honest to herself. She was just glad that Lexa is alive.

Clarke tries to ignore her speeding heartbeat. This is neither the time nor the place for her to give in, to whatever this is. It had been seven years, Clarke! Lexa is already married, for god’s sake!

Seeing Lexa after seven years is just… overwhelming.

“When did you come back?” Alicia asked her as soon as Octavia and Anya left to get some coffee.

Her throat goes dry. “A couple of months.”

“I see.” Alicia nodded. She caressed Lexa’s hand. “Thank you for saving her.”

Clarke looked away. “I was in the scene of the accident. I didn’t know that it was her.”

Alicia looked at her. She could sense Clarke’s discomfort. “You left without saying goodbye.” Her tone was soft but Clarke felt the accusation behind it.

“It was necessary.” Clarke replied.

“Necessary for what?” Alicia asked.

“Let’s not talk about the past, Alicia.” Clarke stared at her.

Alicia nodded.

“Where is Costia?” Clarke asked, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Lexa’s wife.”

Alicia said in a serious tone. “You didn’t know.”

“What?” Clarke frowned.

“Lexa never married her.”

Clarke breathed. “Oh.”

“You thought that she would marry Costia. That’s why you left. We saw them kissing seven years ago and you realized that---“

Lexa started to move her hand from Alicia’s. She was opening her eyes.

“Lexa.” Alicia was on her left side in an instant while Clarke was on her right.

Lexa slowly opened her eyes and was met by a pair of ocean blue eyes. She smiled that made Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. “I like your eyes.” It was the first thing she said.

“How do you feel?” Clarke asked.

“Hurts. Hurts all over.” She answered. Her throat was dry.

“Do you remember what happened?” Clarke asked. Alicia was silent.

Lexa shook her head slowly. “No.”

Clarke took a deep breath.

“You’re really beautiful.” Lexa said softly despite the dryness of her throat. “Who are you? Are you an angel?”

Clarke shook her head. Alicia’s eyes were wide.

“Lexa.” Alicia called.

Lexa turned to her left. “Who is Lexa?” Lexa asked.

Clarke and Alicia looked at each other as they predicted what is happening with Lexa.

* * *

 

 


	15. Another Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting a little complicated with Clarke and Lexa's situation.

"So what do we do now?" Anya sighed. "This is not happening." She shook her head to emphasize her previous words.

"The important thing is that my sister is alive." Alicia replied and sat down on the bed. Once again, she stared at her sleeping sister. It had been three hours since they discovered Lexa's present condition and still, she couldn't believe it. Her twin sister, the business tyrant Lexa Woods was gone in a flash. Alicia was worried and scared of what will happen to her sister now.

"Maybe it will just be temporary?" Octavia said hopefully.

Alicia sighed. "The doctor told me that it might be temporary or permanent. It depends on Lexa's condition. She said we couldn't force her to remember. I was making her remember earlier even the smallest things and she had a massive headache."

"And then she doesn't remember Clarke Griffin, you say?" Anya raised her eyebrows.

Alicia swallowed hard. "Yes."

Anya crossed her arms. "The girl that made Lexa's heart cold and guarded is BACK." She said it with sarcasm.

Alicia looked at her. "It's not Clarke's fault, Anya." She said, her eyebrows furrowing.

They had an intense staring contest for a few seconds. Octavia noticed the tension and cut it. "Can we not talk about the past anymore? That was fucking seven years ago." Anya rolled her eyes but Octavia won't have it. "Clarke probably moved on. Lexa moved on." She continued.

"Is Lexa really?" Anya raised her eyebrow again. "Because from what I observed for the past seven years was that she never moved on." She quipped as she stared back at Octavia, daring her to say anything.

"Anya, Octavia, please." Alicia stood up between them. "This is neither the time nor the place to talk about what happened in high school. Maybe Clarke could help Lexa in remembering things. She is one of her doctors anyway." She said, but felt her heart clenched painfully at the thought. She ignored it.

"Fine." Anya stepped backward. "Our mission is to bring back Lexa's memory. Whatever it takes."

Octavia nodded.

 

* * *

 

Clarke saw her fellow interns at the cafeteria. After she bought food, she went to their table.

Their topic was about Lexa Woods. It's too late for Clarke to back out.

"Hey Clarke. It's good to see you here. We need to know all the juicy details from your new patient." Iris West said, grinning at her.

"Who?" She asked.

Caitlyn Snow rolled her eyes. "Who else would it be? We want to know all about the four sexiest women alive."

Clarke almost choked, "What do you mean?"

Thea Queen, the girl on her right side, handed her a magazine. Clarke was still confused so Thea started explaining. "Have you not read this before?" She asked and Clarke shook her head. "They call themselves the Grounder Four. The media call them the Billionaire Heiress and they were listed as the top 4 Sexiest Women alive in every magazine for years."

Clarke finally had the chance to look at the article devoted to the Grounders. Her heart did a somersault as she saw Lexa Woods in a suit. She nearly had a heart attack as she saw the photo of Lexa in a weird black costume with war paint all over her eyes. The commander, it says in the caption. It was HOT.

"Hot, isn't she?" Iris reacted as she leaned into Clarke. "That is one of my favorites actually. She looks so hot and sexy there. Thank god and whoever did this photo-shoot. Lexa is the number one sexiest woman alive. This is a very good proof." She said as she stared dreamily at Lexa's picture.

"I don't know about you all but I like Alicia better. She has this very kind aura that her sister lack thereof. Look at this picture." Caitlyn showed her an Alicia picture wherein she was wearing a modern looking black leather pants and a jacket as she carried a rifle. "She doesn't need to be the Commander but she obviously can command anyone."

"I like them all." Thea replied. "Octavia Blake and Anya Forrest are hot too." Thea showed Clarke the two pages wherein Octavia is in the third spot while Anya is on the fourth spot. They were also wearing a costume with war paint on.

All of them are gorgeous, if Clarke is going to be honest with herself.

"What do you think Clarke?" Iris asked.

Clarke gulped nervously. Should she tell them the truth or not? "They're okay." She said simply.

"Okay? That's all you can say?" Caitlyn reacted.

"You're not into girls." Thea said slowly.

Clarke smiled. "I actually am. And yeah they're gorgeous." She said. "I just didn't know that they're still a big thing here after so many years." This is it. She caught her colleagues' attention. "I knew them from High School."

"Woah! Really? You went to Polis Academy?" They asked.

Clarke gave them a timid smile. "Yeah. Then I went to Australia before I graduate. They were also popular with the girls way back then." She said.

Clarke doesn't want to say anything anymore. Iris was clearly interested and was about to ask another question when suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Dr. Griffin, can I speak with you for a moment?"

Her three colleagues' jaws were dramatically dropped. They were all speechless as they look at the girl behind her.

Clarke stood up. "Alicia." She greeted. Then she remembered, "What happened to Lexa? Is she okay?"

"She is fine. I just want to talk to you."

Clarke nodded.

 

* * *

 

"How are you, Clarke?" Alicia broke the silence and took a sip at her coffee.

They were in a visitor's lounge and were lucky to have the place to themselves.

"I'm good." Clarke replied.

"Why did you leave?" Alicia asked.

Clarke looked away. She was contemplating if she would tell the truth or not. But Alicia was her friend. The girl deserves the truth. "I was hurt. I need to leave and move on, Alicia. I'm sorry if I didn't say goodbye but it was necessary. I want to have my life back. I want to…" She clenched her jaw and stared back at her. "I want to start a life without all of you in it."

Alicia was taken aback by Clarke's words. "I'm sorry if we did…"

Clarke shook her head. "You didn't do anything, Alicia. It was my decision." She clenched her fist, "And your mother made it easy for me. She offered us money, giving me a deal that I would never show my face again to you and to Lexa."

Alicia's jaw clenched. "And you took it." She replied, defeated.

Clarke looked at her with disbelief. "You thought I took it?" She stood up. "This conversation is over."

Alicia panicked; she held her wrist in an instant. "Clarke, I'm sorry. Mother told us about it but I never believed it. I would never think of you like that, Clarke. Please believe me."

Clarke pulled her hand away from Alicia slowly. "Thank you, Alicia. And yes, I would never do that. I already decided to leave before your mother came into my house."

Alicia nodded.

"Did Lexa?" Clarke had to ask.

"We never talk about it." Alicia replied.

"Knowing her? She probably believed it." Clarke shook her head. "Are we done? I need to go back to work."

Clarke turned away but Alicia's voice made her stop. "We need your help, Clarke."

Clarke didn't turn around but she was waiting for Alicia to speak.

"We need Lexa to remember and you're the only person that could do that." Alicia said, her tone begging.

"Why me?" Clarke asked softly.

"Lexa never moved on from you, Clarke. She never dated anyone when you left. She was…"

"No." Clarke turned around to look at Alicia straight into her eyes. "As I've said before, I do not want to be involved anymore. Please understand. I have a new life now."

Alicia swallowed hard. "Do you have someone in your life now?"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "That's none of your business."

"We're not telling you to go back to her, Clarke. We just need your help."

"I'm sorry, Alicia. I can't do it anymore." Clarke shook her head and walked away.

 

* * *

 

It had been three days since Lexa woke up. She was transferred in a VIP suite.

"Where is the blonde angel?" Lexa asked. "Did she visit me while I was asleep?"

Octavia replied. "No Lexa. She didn't."

Lexa sighed.

"Hey, there are still a lot of hot doctors here. I could introduce you to them." Octavia smiled.

Lexa shook her head. "She was probably straight, isn't she? Maybe I freaked her out when I woke up."

Octavia looked away. "Yeah maybe she is." She said.

"I want to go back to sleep." Lexa exhaled a deep breath as she positioned her head to the other side.

"Do you want something to eat?" Octavia asked.

"No. I'm fine. Just wake me up when the blonde angel comes okay?" Lexa said.

Octavia sighed. "Okay."

When Lexa's breathing was even, Octavia called Alicia.

"Alicia."

**"Yes O? Did something happened to my sister?"**

"No. No. She is fine. I just…" Octavia breathed. "She's looking for Clarke again."

She heard Alicia sighed. **"Let's just respect Clarke's boundaries, Octavia. She doesn't want to be associated with us anymore."**

"Yeah I know. But Lexa is…"

Alicia cuts her off. **"I'll be seeing you later, okay? I'm in the middle of a meeting."** She said. Then she heard Alicia's voice changed as she instructed her assistant.

"Being Lexa is hard, huh?" Octavia commented.

**"You have no idea, O. I have to keep my act or we would lose our investors. You know how they like Lexa's demeanor than me. If they found out about Lexa's condition, it would create a big problem for our company."**

"Yeah I know. See you later, Alicia. And good luck." Octavia said and then she ended the call.

They decided to keep Lexa's condition a secret for several reasons. They also requested Lexa's doctors and the hospital itself to keep it confidential especially to the media.

Octavia decided to get some food when she bumped into Clarke.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry."

"Clarke." Octavia smiled at her.

"Octavia." Clarke replied.

"Lexa was asking about you." She said.

Clarke looked away. "I'm sorry. I was busy with work."

"Oh that's fine. But can you visit her tonight? She's waiting for you actually." Octavia said in a hopeful voice.

"I guess you haven't told her about me yet? The history I had with her?" Clarke raised her eyebrows.

Octavia shook her head. "She just wants to say thank you to the girl who saved her life."

Clarke nodded.

"Will you come?" Octavia asked.

"Sure." She replied that made Octavia smiled.

One visit. What could possibly go wrong? Clarke thought.

 

* * *

 

Lexa opened her eyes slowly and was met by a pair of ocean blue eyes. She blinked. "My blonde angel." She murmured.

The blonde's cheeks were flushed. She looked away and Lexa was quick to apologize.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I didn't want to make you feel embarrassed." She tried to sit upright and the blonde was quick to help her. "Thank you."

"No worries." The blonde replied.

Lexa's eyes were studying her for few seconds. She was looking intently at her that made the blonde feel awkward. She stopped her staring game and once again, apologized. "I'm sorry. You are just beautiful. I can't take my eyes off you."

The blonde's cheeks reddened and she tried to look away.

"What is your name?" Lexa asked.

"Clarke. My name is Clarke Griffin."

"Clarke." Lexa liked the sound of the blonde's name in her lips. "Clarke. Clarke." She repeated.

"Do you remember my name?" Clarke asked.

"Should I?" Lexa replied.

"We are…"

Lexa cuts her off. "Your name sounds familiar to me." she was staring intently at the blonde angel before her. "It made my heart race. Why?"

Clarke stood up in an instant when the door opened. They both looked at the intruder.

"Clarke." Anya greeted. Her face looks unwelcoming, Clarke observed. "It's nice to see you again."

Clarke nodded. "I need to go back to work." She looked back at Lexa. "I'm sorry I need to leave."

Clarke was near the door when Lexa spoke. "Wait. Clarke. Are we lovers?"

Clarke was frozen. She didn't know what to say as she turned around to face Lexa and Anya.

She swallowed hard. "We had history, Lexa. But that was years ago."

Lexa nodded. "It doesn't feel like years ago."

"Seven years to be exact." Anya remarked.

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows. "Seven years? Seven years." She felt like her head would explode. She gripped into her sheets. She winced in pain.

"Lexa?" Anya walked towards her. "Are you okay?"

"My head. It hurts." Lexa winced in pain.

Clarke stood there frozen as the medical team entered Lexa's room.

"Lexa! Lexa!" Anya called. "What is happening to her Doc?"

"She is having seizures." One doctor answered.

* * *

 

"Doctor what happened?" Alicia was on the verge of panic when Anya told her what happened. "What is wrong with my sister?"

"She is stable for now. Sudden jolt of memory must have triggered her. I advised not to force her to bring back her memories. It will take some time, Ms. Woods. We don't have to rush her." Dr. Amelia Shepherd said.

"Dr. Griffin. You're on my service today so I would like you to observe and monitor the patient." Dr. Shepherd gave Clarke her file.

Clarke was about to protest but Dr. Shepherd already walked away.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that…" She started.

"It's not your fault, Clarke" Alicia said. "We're at fault here. We wanted to bring back Lexa's memories soon. We didn't think of the consequences."

Clarke nodded.

"Are you okay looking out for her?" Alicia asked, concern laced on her voice.

"Yeah. It's my job." Clarke answered.

"Thank you, Clarke."

Clarke smiled.

* * *

 

"I'm sorry I couldn't remember you." Lexa said to Clarke while the blonde was taking her vital signs.

"That's fine, Lexa. You don't need to rush yourself in remembering things." Clarke replied. "Now, can you lean forward for me so I could check your back?"

Lexa smiled at her. Clarke had to admit that she was taken aback by Lexa's smile. Flashes of memories clouded her mind for a few seconds wherein Lexa only smile for her.

Seven. Years. Ago.

She shook her head and ignored the jolt of memories. She moved on. Lexa's smile shouldn't affect her anymore.

Clarke was using her stethoscope to examine Lexa when the latter took a deep breath and sighed. "You smell fantastic, Dr. Griffin."

Clarke's cheeks reddened in an instant. She coughed awkwardly.

"You don't take compliments, do you?" Lexa asked as she gave her a toothy grin.

Clarke looked away, obviously embarrassed.

"Ms. Woods. I think it's not nice to flirt with your doctor." Her voice was reprimanding but yet Lexa just chuckled.

"The doctor that saved my life. I think it's just fine to flirt with her savior, don't you think?"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "It's not effective, Woods."

"Hmmm… I thought it's super effective given that your cheeks are red like tomato, Dr. Griffin." Lexa gave her a teasing smile.

Clarke was obviously embarrassed as she pulled away but Lexa caught her wrist. "Thank you by the way."

"For what?" Clarke's voice was raspy. Her heart beats triple fast at their skin contact.

Lexa smiled genuinely at her. "For saving my life. I owe you one."

"I just did what I had to do." Clarke replied as she pulled her hand from Lexa's grip.

Lexa nodded. "Will I see you again?" she asked.

Clarke smiled at Lexa's hopeful voice. "Of course, I'm your doctor. You are stuck with me."

"No. I mean. Will I see you again out of this hospital?" Lexa's eyes bore into her soul.

Clarke swallowed hard and shook her head. "I'm afraid not." Clarke told herself many times that she doesn't want to be involved with Lexa anymore.

"Why?" Lexa asked. Her eyes were questioning. "Did I hurt you so bad, Clarke? I'm sorry for what I've done."

Clarke stared at her, her eyes are misty but she fought the urge to cry. This is not happening again. Clarke told herself. And then she softly answered. "Yes but I hurt you first."

* * *

 

It had been two days since she last saw Lexa in the hospital. Clarke was happy that she got her life back after that encounter with her past. She tried to ignore the feeling of emptiness knowing that their paths wouldn't cross anymore.

She continued her daily routine. She loved her freedom. She loved being alone. She loved being single and she was happy and contented.

Lexa Woods is a thing in her past. She shouldn't think about her anymore. 'Amnesia' Lexa might be interested with her but the real Lexa wouldn't even give her a second look.

It's better this way. She thought.

Once again, she looked at the calling card Lexa gave her before they parted ways two days ago. With a deep breath, she tears the card and threw it in the trash.

She opened a bottle of champagne and pours it in her wine glass. She was about to sit comfortably on her couch when the doorbell rang.

Raven. She rolled her eyes. This was supposed to be her 'Me' time. But her friend was being persistent in inviting her to go clubbing. It's raining for god's sake!

She opened her door, ready to give Raven a piece of her mind. But it wasn't Raven. And that made Clarke speechless.

Standing before her was no other than Lexa Woods in a black hoodie, dripping wet from the rain and shivering from head to foot.

"Good evening, Clarke." Lexa greeted, her lips were trembling from the cold.

"Oh my god! Lexa! What are you doing here? Wait here. I need to give you a towel first." She ran into the bathroom as fast as she can and wrapped Lexa with it as she guides the brunette inside her apartment.

The girl was shivering as she dried her with a towel.

"I'm sorry, Clarke. I don't know where else to go." Lexa said as she tried to stop her teeth from grinding.

"What happened?" Clarke asked as she continued her task of drying Lexa.

"I don't feel like I belong there. I felt lonely. I felt like a prisoner at my own home." She replied.

Clarke sighed. "Oh Lexa."

"Can I stay here with you? Please."


	16. Starting Over Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke deals with having Lexa around.

“How did you get my address?” Clarke asked as she handed Lexa a cup of hot chocolate. The brunette looked up to her, her hair was still wet from the heavy rain. Clarke also prepared warm water in a basin for her obviously cold feet.

Lexa gave her a shy smile. “I went to the hospital and asked for you. They told me you went home and I asked if they could give me your address. I was hopeful. They were kind enough to give it to me.” Lexa shrugged. “Must be because I’m a Woods?”

Clarke rolled her eyes.

“I’m just kidding.” Lexa lowered her head again. “I asked them nicely.”

That made Clarke’s curiosity perked up. Lexa Woods asking nicely? That is shocking. If the real Lexa Woods was here, she wouldn’t ask nicely. She would demand for it.

“That’s a first.” She commented before she could stop herself.

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked, her tone curious.

Clarke shook her head. “Nothing.” She replied. She realized that Lexa still doesn’t have any idea how the real ‘No Amnesia Lexa’ would react.

“Clarke, I’m sorry for barging in like this. I just…” Lexa looked at her and Clarke had to remind herself not to be mesmerized with Lexa’s soulful green eyes. “It feels like I don’t belong there. People in the mansion wouldn’t talk to me. It’s like they were scared at me. They keep quiet when I walk in on them. It feels lonely, Clarke.”

Clarke sighed. “I’m sorry if you feel that way, Lexa.” She sat beside her and Lexa turned to face her. “But you have to go back. That is your home.”

Lexa swallowed hard and looked away “You don’t like me here.” She stated.

“No no no. It’s just that your sister and friends were probably looking for you and they’re going to be worried. You were just discharged from the hospital after the accident. You cannot wander around in the streets. You haven’t had your memory back.” Clarke tried to reason out. This is getting complicated. She can’t just threw out Lexa but…

Lexa removed her feet from the warm basin and stood up. “I understand. I’m sorry, Clarke. I will leave now.”

Clarke panicked. Without thinking, she grabbed Lexa’s wrist and stopped her. “You can stay here, Lexa. I’m not going to throw you out of my apartment like this.”

“But I thought…”

Clarke sighed deeply. “We just need to tell your sister that you’re with me. Is that okay?”

* * *

 

Alicia was frantic. She couldn’t find her sister. She blamed herself for being too busy with Lexa’s work stuff. She had been taking Lexa’s place for the time being because they decided that they couldn’t tell anyone about Lexa’s situation. It’s not good for the company. And it’s not safe for her sister too.

Lexa was a business mogul. Lexa dedicated herself to their business after they graduated. She was being look upon to, feared to, and with that, she gained a lot of enemies too. They can’t broadcast to the public how vulnerable Lexa as of this moment. It’s not safe for her sister.

Titus called her earlier and told her that Lexa is missing. She managed to leave the mansion without anyone knowing. She wanted to get angry to them for being irresponsible but Alicia is always the kind-hearted one. She doesn’t get angry. She listens to reasons. That makes her different from her twin. So she just blamed herself for not being able to take care of her twin.

She called Anya and Octavia and told them about the incident then she drove to Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital to find Clarke. She was thinking that maybe Lexa went to the hospital to find the blonde. She really hopes that her sister is with Clarke.

As soon as she entered the hospital, she saw the blonde at the lobby, her back away from her. Immediately, she approached her.

“Clarke.” She called.

The blonde probably didn’t hear her so she taps her shoulder. “Clarke.” She repeated.

The blonde turn around. Her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at her.

“I get that a lot. Must be the hair. But obviously, I’m not Clarke.” The blonde stranger smirked.

Alicia was taken aback. She didn’t expect to be face to face with a beautiful blue-eyed stranger. She was speechless as she studied her face. The blonde’s lips were pouted sexily at her. The girl was oozing with sex appeal. She was gorge----

“Well? Are you just going to stare at me like that, gorgeous?”

That snapped her thoughts. Alicia blinked and looked away for a second trying to compose herself.

“I’m sorry. I was just…” Alicia’s words and thoughts

“Yeah yeah. No need to explain your googly eyes. What can I do for you, Ms. Gorgeous?” The blonde smirked again.

“I need to find Clarke. Can you please tell me where she is?” Alicia’s composure returned. She tried not to be affected by the blonde’s teasing.

“Her shift is done. She already left the hospital.” The blonde answered.

“Oh okay. But can you give me her number so I could contact her?” Alicia asked softly.

The blonde raised her eyebrow at her. “Are you some kind of a stalker?”

“No, I’m not. She knows me. It’s just… complicated.” She replied.

“Well then, if it’s complicated, I can’t give her number to you.” The girl answered.

“Please. I just need to ask her about something.” Alicia begged. Does she not look trustworthy enough for this blonde blue-eyed sassy doctor?

“Alicia Woods?”

Alicia turned around. She was met with another doctor that seems to know her.

“Hi. I’m Dr. Caitlyn Snow.” The girl extended her hand.

Alicia accepted it as she smiled.

“You knew her, Dr. Snow?” The blonde asked, her arms crossed.

“Well, yeah I know her. Her sister is one of our patients.” Caitlyn replied. “What are you doing here?”

“I was actually looking for Clarke. And… she said…” Alicia looked at the blonde as she waited for the sassy blonde to tell her name. When she failed, she smiled and extended her hand. “I’m sorry Doctor for not introducing myself and asking your name. I’m Alicia Woods and you are?”

The blonde chuckled. “Smooth.” She said before accepting Alicia’s hand. “I’m Dr. Sara Lance.”

Alicia smiled. “Sorry for barging in like that. But I’m not Clarke’s stalker.” She chuckled.

“I get that now.” Sara replied.

“Anyway,” she stared back at Caitlyn, “Dr. Lance told me that Clarke’s shift is finished. And I wonder if I could ask for her number? It’s really important.”

Caitlyn smiled. “Sure. I can give it to you.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

 

 

Lexa was in the shower while Clarke paced around her bedroom. She wasn’t sure if it’s a good idea that Lexa is here, alone with her, in her apartment.

Clarke told herself that this couldn’t happen again. She can’t let herself be close to Lexa again. What would Lexa’s mother think? She doesn’t want to be associated with this family ever again. But what will she do? She doesn’t have the heart to turn Lexa away while she’s in her current condition.

She just has to be guarded. Clarke tried to calm her racing heart. No, Clarke. You can’t let yourself fall for Lexa again. She told herself repeatedly.

Her phone ring and that made her jumped. “Oh shit!” She cursed herself for being so jumpy just because Lexa is here. She calmed herself before she answers, “Hello?”

**“Hi Clarke. This is Alicia. Sorry to bother you. I was just wondering if you’ve seen my sister? She left home earlier. And I couldn’t contact her because she left her phone behind.”**

“Oh yes, she is with me.” Clarke replied.

**“Oh.”**

Clarke panicked, her cheeks reddened. “I was about to call you but I don’t know your number. Lexa appeared in my doorstep. She managed to get my address in the hospital.”

**“Oh I’m so sorry Clarke.”**

“No, it’s fine.”

 **“Can I talk to her?”** Alicia asked.

“Uhm…” Clarke blushed. “She is in the shower. She walked through the rain. She was soaking wet when she came here.”

 **“Oh… I mean.”** Alicia coughed. **“I’ll just pick her up then. I’m so sorry, Clarke.”**

“It’s fine, Alicia.” She was about to tell her address when Lexa emerged from the bathroom, white towel wrapped around her body. She swallowed hard and look away. Her cheeks blushing hard. “Oh, Lexa is here. Just talk to her.” She handed the phone to Lexa. “It’s your sister.” She mouthed.

Lexa nodded. “Hello? Yes, Alicia. I’m with Clarke.”

Clarke went to the kitchen so she could give them privacy.

* * *

 

Clarke busied herself in preparing dinner when Lexa came out of the bedroom. The brunette was wearing her t-shirt and sweatpants. It certainly looks good on her.

“Thank you for the clothes, Clarke.”

“No worries.” She replied.

Lexa walked towards her and Clarke’s heart was racing. The smell of her shampoo and soap mixed with Lexa’s scent makes her body react weirdly. This has got to stop! She scolded herself.

“Clarke.” Lexa smiled at her.

“Hmm?” She hummed, pretending to be busy.

“I told Alicia that I will stay here with you for the night. Is that okay? Does the offer still stand?” Lexa’s voice was hopeful.

Clarke’s heart went on overdrive. “Is she okay with it?”

“She told me that if you let me stay then she wouldn’t stop me.” Lexa gave her a heart-warming smile. “So?”

No Clarke. No. No. No.

“Sure. You’re more than welcome to stay here.”

Fuck. What the hell?!

Lexa’s smile widely. “Thank you, Clarke.”

Seeing Lexa’s wide smile and happy eyes makes her not regret her decision.

Almost.

* * *

 

The thing about Lexa is that everything that this woman do just makes her heart beat frantically inside her chest. The way Lexa smiles at her like she is the only person in the planet make her heart soar high.

Lexa is not just the gorgeous, stubborn, authoritative girl in school. Lexa, after 7 years, is indeed the sexiest woman alive. She is a goddess and undeniably gorgeous.

She watched how Lexa watch Game of Thrones with intense passion in her eyes. She was supposed to watch the next season but she decided to play the first season so that Lexa could watch it with her. Lexa loves it.

There are a lot of sexy scenes and Clarke shifted uncomfortably in her seat. It’s a good thing that Lexa had her eyes glued on the TV or else she would be dying of embarrassment.

They finished the first three episodes when Lexa turned her eyes towards her. “This is nice.”

“Yeah. It’s the best series. It’s pretty popular.”

“No. I mean.” Lexa gestured between them. “This feels nice. Watching with you.”

“Oh. Okay.” Clarke looked away, trying to hide her blush. “I agree.”

Lexa cleared her throat. “Did we… uhm do this kind of stuff when we’re together?”

Clarke was taken aback by Lexa’s question. “Uhm… no.”

“Oh.”

It was Clarke’s turn to clear her throat. “We didn’t really… spend a lot of time together. We were busy with school and stuff.”

“Stuff?” Lexa raised her eyebrow. “I’m sorry for asking but I want to know. Did we…?”

Clarke got it. Oh god, this is awkward. “No, we didn’t do stuff like that. We were still young.” She replied, looking away.

“Oh okay. I just thought you were my first.” Lexa replied, looking away.

Yes, she was Lexa’s first in almost everything except the real thing. She wondered if Costia was Lexa’s first. The girl seems so bold and liberated. Her heart clenched but she ignored it. This is not the time, Clarke. She told herself.

Clarke swallowed hard. “I could tell you everything if you want me to.”

Lexa shook her head. “No.”

“Why?” Clarke asked. Why would Lexa refused to know about their past?

“I’m not sure if I want to go back to the old Lexa. She seems like a terrible person. I overheard the maids talking about how they’re happy that I got amnesia. They were scared of her. Of me.” Lexa looked at her, her eyes sad. “I’m pretty sure I was mean to you and I’m sorry.”

Clarke sighed, “Lexa, it’s not----“

“Clarke. I don’t want my memories back. I want to start anew.” Lexa’s voice was determined.

Forest green eyes met ocean blue ones.

Clarke nodded. “I respect that. But if you want to know what really happened, just ask me and I will tell you everything.”

Lexa nodded. “I will.”

Clarke stood up. “You can have my bed, Lexa. I’ll just prepare it and---“  
Lexa stood up too, “Oh no. I would never want to banish you from your room, Clarke. I would be happy taking this couch.”

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. “You’re my guest. I don’t want you here in the couch.”

“I’m fine here. Don’t worry about me.” Lexa said. “Please.”

“Okay then.” Clarke nodded defeatedly. “I’ll bring pillows and comforter then.”

“Thank you, Clarke.” Lexa smiled.

* * *

 

Clarke woke up at the smell of coffee and bacon. She blinked, wondering what was going on and then she remembers Lexa.

She puts on her robe and went straight to the door.

“Oh, you’re awake. Good morning, Clarke.” Lexa greeted her enthusiastically. “I hope you won’t mind that I made you breakfast.” She was smiling at her.

Clarke stared at her dumbfounded. Lexa was wearing her apron. Her hair was up and flour was all over her face. “You cook?” she asked dumbly.

Lexa laughed and it was music in Clarke’s ears. “I was watching a cooking show this morning and I decided to try cooking for once. I mean, I’m pretty sure this is my first time but I hope it doesn’t taste bad. I just want to cook for you as a thank you for letting me stay the night.”

Clarke smiled. “You didn’t have to, Lexa.”

“I want to.” Lexa smiled at her.

“Okay. Let me help you then so you won’t burn my apartment.” Clarke teased and then walked towards her.

Lexa pouted and that made Clarke chuckle.

“I’m trying my best.”

Clarke giggled when she saw how dirty Lexa’s hands and face with flour. “You’re making pancakes.” She said.

“Yes.” Lexa grinned.

She is just so cute. Clarke thought.

That’s the reason why Clarke couldn’t help herself. Without thinking, she reached out to Lexa’s face and wiped the flour near Lexa’s cheek with the back of her hand. “You have something in your…. There, I got it.”

Lexa froze as their eyes met.

And that’s when she realized how close they were. Immediately she stepped away and tried to erase the tension of those few seconds. She mentally berated herself for doing that. “Uhm…” She cleared her throat. “Let’s make pancakes?” She said in an attempt to clear whatever tension came between them.

“Sure, Clarke.” Lexa grinned and Clarke was thankful that Lexa acted like nothing happened. “I need your help with this. I don’t how to make it. I am a failure.” She admitted and that made Clarke laughed.

“Let me teach you then.”

* * *

 

The Grounder Four minus Lexa were at the Trikru Café, one of the coffee shop chains owned by Anya.

“So you’re telling us that Lexa stayed the night at Clarke’s apartment?” Anya asked, her voice disbelieving.

“Yes.” Alicia replied calmly after taking a sip of her coffee. She didn’t tell them last night because this kind of conversation was meant to be discussed personally. “

“I don’t get it.” Anya huffed.

“We don’t have to get it.” Alicia replied. “Lexa feels sort of connection with Clarke. I was informed that she went and asked Clarke’s address to one of the doctors in the hospital. Caitlyn told me that she asked them nicely.”

“Nicely?!” Anya crossed her arms. “I would believe it if Lexa demands it instead.”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Lexa is different now, Anya. She acts like a free-spirited person. The weight of the business on her shoulders was gone. Her memory loss is an advantage to her.”

Anya furrowed her eyebrows. “Did you ever think that the real Lexa wouldn’t want a connection with Griffin again? And she would blame us if we let her go lovey-dovey with blondie?”

“Lexa is an adult, Anya. We can’t force her to stop seeing Clarke. It’s what she wants.” Alicia replied.

“But. She. Is. Not. Lexa.” Anya emphasized the words.

“Let’s just hope that this won’t end badly for the both of them.” Alicia calmly said, her eyes drifted to the person that just entered the coffee shop.

“Is that Clarke?” Octavia followed her line of sight and saw the blonde.

“That’s what I initially thought.” Alicia said.

“She looks hot.” Octavia licked her lips.

Alicia furrowed her eyebrows.

“Where?” Anya asked.

“The hot chick in the counter.” Octavia replied, grinning.

“Her name is Dr. Sara Lance.” Alicia said after a while, her eyes never leaving the said blonde.

“Woah. You knew her?” Octavia teased.

“She was there when I was looking for Clarke.” She replied.

The blonde turned around and their eyes met. The woman gave her a sexy smirk.

Octavia grinned. “You couldn’t handle her.” She patted Alicia’s back. “I could.”

Alicia rolled her eyes annoyingly. “I’m not thinking about her that way.”

“Oh yeah. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Octavia laughed.

“We just met yesterday, Octavia.” Alicia calmly said.

Anya was silent for a while and then she commented. “At a sudden glance, she looked like Griffin but hotter.”

Anya’s words registered inside Octavia’s mind. “Oh. That’s why.”

“What?” Alicia furrowed her eyebrows. She glanced at her phone to avoid such conversation.

Anya sighed. “Alicia, you don’t have to hide it from us. We knew. We knew all along. When did it happen?”

“What are you talking about?” Alicia still tried to avoid it.

“Alicia.” Octavia’s voice was serious.

She sighed. “It happened after Lexa and Clarke broke up.” She looked away.

Octavia and Anya didn’t speak. They let Alicia continue.

“After the thing with Ofelia, I was heartbroken. But then I realize as I slowly develop feelings for Clarke, the thing with Ofelia was just infatuation. When I saw Clarke pining over Lexa, my heart was severely broken. I didn’t plan on falling for Clarke because I know how much they love each other. It just happened. I regret that if I wasn’t so blinded by my infatuation with Ofelia, I should have seen Clarke.” Alicia confessed. “I didn’t try to win Clarke’s heart again as she was crying over my sister. I just want to be there for her. But then she left.”

“Oh. Alicia.” Octavia looked at her.

Alicia smiled. “I know. Lexa and Clarke belong together. I told myself that if I will see Clarke again, I would do everything in my power to win her back. But they saw each other first after 7 years. They really belong with each other.”

“What is it with Griffin that made the Woods twin so in love with her.” Anya said defeatedly.

“I know.” Alicia replied softly.

“Are you still in love with her now?” Octavia asked.

Alicia smiled sadly. “I already got my closure, O. It’s time to move on. That’s why I didn’t refused when Lexa wants to stay the night with Clarke. I think I need to fix what I drunkenly ruined 7 years ago.”

“But what if Lexa’s memories will come back?” Anya asked.

“Fate gave them a second chance, Anya. It’s up to them now.” Alicia smiled.

* * *

 


	17. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTES: I would like to take this opportunity to promote a very nice show 'The Bold Type' They have Kat and Adena as a lovely pair. It's a very nice series. I'm in love with Adena that's why I introduced her here. :) WATCH THE SERIES and you will not be disappointed :)

If someone told Clarke that this would be her life as soon as she comes back in the US then she would have told that person a raging ‘NEVER’. But fate run its own course for Lexa and Clarke to have a second chance. But that doesn’t mean that Clarke is going to pursue a relationship with Lexa other than being friends. Because she won’t.

Love is a word that Clarke buried deep inside her mind. She was hurt and will never be subjected to that feeling ever again.

But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t get jealous especially in this situation. And its damn infuriating. Why is she jealous??

Lexa is currently surrounded by Clarke’s intern friends. They were all being flirty towards the brunette, who seems oblivious to what was happening in front of her.

It had been two weeks since that night Lexa came to her apartment. They have been spending a lot of time together ever since. They were binge watching different TV series and Lexa spent most of her nights at her couch. Everything was purely platonic, as far as she knows. Lexa never flirted with her and vice versa. It was like everything between them was upside down. Lexa is just plain Lexa, not Lexa Woods, if that makes so much sense.

And Clarke knows that her walls are super high, it could rival the Great Wall of China. So why is she feeling jealous again? Oh right. Because the old Lexa wouldn’t even bat an eye to any other girls but this version of Lexa is so friendly and oblivious that Clarke sometimes wish for the old Lexa to come back. But then, they wouldn’t be together due to the fact that the old Lexa wouldn’t even bat an eye to look at her. She knows that Lexa still hates her. Anya made that clear when she came into her apartment a week ago.

Anya’s words ran into her mind once again. _“Look Griffin. Are you sure you want to do this with Lexa? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to it but you should consider thinking about your past with her. I don’t want both of you to get hurt. What if her memory comes back?”_

She didn’t get mad. She knows Anya was just looking out for Lexa and probably for her too. Their situation is the complete definition of complicated. She tried to stay away but Lexa, oblivious to her inner turmoil, continued her daily routine with Clarke. And the blonde doesn’t have the heart to push her away and close her door for her.

“Clarke. Come on. We need another player here. They are taking all of my money and I’m close to bankruptcy. I need your help.” Lexa pouted as she called Clarke. Lexa was playing monopoly with her friends who were being so close to her, it’s considered inappropriate for a board game.

Clarke rolled her eyes. “For someone who is a CEO of her own company, you sure sucks big time at this game.” She commented.

“She traded her biggest asset to Iris.” Caitlyn said, rolling her eyes. “Which is not a good move.”

“For what?” Clarke was now sitting across the floor beside the brunette.

Lexa blushed and looked away.

Thea laughed. “For a secret.”

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. “What secret?”

Lexa chuckled nervously. “Nothing. Nothing, Clarke.”

“What is it?” Clarke pushed.

Lexa grinned. “It’s called secret for a reason, Clarke.” She winked at her and the blonde ignored the annoying skip of her heartbeat.

* * *

 

Her friends left after a while but Lexa stayed as always. She was helping Clarke clean the mess and she looked so happy. It’s different from the old Lexa Woods. She smiles a lot and Clarke thinks it made the brunette look gorgeous. She didn’t even realize that she was staring at Lexa who is busy cleaning her table.

Lexa Woods cleans her table. Oh god! This seems so domestic for them. She remembered the time Lexa volunteered to wash the dishes even though she doesn’t have any idea how. It was actually cute.

_“You have to teach me to do simple things like this, Clarke.” Lexa said, pouting._

_“You know you don’t have to do that. And I understand that you do not know how. So it’s fine, let me clean the dishes while you just sit in the couch, watch TV and wait for me.” Clarke insisted._

_“I can do this Clarke. You already cooked and I want to help you. This is new for me and I like it. I want to do chores for you. I mean, with you.” Lexa said, “I want to be normal, not the rich CEO heiress.”_

_Clarke rolled her eyes. The brunette is persistent and couldn’t take no for an answer. “Okay then. Less work for me.”_

_Lexa grinned._

“Clarke. Clarke. Are you okay?” Lexa walked towards her.

“Oh.” Clarke looked away and tried to busy herself. “I’m fine. I just remembered something.” She blushed. “Something about work.”

“Oh okay then. I’m finished so I’ll just take a shower.” Lexa said.

“Lexa.” Clarke called making the brunette turned towards her.

Clarke’s heart beats tripled fast. “What do you think of my friends?”

“They’re very nice. I like them.” Lexa replied as she cocked her head. “I mean, they’re not as intense as your friend Raven which I’m still pretty sure that she hates me.”

Clarke chuckled at that. She remembered how Raven freaked out when she saw Lexa in her apartment. The Latina constantly reminded her that it’s a bad idea having Lexa around.

“Raven is just Raven. She knew about our past. That’s why she is kind of intense as you say.” Clarke explained.

Lexa chuckled. “That’s fine. But past is past. We’re friends now, Clarke. We now have a chance to have a fresh start. I like being friends with you.”

Clarke smiled even though the word ‘friends’ kind of feel weird coming out of Lexa’s gorgeous mouth. Stop it, Clarke! Damn it!

“Yeah. I like being friends with you too.” She said that made Lexa smile widely.

* * *

 

The next morning, Alicia greeted Lexa as she came home. “You seem happy.” She commented.

“I had a game night with Clarke’s friends. They were nice. It was fun.” Lexa said. “You should come with me sometime.”

Alicia gave her twin a warm smile. “Yeah. One day.”

Lexa smiled in return. “Good. So are you coming to the office?”

Alicia sipped her coffee and replied, “Yes. I’m just waiting for you actually.”

“I’ll just change.” Lexa said. Alicia nodded.

It had been a week since Lexa came back to the office. Lexa’s photographic memory came in handy when she comes back to resume her position as CEO of Woods Corp. She studied the business and both of them decided that she could come back even though her real memories haven’t yet.

Everything changed in Woods Corp since Lexa came back. Everyone was confused when their scary boss changed overnight. But they were more than happy to work with this new Lexa.

Lexa went down with a smile on her face once again. They were both wearing a suit. “I’m ready. Let’s go?” Lexa asked as she fixed her cufflinks.

Alicia nodded and smiled.

* * *

“Miss Woods, Ms. Forrest and Ms. Blake are here.” Lexa’s secretary said.

“Let them in.” Lexa said with a smile. Her secretary is still not used to her boss smiling but she’s glad and it makes her work easier.

“How are you, Lex?” Anya stepped inside first. Her confident strut making its way towards Lexa’s chair.

“I’m fine, Anya. Just trying to enjoy myself inside this four walls.” Lexa smiled. They were getting close again. Lexa doesn’t have her memories back yet but she sure feels the connection between them. The Grounder Four, as they called themselves.

Octavia came in with a smile on her face. “Your secretary is pretty, Lexa. I’m glad she smiles more often now.”

Lexa chuckled. “I was informed that their boss, the old me, is kind of ruthless. She’s probably happy that her boss is not a bitch anymore.”

Octavia let out a good laugh. She sat down on the chair and put her legs up on Lexa’s table. She crossed her arms. “I like the new you.”

Anya huffed.

“What?” Octavia chuckled. “This is our new Lexa Woods. And I kinda like it.”

“I prefer the old you.” Anya said, crossing her arms. “This feels like a fraud.”

Lexa didn’t take offense at that. “That’s fine, Anya. You will get used to it.”

“Yeah, but don’t you want your memories back, Lex? I mean, for me. I would accept this new you if you get your memories back.” Anya insisted.

Octavia rolled her eyes. “What good would it bring then? Lexa is happy and that’s all that matters. Which reminds me. You’ve been spending a lot of time with Clarke. How was it?” Octavia grinned.

Lexa smiled genuinely. “Me and Clarke are friends. We hang out together. I like spending time with her.”

“Friends, huh?” Octavia smirked.

Lexa laughed, “Yes, Octavia. Clarke and I are just friends.”

Octavia laughed and raised both of her hands. “Okay, okay. I believe you. It’s just that you have this connection with Clarke again and I can’t believe its just friendship.”

Anya was silent as she listened to Lexa and Octavia’s conversation. Yes, she wants her friend to be happy but still she thinks it might not be a good idea for them to be together until Lexa gets her memories back. She knew what Lexa feels about Clarke and she remembered Lexa’s heartbreak years ago. She’s just not sure what will happen if Lexa remembers Clarke. It might not end up with the happy ending everyone was rooting for.

“Believe me, it is. Clarke is just not into relationships. She is more focused on her career and I respect that.” Lexa explained.

“But how about you?” Octavia asked and it made Lexa stare at her. “How do you feel about that? About her?”

Octavia is fishing. She knew she was. Lexa knew that too. She just smiled. “Clarke said that our past is not that good. I just want her to see me not the old me. If she developed any feelings for me, I would like it to be with the new me not with the Lexa Woods she already knew.”

“I reckon, you still don’t know what happened between the two of you then?” Anya asked.

“I do not want to know.” Lexa said firmly.

“And why is that?” Anya pushed.

“I’m in a happy place now. I do not want to remember the past that made me… Me…” Lexa said.

Anya nodded. She understood. “Fair enough. But you do know that someday you will remember it all.”

Lexa nodded. “Yes.” She looked at Anya then to Octavia. “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”

Octavia smiled. “Fair enough.” She repeated Anya’s words. “Anyway, where is Alicia?”

“She went to a photo-shoot for the Scarlet magazine, I believe.” Lexa replied.

* * *

 

Alicia came into the studio and was met by a Muslim photographer wearing a hijab. The woman looks absolutely gorgeous. She was mesmerized. “Hi.” She greeted.

“Oh great. Ms. Woods. You’re finally here.” The woman with an accent said.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” She said. She can’t help but stare at her.

“That’s fine.” The woman said, but her tone doesn’t seem fine. Alicia thinks that she offended the woman because of her tardiness.

“I’m really very sorry. I know that your time is very precious and I’m really sorry for treating it like its nothing.” Alicia explained.

The woman finally smiled. “I accept your apology. I’m Adena El-Amin. It’s nice to finally meet you Ms. Alicia Woods.” She offered her hand and Alicia immediately accepted it. “I’m sorry if you think I’m being rude earlier.”

Alicia smiled and her eyes wandered on Adena’s lips. Those lips.

Adena cleared her throat and that made Alicia pulled her hand away. She was embarrassed at being caught. “So, uhm. Nice to finally meet you too, Adena El-Amin.”

Adena gave her a tiny smile.

Alicia headed towards the dressing room and was so embarrassed at what she did. She was checking out the woman infront of her. And the woman was a Muslim for god’s sake. Alicia felt that she didn’t respect the woman and her beliefs by checking her out unashamedly.

The photo-shoot turned out great. Adena was very good at making her model comfortable. She was a very compassionate photographer. And the woman in front of her was just amazing and gorgeous.

Adena was showing the captured photos to Alicia. The brunette tried to remain calm while she was standing side by side with Adena.

“This photos are amazing.” Alicia said.

The woman turned to look at her. They were standing very close now than before. “Well, you are a great model, Ms. Woods.”

Alicia stepped back a little. She needs to breathe and this gorgeous woman in front of her is making her breathless. “Thank you.”

Adena smiled. “So, uhm. It was a good photo-shoot. Thank you very much, Ms. Wo----“

“You can call me Alicia.” Alicia interrupted.

“Right, Alicia. Thank you.” Adena smiled.

They stared at each other for a few seconds when Adena’s phone rang. “I’m sorry, I need to get this.”

“Sure.” Alicia smiled as she bit her lip.

As soon as the woman walked away, Alicia let out a deep breath. Great. Alicia has a crush to a Muslim woman who is probably 100% straight.

* * *

 

“How do you know if a woman is gay, Octavia?” Alicia asked casually. The question is embarrassing but she had mustered the courage to ask her friend while they were hanging out in a coffee shop.

Octavia looked at her, shocked. “Are you seriously asking me that question? I’m having coffee with Alicia not amnesia Lexa right?”

Alicia rolled her eyes. “Forget it.”

But Octavia didn’t let her. “Wait, you’re serious? Alicia? Why are you asking me this? I’m pretty sure that you have your own reliable gaydar.”

Alicia let out a deep breath. “There’s this photographer.”

“Okay. Go on.” Octavia was all ears as she tried to comprehend what Alicia was about to say.

“She’s a Muslim. I’m pretty sure she’s straight but there’s just something about her that seems you know. Or this is just inside my head.” Alicia explained.

“A Muslim. Hmm..” Octavia smirked. “That’s complicated.”

“Ugh. I know right? It is. I’ll just forget about her. Anyway, I’m not going to see her again.” Alicia let out a deep breath. The woman was gorgeous. Alicia thought about her a lot since she met her two days ago.

“Have you seen her nails?” Octavia asked nonchalantly.

“What?” Alicia asked, confused.

“You were asking me if how to know that a woman is gay.” Octavia replied.

“Oh. Okay. I didn’t look at her nails particularly. Does it matter?”

Octavia grinned. “Well, you can’t just finger fuck someone if you have long nails.”

Alicia rolled her eyes. “That’s so vulgar, Octavia.”

“What?” Octavia laughed. “It’s true.”

Alicia rolled her eyes once again.

“Anyway, okay. Let’s be serious. Have you held her stare more than a second? Because that is a very good indication that she’s kinda gay and she’s into you.” Octavia said in a serious tone.

“Yeah. Kind of.” Alicia answered. “She caught me staring at her lips.” She blushed hard at the memory.

Octavia laughed. “Oh my god, Alicia. You’ve got no game!”

Alicia rolled her eyes. “Shut up.”

Octavia was about to say something snarky again when Alicia’s phone rang.

“Hello.” She answered.

**“Hey sis.”**

“Lexa, what’s up?” Alicia asked.

“ **I have a huge favor. Can you do the photo-shoot with Scarlet magazine as me? I can’t make it. I need to take care of Clarke. She is sick.”**

Alicia’s eyes went wide. “We can just cancel it.”

**“Or you can pose as me? You’ve done it before. You can do it again. Please.”**

Fuck. “Sure. Say hi to Clarke for me.”

“What did she say?” Octavia asked.

“I’ll be seeing the photographer again. Damn it!”

Octavia let out a hysterical laugh.

* * *

 

“Clarke. Clarke. Wake up. You need to eat so you could take your medicine.” Lexa said softly.

“Hmmm.” Clarke groaned. She opened her eyes slowly. “You’re still here? I thought you have a scheduled photo-shoot, Lexa?” She said weakly.

“It’s fine. I took care of it. I can’t leave you like this.” Lexa said, sitting on her bed. “I made you soup.”

Clarke tried to sit up. “Wow. You cooked for me.”

Lexa smiled sheepishly. “I kind of asked our chef at home. She instructed me on how to do it.”

“You went all of that trouble just for me.” Clarke said. Her voice was weak and Lexa just wants to hug her but she controlled herself.

“I went all of that trouble just for you, Clarke.” She replied back.

“Thank you.” Clarke said. “Hmmm.. This is good. This taste nice.”

Lexa let out a laugh. “Glad that my limited cooking skill is successful then.”

“You’re amazing.” Clarke said but then she realized what she said and her heart kept beating fast. She looked away as she tried to hide her reddened cheeks.

“I’m glad that you think so.” Lexa cupped her chin and forced the blonde to look at her. They were staring at each other’s eyes.

It feels like the whole world completely stopped before them.

Lexa’s eyes drifted on Clarke’s lips. Unconsciously, she wets her lips.

As soon as Lexa’s eyes darted on her lips, Clarke knew what would happen. And she can’t let it happened. Not now. She just can’t.

So she pulled away. Her walls are back up.

“This is really nice. You should try some too.” She said as she tried to calm her voice.

Lexa let out a deep breath. She stood up straight and acted like nothing happened too. “Let’s watch movies? Is it okay if I stay here with you till you sleep?”

Clarke smiled. “Sure. I would love that.”

“I’ll just change to something comfortable.” Lexa said.

As soon as Lexa left her room, Clarke exhaled a deep breath. The tension is starting between them. Her walls are up, but how long? How long till Lexa Woods will manage to break them apart?

* * *

 

Clarke woke up feeling warm. She opened her eyes slowly and tried to move but her body was trapped. “What the…?”

Her eyes opened wide when she realized that she was being spooned by no other than Lexa Woods. How did that happened? She tried to remember but her memories seem vague. She took a medicine that made her drowsy.

“Good morning.” Lexa said in a raspy voice. She removed her hand slowly.

“Good morning.” Clarke replied in a husky voice.

“Your bed is comfy.” Lexa said.

Clarke turned around to look at her. “You slept here.”

Lexa smiled. “Yes. You asked me if I could stay here because you were cold. I kept you warm.”

Clarke felt her cheeks flushed. “Oh. Thanks then.”

Lexa sat up. “No problem Clarke. What are friends are for.”

Clarke sat up slowly. Friends. They are friends. Friends do sleepovers. That’s normal.

“Are you feeling okay?” Lexa asked. She caressed Clarke’s cheeks with the back of her hand.

“Surprisingly, yes.” Clarke replied.

“That’s great. I’ll make breakfast then.” Lexa said in a merry tone.

Wow. Clarke shook her head. She tried to calm her heart. She could feel her walls slowly going down. This feels normal. This feels nice. But for how long?

* * *

 


	18. Heart's Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke tried to avoid Lexa but her heart has other plans.

Clarke tried to stop it. She tried to refuse what her heart desires but she couldn’t. Being with Lexa makes her weak. Being with Lexa makes her happy. Being with Lexa Woods makes her believe in love again.

She had built her walls too high when it comes to love or when it comes to being intimate with someone. When she was in Australia, there are a lot of girls or even guys that came in her way. But Clarke never gave each one of them the opportunity to be with her. She even identified herself as asexual.

What happened years ago made a huge impact to Clarke’s life. What happened with Lexa made her heart grew frozen. And she never realized before that Lexa would be the one to melt her frozen heart again.

And so, she panicked. She simply doesn’t want to give in to her heart’s desire.

It had been a week since Lexa took care of her while she was sick. It had been a week since she realized that she was in fact, falling for this version of Lexa again. But in true Clarke passion, she didn’t say anything to Lexa. She became distant to her. She wants to have her life back.

“Clarke!”

Lexa’s voice echoed in the deserted hallway of the hospital. Clarke’s heart skipped a beat. She exhaled a deep breath before turning around to face the brunette.

“Lexa. Hi. What are you doing here?” She asked casually. “I’m quite busy actually.” She lied.

Lexa’s face was filled with hurt. “What did I do, Clarke? Did I make you uncomfortable in any way? I didn’t mean to if I did. I just don’t get it why you were avoiding me. I haven’t talked to you since I left your apartment a week ago. What is happening?”

Clarke looked away. She doesn’t want to see Lexa breaking apart like this. But she has to be strong. “I’m not avoiding you. I was just busy, Lexa. I can’t always be available to you. I worked too. I have my priorities. Not everyone is a CEO of a multi-million dollar company like you.” She said continuously and when she looked up to see Lexa, her heart broke into pieces. Lexa’s eyes were filled with tears.

“I’m falling for you.” Lexa whispered softly.

Clarke’s mouth was agape. Did she heard that right? Lexa is falling for her. Again.

And Clarke is falling for her. Again.

They said love is sweeter the second time around. But does it apply to their case?

“Lexa…” Clarke shook her head. “You can’t fall for me. You haven’t even had your memories back.”

“I don’t need my memories back to know that I’m in love with you, Clarke. I’m falling for you as me. I don’t care about our past. I don’t care who is at fault or who hurt the other. I honestly don’t care! I just know that you make me feel something that I’ve never felt before. You make me happy. And I can’t pretend to be friends with you knowing that my feelings for you are not entirely friendly.” Lexa’s eyes were very expressive with the way she declares her love for Clarke. Clarke wants to give in but she was scared.

Clarke shook her head again. “I can’t. I can’t Lexa.”

Lexa exhaled a deep breath. They stared at each other’s eyes. Clarke’s eyes betrayed her feelings for Lexa so she immediately pulled away but Lexa already knew. Lexa saw it in Clarke’s eyes what the blonde feels about her.

So she did what she had to do at the moment. She reached out to Clarke, pulled her against her and pressed their lips together..

Her lips were unmoving at first. She let Clarke decide.

Clarke felt electricity all over her body as soon as she felt Lexa’s lips against her own. She closed her eyes and her heart beats triple fast. She felt her walls collapsed in front of her. She loves Lexa. She is in love with her. No doubt about that.

Lexa’s lips were soft. Clarke misses her lips. It felt home. Clarke feels she finally comes home. Her heart soared high.

She couldn’t take it anymore.

Clarke finally opened her mouth for Lexa and the brunette took that opportunity to deepened the kiss. She angled her head and captured the blonde’s upper lip. Lexa was being gentle so Clarke reached out to hold onto the brunette’s nape because that kiss makes her weak in the knees.

The kiss lasted just for a few seconds before Lexa pulled away. She leaned into Clarke’s forehead and whispered softly, “I will never hurt you again, Clarke.”

Clarke’s tears fell down. She bit her bottom lip as she listened to Lexa’s breathing. “I’m scared.” She whispered back.

Lexa felt Clarke’s tears so she pulled away and cupped the blonde’s face with both of her hands. She stared at Clarke’s ocean blue orbs. “I’ve got you. I’m here. Don’t be afraid.” She wiped Clarke’s tears away with the back of her hand. “I love you, Clarke. You make me whole. I am so in love with you.”

Clarke smiled.

“Are you falling for me to?” Lexa asked, unsure.

“Would I let you kissed me if I didn’t?” Clarke smiled, as she wiped her own tears away.

“I want to hear it from you.” Lexa whispered softly. “I want to hear it.” She insisted, smiling.

Clarke smiled. She decided to give a peck on Lexa’s plump lips. “I am falling for you too, Lexa Woods.”

Lexa smiled brightly as she hugs Clarke.

* * *

 

Lexa didn’t waste any time to invite Clarke on a date the next day. They were walking hand in hand on their way home to Clarke’s apartment when suddenly a woman crashed into Lexa. The brunette was fast to shield Clarke from the drunken woman.

She untangled their fingers and guided the woman and asked her if she was okay. The drunken woman apologized before walking away from them. Lexa tangled their fingers again as she smiled at Clarke.

Clarke smiled. If this was the old Lexa, she would have been mad. She likes this version of Lexa. It just made Clarke fall in love with her more.

“So,” She starts, “the waitress was flirting with you back there.” She said as she recalled the flirty waitress trying to seduce Lexa earlier. “What do you think of her?”

Lexa laughed and Clarke loved the sight of the brunette being carefree. “Don’t tell me that you’re jealous, Clarke.”

Clarke shook her head, annoyed. “I’m not. Who said that I was jealous?”

Lexa pulled Clarke into her and then she kissed the side of her head. “I don’t care about her. I only care about you. I didn’t even know she was flirting with me until you said so.”

Clarke smiled in secret. She loved being Lexa’s only attention. So she cupped Lexa’s nape and kissed her then she pulled away and walked.

Lexa stood frozen and then when she realized what just happened she laughed. “That’s not fair. You can’t just walk away after kissing me, Clarke.”

Clarke laughed heartily.

* * *

 

“So you and Clarke are back together, huh?” Octavia said giddily as soon as she entered Lexa’s office.

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows. “How did you know? I haven’t said anything to anyone yet.” Lexa said. It had only been three days since Clarke and Lexa are backed together. She decided not to tell anyone yet because they still don’t want anyone to burst their bubble.

Octavia smirks. “I have my sources.” She said as she sat down on one of the chairs in front of Lexa’s desk.

“Who told you?” Lexa asked.

“Are you planning to keep it as a secret?” Octavia’s left eyebrow rose at her. “We’re your bestfriends.”

Lexa shook her head. “No, we’re not planning to keep it as a secret. It’s still new.”

Octavia laughed. “Lexa, you were in love with Clarke the moment you set your eyes on her. I’m not surprised that you fall for her again.”

Lexa chuckled. “Is that really that obvious? That I was in love with her even though we’re just friends for a few months now?”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Of course. I was just waiting for you to make a move. I’m glad that you finally did. I’m actually happy for you, Lex. You deserved to be happy.”

“I am very much happy, O.” She said, smiling. “Now, tell me your sources?”

Octavia smiled and then looked away. “Raven.” She answered.

“Oh.” Lexa smirked. “Why are you blushing, Octavia? Do you like Raven?”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Who was blushing? Me? No.” She denied immediately but it was too late, Lexa saw right through her.

“Okay. If you say so.” Lexa laughed.

“Whatever.” Octavia stood up. “You have to invite Clarke to have dinner with us. We would love to welcome her again officially.” She said.

Lexa nods. “Sure.”

“And Lexa…” Octavia added.

“Yeah?” She sipped her coffee.

“Did you consummate your love with Clarke already?” Octavia smirked which made Lexa coughed hard.

Lexa glared at her as she tried to catch her breath.

“What? I was just asking.” Octavia shrugged her shoulders. “Do you even know how to satisfy your woman in bed?”

“Octavia!”

Octavia laughed hard at Lexa’s reddened cheeks.

* * *

 

“I might have said something to Octavia, Clarke. I’m sorry.” Raven blurted out at Clarke.

“What? We haven’t talked about telling the Grounders yet, Raven. I don’t even know if Lexa would like to do that.” Clarke glared at her and then, “Wait, do you still have communication with Octavia? Since when?”

Raven looked away. “We just met a couple of times. She was very nice with me since before. You know how she is.”

“You liked her?” Clarke blinked. “Raven, this is playgirl Octavia we’re talking about.”

Raven rolled her eyes. “I know. We’re just friends. Octavia and I. You don’t need to panic, Jeez.”

Clarke glared at her. “I have the right to panic. Octavia will just break your heart, Raven. And I do not want that to happen to you.”

Raven nodded. “I know. I got it, okay? No need to worry.”

“Good.” Clarke said. “Anyway, Lexa is coming over tonight. This is the first time she’s coming over after we’re together. And I kinda feel nervous.”

Raven furrowed her eyebrows. “You mean, you haven’t consummated your relationship yet?”

Clarke looked away. “We’re just together for three days. We haven’t gotten past small kisses yet. I think she’s nervous to make a move on me.”

Raven’s jaw dropped. “Oh my god. I can’t believe this.”

“What?” Clarke glared at her.

“How gentlewomanly of her.” Raven chuckled. “I just thought that Lexa woman up by now.” Then she added, “You need to tell me everything after tonight. You have to take the initiative Clarke.”

Clarke blushed.

Raven chuckled again. “Do you want some tips?”

“Raven!!!”

Raven laughed hard at Clarke’s reddened cheeks.

* * *

 

Raven excused herself in the restroom after teasing Clarke endlessly when suddenly she bumped into another’s body. She was quick to apologize. “Oh. I’m so sorry.”

“Watch where you’re going.” The woman said in an annoyed tone.

Raven looked up. “Great.” She spat and rolled her eyes. It’s Anya. Her sworn enemy.

“Well, well. If it isn’t the great Raven Reyes.” Anya smirked at her.

Raven turned away but Anya grabbed her wrist. “Is this the way you treat me now? Like I’m some kind of a nuisance to you?”

Raven glared at her.

Anya smirked, unaffected by Raven’s reaction, “Why don’t we rekindle whatever we had 2 years ago, Reyes? What do you say?”

Raven rolled her eyes. “That was just one night, Anya. Don’t flatter yourself. I was drunk and alone. I barely remembered what happened that night.”

Anya’s grip tightened on her. “Oh yeah. I remembered you left before I even woke up. That’s new. Usually I do the leaving, not the other way around.”

“Well congratulations to me. I was your first.” Raven smirked. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I need to go to the restroom.”

Anya laughed. “Playing hard to get huh?”

“I am not playing hard to get.” Raven gritted her teeth. “I don’t even know why I slept with you. You’re not even my type.”

“Tell that to yourself, Reyes. Because I know that when I invite you again to share my bed, you won’t be able to hold back.” Anya smirked.

Raven laughed. “In your dreams.” She pulled her hand away from her.

Anya froze as Raven slammed the restroom door in front of her face.

* * *

 

Lexa’s hand was shaking as she holds the remote. Clarke was beside her and it was painfully quiet. Neither one of them making a move towards each other. It was so awkward.

She wanted to make love to Clarke but she fears that the blonde isn’t ready yet.

“Lexa?” Clarke’s voice filled with worry as she stared at Lexa’s trembling hands. She holds Lexa’s hand to stop it from shaking. “Are you okay?”

Lexa looked at Clarke. She was mesmerized by Clarke’s eyes. She sighed. “I’m fine, Clarke. Just a little nervous.” She said truthfully.

“Why?”

“Because I want to kiss you.” She whispered softly.

“Then kiss me. You’re allowed to.” Clarke smiled genuinely at her.

“That’s… That’s not the only thing I would like to do.” Lexa said, licking her lips.

Clarke swallowed hard. “What do you want to do then?” She replied, her voice husky.

Lexa leaned forward to Clarke. “Let me show you.” She whispered into Clarke’s lips before pressing her lips against the blonde.

Clarke closed her eyes and savor Lexa’s moving lip against her. She opened her mouth when she felt Lexa’s tongue asking for access. The moment their tongues touched, she let out a deep throaty moan. Lexa loved the sound Clarke made so she deepened the kiss more by shoving her tongue inside Clarke’s waiting mouth.

Clarke felt something down her belly. She moaned once again as she cupped Lexa’s nape. They were breathless when they pulled apart. Lexa’s lips went straight to Clarke’s neck. She planted wet kisses on the side of the blonde’s neck. Clarke moaned deliciously.

“Lex… Lexa…” She moaned. Her voice strained.

Lexa pulled away. “Am I doing it too fast, Clarke?” She said, her face worried.

Clarke swallowed hard. She shook her head. “No.” She breathed. “I just… I just… Bed. My room.” She said, she couldn’t even form a coherent sentence.

Lexa smiled and stood up. To Clarke’s shock, she lifted the blonde. Clarke’s hands automatically went to Lexa’s neck. Lexa continued kissing her as she made her way to Clarke’s room.

She puts Clarke down before they even got to the bed. Lexa stared at her for a moment before lifting Clarke’s oversized shirt. After successfully removing Clarke’s shirt, she stopped for a while to look at Clarke’s half-naked body. “You’re so beautiful, Clarke.” She whispered as her eyes darted towards Clarke’s breasts. She licked her lips and Clarke felt a gush of wetness down her belly.

Clarke tugged on Lexa’s blazer. She started to remove it from Lexa.

Lexa unbuttoned Clarke’s shorts while Clarke unzipped Lexa’s pants. The blonde lifted Lexa’s undershirt and then gasped as soon as she saw Lexa’s half naked body. The brunette has amazing abs and Clarke just wants to run her tongue down Lexa’s stomach.

When both of them were already half-naked, Lexa lifted Clarke so the blonde automatically wrapped her legs around Lexa’s. The scent of Clarke’s arousal made Lexa’s breathing goes ragged. They kissed each other passionately, tongues battling against each other. Lexa slowly put Clarke down on top of her bed. Her mouth lowered down Clarke’s neck.

The blonde moaned when she felt Lexa’s teeth on her neck then replaced it with her tongue. She pushed herself forward to Lexa so she could feel friction against her body.

Lexa lowered herself once again; she reached out to Clarke’s back so she could unclasp the blonde’s bra. Once Clarke’s breast were finally free, she looked back at Clarke as if asking permission. Clarke nodded immediately.

Before she knew it, Lexa’s mouth was on hers. She moaned hard when she felt Lexa’s tongue circling her nipple. She breathed out as she felt Lexa’s hands kneading her other breast.

“Oh my god, Lexa.” She moaned.

Lexa continued her ministrations at Clarke’s breasts. She made sure that both of them would be given undivided attention.

“Lexa…” Clarke moaned. She lifted her hips to meet Lexa’s. She could feel herself dripping wet. “Lexa… please…” She begged.

Lexa lifted her head. She felt overflowing emotions as soon as she stared at Clarke’s lust filled eyes. Clarke’s eyes were hooded, her lips parted. Lexa loved the sight.

Once again, she captured Clarke’s open mouth. Her tongue darted towards the roof of the blonde’s mouth eliciting a delicious moan from Clarke. Her right hand tugged at Clarke’s panties.

Clarke lifted her hips so she could help Lexa to remove the annoying barrier.

Clarke’s eyes opened wide when she felt Lexa’s digit exploring her down there. Lexa kissed her passionately. Clarke moaned on Lexa’s mouth.

“Lexa… Lexa… uhhhh… fuck… ahhhhh…” Clarke’s breathing was ragged. She moaned once again when Lexa went to kiss her neck while rubbing her sensitive part.

When Lexa felt her ready, she inserted her finger inside Clarke. Clarke screamed. “Clarke, are you okay?” She asked immediately.

Clarke nodded. “Slowly please.” She mumbled.

Lexa understood. She started as slow so Clarke could accommodate her finger. Clarke was tight and she felt a sense of pride knowing that she was the blonde’s first. Her love for her grew tenfold at the knowledge that no man or woman had ever touched the love of her life. “I love you, Clarke.” She whispered against the blonde’s neck.

“I… love… you too, Lexa. Always.” Clarke whispered in ragged breathing.

After a few seconds, Clarke achieved her very first orgasm under Lexa’s superior fingers.

* * *

 

Lexa and Clarke fell asleep together, obviously satiated from the passionate sex they had the whole night. Clarke found out that she was Lexa’s first either. She couldn’t help but smile at that knowledge.

The long wait was worth it. She told herself.

She decided to cook breakfast for her girlfriend. She was smiling while cooking. She had never felt happy like this UNTIL now.

“Hmmm... Smells delicious.” Lexa emerged from Clarke’s room wearing Clarke’s oversized shirt and panties.

Clarke smiled at her. “You look so cute.” She said.

Lexa looked down on herself. “Really?” She smirked.

Clarke nodded. “Oh, wait. I forgot something. I need to text Raven. She might come here unannounced this morning. I do not want her to ruin our moment.”

“I’ll get it.” Lexa volunteered. “Where is it?”

“It’s in my drawer, I think. The top one.”

“Okay.”

Lexa went to get Clarke’s phone. She opened the top drawer. “Oh here it is.” She said to herself and then she saw a necklace at the corner. She lifted it with her right hand.

_She grabbed the necklace off Clarke’s neck. "Guess you don't need this anymore!" She gritted as she threw the necklace away. She felt angry at what she had witnessed. Before she could do lose her temper, she walked away._

Lexa blinked at the sudden jolt of memories.

“Lexa, have you found it?” Clarke shouted.

Lexa puts the necklace back on the drawer. “Yeah. I got it.” She replied.

That certain memory got Lexa thinking but she hid it from Clarke. She doesn’t want to ruin their morning together.


	19. Fate and Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: 
> 
> One more chapter, guys! Thanks for reading and being with me in this 'rollercoaster of emotion' story. 
> 
> Thank you for defending the story too. I'm very grateful for the comments.

“You got laid.” Raven commented while they were drinking coffee in a nearby coffee shop. Raven’s brows were furrowed as she observed her ‘glowing’ friend.

“What? No!” Clarke blushed when Raven gave her the look. “I mean, is that really obvious?” She asked in a lower voice.

Raven laughed. “Oh hell yeah. You’re glowing. You have this side smile where the corner of your lips twitched and then your eyes seem lost like you were thinking of something naughty.”

Clarke glared at her. “That is so not true.”

Raven, still smiling, crossed her arms. “That is so true.” Then she leaned forward, “So how was it? Was she any good?”

Clarke smiled. “I’m not going to say anything because you were just so mean to me.”

Raven rolled her eyes. “Oh! Come on!”

Clarke chuckled. “Well, I’ll summarize it in one word.” She sighed deeply. “Passionate.” She whispered.

“Oh wow! Lexa has game.” Raven chuckled.

Clarke nodded, then smiled knowingly at her friend.

* * *

 

It had been a month since Lexa and Clarke are together as official girlfriends. It was the happiest days of their lives.

They developed a routine. After work, Lexa came home to Clarke’s apartment. The blonde told her that she would cook dinner for her and even though they’ve done this multiple times the past months while they were just ‘friends’ and ‘girlifriends’, Lexa still feels that her heart explodes every time Clarke is near her. There’s this sense of familiarity whenever she is with Clarke. And there’s this weird sense of scary feeling whenever she remembered something of the past.

The necklace.

The necklace that she threw at the beach because of her anger. The anger that until now she doesn’t remember yet.

Lexa shook her head and breathed deeply. She can’t let the past ruin her time with Clarke. Whatever happened years ago should stay buried in her mind.

The door opened. “Lexa.” Clarke smiled at her. She was wearing a very cute apron that Lexa almost chuckled if it weren’t for Clarke’s pout. “You’re early. I’m not quite done yet.” The blonde said.

Lexa pulled her close and then pressed her lips against Clarke’s. “I can help you.” She mumbled against her lips.

Clarke felt dizzy at Lexa’s kisses. Her heart did a somersault inside her chest. “Okay.” She breathed. Lexa smiled at her response.

* * *

 

Lexa suppressed her smile as she stared at the blonde who was busy cooking and mouthing the lyrics of the song playing in the background. Clarke’s hair was tied in a loose bun and her smooth neck was exposed for Lexa’s eyes to feast at. Lexa wants to kiss that sexy neck of hers.

Because she doesn’t have self-control, she walked towards Clarke and encircled her arms around the blonde’s waist. Clarke gasped.

“Hmmm…” Lexa mumbled against the side of Clarke’s neck. “I miss you.” She whispered.

Clarke chuckled. “You were just here this morning.” She tilted her head to give more access to Lexa’s lips hovering her neck.

Lexa mumbled something incoherently as she bit Clarke’s right ear, which earned a breathy moan from the blonde.

“Lexa… I’m… I’m c-cooking…” Clarke moaned and bit her bottom lip as she suppressed another moan when Lexa pressed her front on her backside. “Oh!”

“Let’s continue that later? I’m hungry for something else.” Lexa whispered in her ear.

“Lexa…” Clarke whined but the brunette already turned the oven off.

Clarke breathed as she turned towards Lexa, her arms encircled at the back of Lexa’s neck.

They pressed their lips against each other. Clarke opened her mouth as she welcomed Lexa’s exploring tongue. The blonde felt heat between her legs as she moaned in Lexa’s mouth.

Lexa knew what Clarke wants. So she lifted Clarke and settled her on the countertop.

“Lexa…” Clarke moaned once again when the brunette removed her panties. Clarke gasped and threw her head back the second Lexa’s mouth was on her center.

* * *

 

After the intense lovemaking on the kitchen, they both continue making dinner giving each other side glances as they tried to control themselves once again. They were both famished anyway.

“How was work?” Clarke started which made Lexa laughed. “What?”

“It’s just weird that you opened up a conversation now after we… you know…” Lexa said and blushed.

Clarke laughed too. “I’m trying to open up a wholesome conversation with you because if I won’t, there will be a round two.” She said in her sultry voice, then added, “And believe me, you and this countertop will both be acquainted this time around.” She batted her eyelashes for effect.

Lexa swallowed hard. “Okay. Let’s settle for wholesome topic and then we will discuss that after.”

Clarke laughed. “So how was it?”

“It’s boring. I don’t know why Alicia doesn’t get bored with all those stuff as she stayed in the office more often than me.” Lexa said.

“You stayed in that office for the past years too.” Clarke said.

Lexa sighed. “Yeah, I guess so. Well it’s different from before because you weren’t in my life for the past years. Why did you leave?”

Clarke stopped and looked at her. “Do you want to have that conversation now?” She said carefully.

Lexa froze.

Clarke reached out for Lexa’s hand. “Lexa, if you want me to tell you everything about the past. Just say it.”

Lexa remembered the anger and the pain she felt on that sudden jolt of memories. Is she ready to know the past now that she’s happy?

The ringing of Lexa’s cellphone cut the conversation short.

“Who was it?” Clarke asked as soon as Lexa ended the call.

“It was Octavia. She was telling me that I should introduce you as my girlfriend now. She is excited to see you again. She’s planning dinner for tomorrow.” Lexa said.

Clarke smiled. “Okay.”

“And she said that you can invite your friend Raven too.” Lexa added.

Clarke nodded. “Guess I have to prepare to meet the Grounder Four, huh?” Clarke smirked.

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Who came up with that stupid name anyway?”

Clarke laughed. “You, Lexa. You.”

“I did? Really?” Lexa whined.

Clarke leaned into her and kissed her lips. “Yes, babe. You are also the Commander, from what I remembered.”

Lexa rolled her eyes once again at Clarke’s teasing smile.

* * *

 

The next day, Raven was ecstatic to be invited by Octavia. She couldn’t stop talking about it.

Clarke rolled her eyes at Raven’s eagerness. “Do you have a crush on Octavia?” She asked bluntly.

“What? No!” Raven refused to have an eye contact with Clarke.

Clarke lay down the blue dress on her bed and walked towards her friend. “Raven, come on. You can tell me anything. We’re not high school anymore.”

Raven sighed. “I like her, okay? But it’s much more complicated than that.”

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“IsleptwithAnyatwoyearsago.” Raven mumbled.

“What? I don’t understand. Speak slowly.”

Raven rolled her eyes. “I slept with Anya two years ago.”

Clarke stood up, shocked. “WHAT?!”

“It’s nothing. It was just a one-night stand. Anya and I. We met in Florida two years ago. I was drunk and heartbroken. She was there on a business meeting. Tequila and a hot Grounder Four member is not a good combination for me. And so, we hit it off. And now it’s coming back to me because I kinda like Octavia.” Raven said continuously.

Clarke shook her head. “That’s complicated.”

Raven agreed. “Yeah.”

“I mean, it’s Anya Forrest. She plays around, right? She can’t ruin your chances with Octavia, right?”

“Do I need to tell Octavia if things get serious between us?” Raven asked.

“Is Octavia capable of getting serious with someone?” Clarke asked back.

Raven bit her bottom lip. “You’re right. You’re right. For all I know, Octavia is not THAT serious with me. I mean, we just meet few times for a cup of coffee. And she’s my boss sooo….”

“Hey, hold up. Your boss? WHAT?”

“Oh. Didn’t I mention it to you? She took over the company I work for.”

“When did that happened?” Clarke asked.

“A month ago. That’s why we always see each other more often.” Raven said.

Clarke sighed. “Just be careful, Raven.”

“I will.”

Then Clarke added, “And about Anya? I think she won’t say a thing to Octavia. Especially if it’s just a drunken one night stand.”

Raven nodded. “Yeah. Probably.”

“Now, what am I going to wear for this dinner?” Clarke asked.

* * *

 

Dinner was great. Octavia was in fact a good host.

Anya was quiet than usual as she observed Raven and Octavia having conversation.

Lexa excused herself when her phone rang.

Clarke went to the balcony to get some fresh air.

“Hi Clarke.”

Clarke turned around to see Alicia smiling at her. She smiled back.

“So, you and my sister getting back together. Fate indeed laid a hand between you two.” She commented.

Clarke smiled. “Yeah. When I came back here in the States, I didn’t even expect to see her again. I actually thought she was married with Costia.”

Alicia sipped on her drink and looked up at the stars. “Fate and second chances. That is what happened to the both of you.” Then she looked back at Clarke. “I’m sorry for ruining everything for you back then, Clarke.”

Clarke smiled. “You didn’t ruin it, Alicia. Stop blaming yourself. I was in a complicated situation with Lexa back then. I was confused. I should have told her right from the start but I didn’t.”

“Well atleast I’m happy now that you and Lexa are back together. I blamed myself for the longest time as I saw my sister being cold and distant with everyone for the past seven years.” Alicia said. “I’m happy that you make her happy. Finally.”

Clarke turned around to look at Alicia and she saw the tears threatening to escape on Alicia’s eyes. She wiped them away with her fingers. “Stop blaming yourself.” She repeated. “You deserve to be happy and I’ll do everything to help you find the right girl for you because you were important to me too.”

Alicia smiled at her. “Lexa is lucky to have you, Clarke.”

“I am lucky to have her back in my life too.” She said.

Alicia noticed her necklace. “You’re wearing it.”

Clarke reached out for her necklace. “Yes.”

“You kept it.” Alicia commented.

“I always have a special place for Lexa in my heart. So I kept this.” She smiled.

Alicia sighed and smiled at her. Clarke was happy and she wants Alicia to be happy too. So she opened her arms to Alicia and hugged her. Alicia hugged her back.

“I actually like someone.” Alicia whispered.

Clarke pulled away, smiling. “What is her name?”

“Adena.”

“Ooooh. Tell me more about her.” Clarke chuckled.

* * *

 

“Where is Clarke?” Lexa asked Raven and Octavia.

Raven answered. “I think she’s in the balcony.”

Octavia stood up and gave Lexa a glass of wine. “I’m happy that you’re happy, Lexa. Cheers to that.”

Lexa smiled at Octavia as she raised her glass for a toast.

“Go get your girl.” Octavia commented.

She was carrying a ring on her pocket. She had been trying to plan the grand gesture for a week now. She knows it’s too early for their relationship to be talking of marriage but she couldn’t wait anymore. She wants to be with Clarke. She wants to marry her.

The only problem Lexa could think of is Clarke’s rejection. She is actually scared that the blonde is going to reject her proposal because the relationship is still fresh. It’s new. She doesn’t want to rush Clarke but she can’t imagine herself without Clarke.

She walked towards the balcony slowly. Her mind and heart was filled with Clarke. Is this the right time to propose to her? Will she accept it?

Where is she anyway?

Lexa was just a few steps from the balcony when she saw Clarke.

Clarke and Alicia.

Wrapped in each other’s arms.

And then flashes of forgotten memories came back to her.  
All at once.

It was overwhelming.

The pain.

The anger.

The hurt.

The betrayal.

Her head hurts.

Her mind went blank.

* * *

 

“Lexa? Lexa! Oh my god! LEXA!!!!” Clarke was in the verge of crying as she saw Lexa lying on the floor.

“What happened?” Anya came rushing towards them with Octavia and Raven behind.

“I don’t know.” Clarke said as she caressed Lexa’s cheeks. “We have to take her in the hospital.” She said, checking for Lexa’s pulse and breathing. “She’s breathing. She’s okay.” She said, her voice still in panic mode.

The brunette opened her eyes slowly. “Clarke?” She whispered softly.

“Oh my god. Lexa. Are you okay? What happened?” Clarke asked. “We have to bring you back to the hospital.”

Lexa tried to sit up. “I’m okay. I’m fine. Just a little headache.” She said as she pulled away from Clarke.

Anya helped her to get up.

“Are you okay?” Alicia asked. “You made us all worried.” She said.

“I’m fine.” She said in a familiar voice that her friends recognized.

Alicia looked at Octavia and Anya. They were all thinking the same thing.

“Lexa?” Clarke caressed her cheeks. “If you don’t want to go to the hospital. Can we go home now?”

Lexa nodded.

* * *

 

Lexa was quiet in the whole ride towards Clarke’s apartment. Clarke was beginning to worry about her more.

“Did you hit your head?” She asked as soon as they were alone in her apartment.

Lexa refused to look at her as she answered. “No. I didn’t.”

“Okay, Lexa. What’s wrong?” Clarke turned towards her. “Something is wrong. Did something happen in the office? You know you can tell me, right?”

Lexa nodded. “Nothing.” She said.

Clarke leaned into her when Lexa froze. “Lexa?” she asked her.

Lexa refused to look at her as she pulled away from the blonde. “I’m actually tired. Can we go to bed?” She said in an even tone.

Now that Lexa knew everything. Every memories and every pain she felt for Clarke, she don’t know if she still can do this. She don’t know if she can pretend like nothing’s wrong.

Lexa is clearly confused. She can’t be with Clarke at this moment. She needs to breathe. “On second thought, I think I need to go home. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said.

“Lexa, what’s wrong? Did I do something wrong? Tell me. So I could fix it.” Clarke knew there’s something wrong with Lexa when she woke up after fainting but she doesn’t want to think about it. She thought that Lexa just might need some rest.

Lexa shook her head. “I need to go, Clarke.” She said then turned away.

Her voice. The coldness of it.

How could Clarke miss it?

Clarke’s voice trembled at the realization of what was happening. “You…” Clarke choked her words. “You remembered…” She swallowed hard. “Everything…”

Lexa stopped.

“You remembered everything.” Her words were clearer this time. “You’re back.”

Lexa gritted her teeth. She turned towards Clarke. All of the pent up emotions from 7 years ago came back to her. “Yes. I’m back, Clarke. I remembered everything. And you know what triggered my memories?” She narrowed her eyes at the blonde. “You. You and Alicia. Wrapped in each other’s arms. Just like seven years ago.”

Clarke’s tears fell. She shook her head. “That was nothing. And you know that.”

“Do I, Clarke? Do I?”

Clarke was hurt. Even after all these years, Lexa still doesn’t believe her.

“Tell me Clarke. What would I feel when every single time I turned around, you were in my twin sister’s arms!”

Clarke slapped her.

Hard.

“Get out, Lexa! Get out!” She gritted her teeth.

Lexa shook her head and leave.

As soon as she closed her door, Clarke’s body weakens. She closed her fist and pressed it directly on her heart.

It hurts.

It hurts a lot.

It hurts even more now than seven years ago.

Her walls were down. She let herself fall for Lexa again.

And Lexa broke her heart.

Again.

* * *

 

Lexa went to her penthouse apartment after she left Clarke that night. She drowned herself with alcohol for three days. She didn’t go to work. She turned her phone off. She isolated herself to the world.

She remembered everything that happened seven years ago.

_“Lexa!” Costia called her. This girl just can’t stop bothering her. And now she’s here. What does she wants this time?_

_“Why are you here?” She said in a cold tone._

_“I know you don’t like me. You’ve been avoiding me and this whole ordeal for days now. But I need you, okay? My father is going to cut me off if I refuse to marry you.” Costia said, her voice pleading._

_“And that is my problem?” Lexa raised her eyebrow at her._

_Costia rolled her eyes. “Okay. It’s not your problem but can you atleast pretend to like me until I get some money for my next travel? I promise I won’t bother you after this. We just need to pretend that everything is okay between us so I could continue my jetsetter life. Please.”_

_Lexa sighed, clearly annoyed. “I’m not going to marry you.”_

_“I’m not going to marry you either, okay? I don’t want this marriage as much as you do. We just need to pretend, that’s it. At least for the time being.”_

_“Okay. What do you want me to do?” Lexa asked just for this conversation to end._

_“Kiss me.” Costia walked closer to her, invading her personal space._

_“What the hell? Why would I do that?” Lexa pulled away._

_“My father hired a bodyguard that monitors everything that I do. He is here now, hidden somewhere. You have to kiss me so he could report to my father that our relationship is going to the next level.” Costia said._

_“You’re a crazy woman.” Lexa shook her head._

_“Come on Lexa. It’s just a kiss. Don’t be coy.” Costia grabbed the back of Lexa’s head and kissed her. Lexa’s lips were unmoving at first but then Costia bit the brunette’s lip and mumbled. “Kiss me like you mean it, Lexa. I can’t convince my bodyguard if I’m kissing a mannequin.”_

_Even annoyed, Lexa acted the part and kissed her._

_After the kiss, she turned away and saw Alicia and Clarke wrapped in each other’s arms at the corner. She gritted her teeth in anger and jealousy._

Alicia and Lexa’s relationship suffered a dramatic turn especially when Clarke left without saying goodbye. Lexa initially thought that Alicia knew about Clarke leaving but then it turned out she was clueless as she is.

Lexa tried to find her secretly. She even hired a private investigator for the first two years after Clarke left. She wanted to know if Clarke was safe and happy but then her mother found out about it and told her that Clarke left with the money she offered them.

The pain in her heart grew strong; she stopped looking for Clarke from then on.

Lexa’s heart grew cold and distant than before. She bombarded herself with studies, work and their business. When their mother died, Lexa took over. Clarke’s name was never to be mentioned again. It was a household rule. She thought she would never see the girl named Clarke Griffin ever again.

Until now.

She loved her. Clearly. She knows in her heart that she is still madly in love with her. She still is.

That’s why the pain is unbearable. Because every time she sees Clarke and Alicia together, the jealousy is killing her. Every time she thinks about it, it feels like she is back in high school.

And now? Now that she is back in her own self. Will Clarke still love her? Or will Clarke look back for the new and improved Lexa and not her? She knows its crazy. It is crazy being jealous of her own damn self. But she can’t help it.

Jealousy and insecurity is a damn combination. Lexa knows that. She needs to fix herself first. She needs to talk to Clarke when she’s sober enough to have a decent conversation with her.

Lexa is madly, irrevocably and crazily in love with Clarke. That much is true.

She has to fix her shit first----

The door of her apartment opened widely revealing Alicia in a rage.

“What the fuck are you doing here? You coward!” Alicia’s voice filled the entire room.

“What are you doing here?” She swayed when she stood up. She was still clearly drunk.

Alicia grabbed her shirt. Her sister was angry and she wants to be angry too.

“YOU!” She gritted her teeth. “YOU are the reason why Clarke----“

Alicia delivered a mean punch on her face. She fell down.

“Alicia! What the fuck!” Anya screamed as she went to Lexa’s side while Octavia went to Alicia’s front trying to stop her from hurting Lexa again.

“Easy. Alicia. Easy. Okay? Breathe.” Octavia tried to calm Alicia down.

“Why the fuck did you do that?” With the impact of Alicia’s punch, Lexa sobered enough to stand up.

“You’re a coward, Lexa! You were given a second chance to make things right with Clarke and you screwed it up again!” Alicia shouted.

“You’re the reason why----“

But Alicia didn’t let her finish. “Me? Am I the only reason, Lexa? You are an insecure bitch! You have trust issues with Clarke ever since. You’re the only person who ruined your relationship! I’m sick and tired of blaming myself and feeling sorry for you!”

Lexa charged at Alicia. They delivered punches to each other. Octavia and Anya weren’t strong enough to stop them.

Anya breathed. “Just let them. They will stop when they’re exhausted.” She said as she sat on the couch, wiping her bloody mouth. She was punched by Alicia as well.

Octavia sighed as she went to sit beside Anya. She had a cut on her right cheek. Lexa accidentally punch her too. “Yeah. Fuck them. All because of a girl.” She sighed.

Anya exhaled a deep breath. “Yeah. All because of a girl.” She mumbled when a certain Latina came across her mind. “Girls are trouble.” She added.

The whole punch fest lasted for several minutes. The twins lay back on the floor, exhausted.

“I’m sorry.” Lexa said after a while.

“What triggered your memories?” Alicia asked.

“I saw you and Clarke in the balcony.” She said, closing her eyes.

“There’s nothing going on between me and Clarke, Lexa.” Alicia sighed. “You have to trust her from now on. You have to trust me too. I’m your sister. I would never hurt you.”

Lexa sat up. “I’m sorry. I was just overwhelmed with everything that happened. I wasn’t thinking.”

Alicia sat up too, facing her. “It’s not just me you should ask for forgiveness, Lexa. Go and talk to Clarke. Before it’s too late. Fate gave you both a second chance. There won’t be a third if you screw this up again. Clarke loves you with all her heart. Win her back, Lex.” Alicia smiled at her.

Lexa smiled and hugged her sister.

“But you need to shower first. You smell awful.” Alicia said, laughing.

“I agree. You look like shit, Lex.” Anya said, chuckling.

“I second that.” Octavia added and Lexa rolled her eyes. Nevertheless, she followed their advice.

* * *

 


	20. Journey To A Happy Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every love story has an ending. Every journey has an ending. 
> 
> Clarke and Lexa belong together. 
> 
> And this is their happy ending. :)

Lexa turned her phone on after she took a shower. Her face was filled with cuts and bruises from Alicia’s mean punches. But that’s okay. She deserved that.

She browsed the messages that came through. All of them were from Alicia, Anya and Octavia. None of them were from Clarke.

At that point in time, she knew she screwed up so badly. She needs to fix this. She needs to fix her mistake.

She dialed Clarke’s number but it was out of coverage.

“Shit!” She cursed. She began to worry. She doesn’t have Raven’s number so she emerged from her room and called Octavia. “Octavia? Can you call Raven and ask where Clarke is? Is she at work or at home? I need to talk to Clarke now.”

Octavia stood up and dialed Raven’s number. “Hey Raven, I just want to know if Clarke is at work or at home right now.” Then she listened. “What? You have to tell me. It’s important.”

Lexa’s ears perked up.

“She’s at the airport? Right now? What time is her flight?” Octavia’s voice was in panic mode.

Lexa grabbed her keys. “I need to go. Now.” She said in a determined voice.

Anya and Alicia followed behind.

* * *

 

Lexa was in a rush. She needs to talk to Clarke before she leaves. She needs to talk to her. Damn it! She really screwed this up. She tried to call Clarke’s number again but it was still out of coverage area.

Her mind and heart was in panic. She can’t believe this is going to happen again. This is all her fault.

As soon as she arrives at the airport, she gave her keys to the valet guy then she run towards the main entrance. She was blocked by airport security.

“I need to find someone. I’m Lexa Woods.” She said in a rush. The security is taking her damn time as she inspects her. “Listen, I just need to find someone.”

Anya, Octavia and Alicia followed Lexa. Anya was the first to talk. “This is Lexa Woods. She is the CEO of Woods Airlines. We’re just here to look for a passenger. It’s very important.”

Thankfully the security let them pass through.

Lexa ran towards the boarding area. She doesn’t know where to go.

Octavia spoke. “Raven said she’s going to Melbourne. Look. I think that’s her flight.” She pointed at the screen.

Lexa nodded. She ran towards the boarding area of that particular flight.

Her eyes were roaming around trying to find a certain blonde. Her heart was beating triple fast. She needs to see her. She needs to make this right.

And that’s when she saw her.

“Clarke!”

Clarke turned around.

Time seem to freeze for a moment as they look at each other’s eyes.

Lexa walked towards her. Clarke stood frozen as she stared back at her.

They were feet apart when Lexa spoke, her voice trembling. “You’re leaving me again.”

“What happened to your face?” Clarke asked, worried.

Lexa ignored her as she continued. “I’m sorry, Clarke. I screwed up. I was a coward. I was insecure. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was a mess back then when you broke my heart. I’m still a mess now and I’m sorry.”

Clarke was quiet. She doesn’t know what to feel. She’s afraid to let her walls down. Again.

“Clarke…” Tears fell down on Lexa’s eyes. She knelt down in front of her. That earned a reaction from Clarke. Lexa bit her lip as she spoke. “I’ll be better. I promise I won’t break your heart again.” Lexa’s heart was in pain. Clarke was quiet. She felt that she missed her chance. “I… I’m in love with you, Clarke Griffin. I loved you back then and I’m still in love with you now. I’m sorry if I was stupid enough to break your heart once again. I’m sorry for being jealous with my sister and I’m even sorry for being jealous to my own damn amnesia self. I just… I just… I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me. But I swear to you, I swear to you, Clarke, that I’m going to love you and take care of you forever if you give me the chance… If you give me this last chance…” Mustering her courage, she reached out for her pocket and showed Clarke the tiny velvet box.

Clarke gasped, her mouth opened in shock.

Lexa swallowed hard. “Will you marry me, Clarke Griffin?” Her voice shivered. Her heart seems to explode. She feels like Clarke’s rejection will be her impending doom. “I know, it seems sudden to you. But uhm… I’ve been planning this for a week. I really really want to be with you forever, Clarke. I know our relationship is just new and you might not want to be married to me but uhm… I’ll take my chances. Because, I can’t imagine my life again without you in it.”

Lexa lifted her eyes and was met with Clarke’s teary ones. Clarke was still speechless as tears come down from her eyes.

“Clarke?” She whispered her name softly, unsure of the outcome of her proposal. She laid her heart there in front of everybody. It’s up to Clarke now.

The emotions are overwhelming for Clarke. She thought that Lexa and her were finished. She didn’t expect this to happen. When her parents called her and said they missed her, she booked a flight immediately to see them. It was just a vacation for her to clear her mind and heart. The three days that had passed was a torture for her. She cried a lot and she thought that she lost Lexa once again.

She still loves Lexa with all her heart. Her walls came crashing down before her.

Clarke swallowed hard before she found her voice. “Yes.”

Lexa was stunned. Did she hear that right? “What? What did you say?” Lexa asked, uncertainty in her voice.

Clarke smiled as she wiped her tears, “Yes. Yes, Lexa. I’ll marry you.”

Lexa’s eyes were wide as she watched Clarke took the ring from the box and put it on her. Then Clarke leaned down to pressed her lips against Lexa’s bruised lips.

Lexa slowly stood up, her lips still pressed on Clarke’s as she wrapped the blonde in her arms.

Clarke was the one to pull away, “I love you, Lexa. I’m in love with you even though you’re stupid, insecure, a coward… I still love you. With or without amnesia.”

Lexa’s tears fell down. “Really?” she asked.

“Yeah.” Clarke nodded.

Lexa pressed their lips once again. They were still caught in each other’s arms when they heard a series of claps around them.

Clarke pulled away, smiling. “Wait. What happened to your face?”

Lexa grinned, obviously ashamed. “It’s actually a long story.”

* * *

 

**EPILOGUE**

**FOUR YEARS LATER…**

 

 

“You’re watching that again, babe?” Lexa leaned down to press her lips against Clarke’s hair.

The blonde was watching her proposal from Youtube. Apparently, the crowd took a video of that day and posted it online that garnered a million views.

_**‘THE ARROGANT CEO OF WOODS CORP ON HER KNEES. DELIVERING THE BEST PROPOSAL EVER’** _

Her pregnant wife loves to watch it every single time.

“Do they really need to write the word arrogant?” Lexa pouted every single time she sees it.

Clarke chuckled. “I love this video.” Clarke said as she wiped her tears.

“It’s making you emotional.” Lexa chuckled. “And I look like crap there. You love watching my bruised face.”

Clarke laughed. “I love the story of that face though. I didn’t know that Alicia had a mean right hook.”

Lexa laughed along. “Oh yeah. I was surprised too. She is a natural.”

Clarke agreed. She pressed her lips on Lexa’s “I love you.” she mumbled against between kisses.

“I love you.” Lexa replied back.

“Babe.” Clarke pulled away.

“What?” Lexa’s eyes were filled with lust when Clarke pulled away.

“I think my water broke.” She said, trying to control her panic.

“WHAT?” Lexa’s hooded eyes were replaced with wide panic eyes. “Oh my god, really?”

“Yes, babe.” Clarke breathed, trying to stay calm. “Maddie and Aden wants to come out now. Like right now.”

Lexa panicked. She called out for Alicia. “Alicia! Alicia!!!”

Alicia, having heard of Lexa’s panic voice, ran out of her room. “What happened?”

“Clarke’s water broke. We need to bring her to the hospital. Call Titus. Call the driver. Help me carry my wife.” Lexa ordered. “Call Anya and Octavia too.”

Alicia did what she was told.

“Lexa.” Clarke breathed.

“Yes Clarke?”

“Relax. I’m the one having the baby. You look like you’re having a heart attack.” Clarke chuckled between panting and breathing.

“I’m okay. I’m okay. Are you okay?” Lexa asked.

Alicia came back and helped Lexa carry pregnant Clarke. “Relax Lexa.” Alicia said. “We got this.”

Lexa smiled but winced when she saw Clarke’s face in pain.

The whole night was a disaster in the Woods mansion because Lexa was in full panic mode.

Once in the hospital, Lexa paced around in the corridor while the four of them waits.

“Hey Lexa. Relax. Clarke is going to be okay.” Octavia rubbed Lexa’s shoulder.

“What is taking them so long? I need to see my wife.” Lexa said in an authoritative voice.

“You have to relax.” Anya said.

The door of the delivery room opened and the doctor came out.

“Is my wife okay, doc?” Lexa asked.

“She needs you. Come with me.” The doctor said. Lexa followed behind.

“Lexa!” Clarke said between breaths as soon as she saw her pale wife. “You look pale.” She said, chuckling.

Lexa reached out to her hand and kissed her forehead. “Don’t mind me. I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“It’s painful.” Clarke breathed.

“One more push Clarke.” The doctor encouraged.

“One more push, babe.” Lexa repeated.

Clarke gave out a long push and the sound of a baby crying made Lexa smiled widely. “You did great babe. You did great. Oh my god. He’s an angel.” She whispered when the doctor gave the baby to Lexa.

“Congratulations. It’s a boy.” The doctor said.

Clarke breathed. “Oh god.” She looked at her baby. “Come here baby Aden.”

Lexa kissed Clarke’s forehead, tears streaming down her cheeks.

The doctor interrupted their sweet precious moments when she said. “Baby number 2 is ready to come out, Clarke. We need another push.”

Lexa gave the baby to the Pediatric Doctor. She held Clarke’s hand once more.

After a few seconds, the baby was out and this time, it’s a girl.

“Oh. Maddie.” Clarke said. Lexa wiped her wife’s sweaty forehead.

“You’re amazing, Clarke. You’re amazing.” She whispered as they both looked at their daughter with tears in their eyes.

The doctor gave the baby back to Lexa. Lexa carried Baby Aden with care. “Our little angels.” She whispered. “They are so adorable.”

“Yes.” Clarke smiled then she looked at Lexa. “I love you, Lexa.”

Lexa kissed her lips. “I love you too, Clarke.”

 

**___________THE END_________**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTES: That's it guys! The Grounder Four Last Chapter. Thank you for reading and appreciating this story. 
> 
> This might be my last clexa story for now because I will be writing for my new favorite fandom 'KADENA' from The Bold Type. I recommend it for those who haven't watched it yet. Believe me, they are one of the best girl on girl pairing for now. Adena El- Amin is worth it to watch. I assure you :)
> 
> P.S.
> 
> I made Alicia Woods' love storyline open ended because I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they will give her a girl partner in Fear The Walking Dead if they turned her a lesbian character like Lexa in The 100. Who knows, if there is a suitable partner for her in the show, I might be writing a sequel for this story focusing on Alicia Woods' lovelife. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, this is Rainezeik signing off... 
> 
> Follow me on twitter if you like: @theRainezeik :)
> 
> Thanks to all my readers!


End file.
